How To Have A Healthy Relationship With Social Media

Frustrated mixed race teen girl received unpleasant message

What are some best practices for fighting FOMO, loneliness, or anxiety related to social media? originally appeared on Quora: the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world. 

Answer by Antigone Davis, Director, Global Head of Safety at Facebook, on Quora: 

Scientific research demonstrates that strong relationships are a primary driver of human well-being and satisfaction in people’s lives. More than economic circumstances, career success, or other factors, meaningful relationships determine our feelings of happiness and fulfillment, connect us to loved ones, and unite us with those in our communities.

When people can’t break away from social media or primarily use it passively, their interpersonal relationships can suffer. When people constantly compare their lives to those they see online, it can erode self-esteem. And when people become isolated from their friends, families, and colleagues, it can create feelings of loneliness – the very antithesis of relationship and a serious risk to well-being.

At Facebook, we’ve been working hard to develop products that improve well-being. Our product efforts can be broadly classified into a few key areas:

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  • Focus on meaningful interactions: Relationships tend to be key drivers of well-being. Interacting one-on-one with with people that you care about is a great first step. Some other things to consider:
  • Check out Groups: Interacting with others who share your interests online is often an effective way to feel more connected and to build community.
  • Reach out directly: Rather than posting content, if you’re feeling down, it’s often better to reach out individually to friends individually – it’s a great way to catch up and connect with someone one-on-one.

Attend events: Social media platforms provide countless ways for people to organize locally and meet new friends. Try it.

This question originally appeared on Quora – the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world. You can follow Quora on Twitter and Facebook. More questions:

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Source: How To Have A Healthy Relationship With Social Media

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Career Strategies: The 5 Deadly Phrases To Avoid In The Job Interview Process

When it comes to the job interview process, whoever tells the best story wins. But certain phrases and ideas can short-circuit your career plans. Are you really able to have the kind of leadership conversation your job search deserves? When it comes to creating the career conversation that leads to consideration, avoid these five show-stoppers in the interview.

If you argue for your limitations, they are yours.

Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull
  1. When Is Honesty NOT the Best Policy? – do you ever find yourself saying a version of this phrase: “If I’m being honest…”? TBH, that phrase is honestly hurting your chances in the interview process. Here’s why: if I need to call out the fact that I’m being honest right now, doesn’t it make you wonder if I’ve been honest with you up until this point? Why did I wait until now to get real and spill the T? Actually, in the interview, honesty is the only policy that works. Highlighting the fact that you are getting to the truth, but only just right now, can arouse suspicion and make people wonder why you aren’t full-on honest all the time. If you are a person of integrity, honesty is your default setting. Don’t create unnecessary suspicion. “To be honest…” is a filler phrase – like “umm” “Uh…” and “like”. None of those fillers are very satisfying in the job interview. So be really honest with yourself, and leave out the words that don’t serve you.
  2. The Fault Line – don’t cross it. “It was her fault” is the kind of blamestorming that can take you out of the running. Why? Because companies hire people who can overcome limiting circumstances. People are imperfect, nobody has a team of 100% superstars and circumstances often create difficulties in the office (that’s why it’s called work). How did you get past the obstacles and limitations – even if one of those obstacles was Jessica in Accounting? Phrases that blame people and situations point out your own limitations – what you couldn’t tolerate, tackle or transform. Focus on the story of how you overcame challenges, how you helped others to be better, or how you picked up the ball when somebody else dropped it. Remember, other people don’t need to be bad in order for you to be good. Concentrate on how you solve real problems – including personnel problems – by taking responsibility instead of laying blame.
  3. What You Don’t Know Won’t Hurt You – do you know how to answer an interview question where the answer is, “I don’t know” or “No, I don’t have that skill”? The fact is, no one can know everything. And not everything can be googled. Saying “I don’t know” isn’t a phrase that can NEVER hurt you – because it’s an honest and real response! The phrase that’s really dangerous? Trying to fake it until you make it! Don’t create a fiction around your skill set, ever. Any phrase that feels like fiction is one you’ve got to avoid.
  4. Disconnection is Deadly – Considering questions about skills or experiences you don’t have: are you able to connect your interviewer to a relatable topic – something that you do know, that might be supportive or helpful? For example, if the CIO says, “Do you have Salesforce Administrator Certification?” and you don’t, what do you do? Do you just say, “Nope!” blink twice and wait for your next mistake? Find a phrase that pays by connecting to what you do have: skills, talents and desire for the role! Point out the other experience or to action you can take to get what’s needed. “I don’t have the Admin certification but I went to Dreamforce [the company’s major annual conference] the last two years in a row. I’m very familiar with the software – let me share with you the experience I have and my training so far. If that certification is important, I can put together a plan to gain that credential in short order. Do you think that plan would be a requirement if I were to get this role?” Always connect your answers back to your interviewer, the company’s goals and your ability to work hard in the job – those things are always part of your story.
  5. Ultimatums – an ultimatum is a statement of what you won’t tolerate, usually phrased as a demand. Ultimatums reflect terms that you will or won’t accept, period. By definition, ultimatums point to your lack of flexibility and adaptability (two characteristics that might be useful for a new hire, wouldn’t you agree? Why would you demonstrate that you lack these two key qualities?) Now some ultimatums are important: “I won’t tolerate racism on my team”, for example, points to your beliefs and values. But “I won’t work on weekends” or “I need every Thursday afternoon off, or I can’t work here” is really pointing out your limitations. Look for phrases like “I can’t accept _______”, “I won’t allow that” or “That just won’t work for me.” Because if it won’t work for you, maybe you won’t work for this company. Every job interview is a negotiation. Once you get to “yes” you can decide if you want to take the job or not. You’re in the interview to explore your options – why start cutting yourself off from possibilities? Does it help your career to present demands and requirements, or are there other ways of looking at the situation? Is your ultimatum a personal preference that you’re clinging to, like a security blanket, or a statement of your integrity, values and work ethic? It’s better to keep your options open if you really want the job. Know the difference between uncompromising values and limiting statements that knock you out of the running. Keep your options open. Find out what’s really on offer and make a business decision to see if it fits for you. Ultimately, what you will and won’t accept is your decision, but arriving at that place without ultimatums is a smart way to frame the conversation.

The best interview is the most authentic, where you speak from your heart about the solution you can provide. By creating a dialogue with your interviewer, you build the conversation that matters most in your career. Don’t short-circuit your skills with ultimatums, filler phrases or fear of the unknown. The interview process is a journey of discovery. Your story – and the way you tell it – will guide you towards your next destination.

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I write about the changing nature of the leadership conversation, and how communication creates the connections that matter. Recognized as the U.S. National Elevator Pit…

Source: Career Strategies: The 5 Deadly Phrases To Avoid In The Job Interview Process

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“Tell me about a difficult situation or challenge you faced in a workplace” By asking this question, employers are trying to see how you (A) take charge in handling a challenging situation, or (B) collaborate with your coworkers as a team to solve a conflict. They want to know if you have critical thinking and problem solving skill, how you approach the problem and the level of responsibility you take in challenging situations. It is very important to make sure that you use an example that demonstrates your ability to handle difficult situation. So do not mention about when you elevated the responsibility. Rather, talk about times when you stepped up and took a leadership position by collaborating with your coworkers. In order to construct effective story, use PAR model and follow the 3 steps. 1 Problem: Identify the problem. What was the issue? 2 Action: How did you and your coworkers analyzed the problem and took actions to solve the issue? 3 Result: What was the positive outcome in result of the action? By following PAR model, you can frame your story well. Watch the video to see example answer and start constructing your answer. Jobspeaker is a FREE service to help job seekers find better jobs. Login today!

8 Common CBT Based Therapies & How They Could Power Up Your Mental Health

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It starts where everything starts: a Google search. Which leads to a Psychology Today directory. And from there you write down a few names. Some people located near your office. A couple maybe near home.

Things cascade. It’s like the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie story, but it’s If You Give a Guy Some Mental or Emotional Distress. It begins as a panic-struck Sunday afternoon scrolling through streams of psychotherapists, certified counselors, licensed social workers, all with any number of credentialing acronyms at the ends of their names.

You ask a friend or two. Ask who they see, what they like. One sees a doctor who just doles out scrips. That’s too cold, and not what you need. Another builds sessions off pulling a card from a tarot deck. Which is just a little too hippy-dippy. But their preferences help you define yours.

Who do you want to actually talk to? Someone who looks like you? Another man? Around the same age? Or someone totally different from you and the people you spend time with. Maybe an older woman who could be a stand-in for one of your mom’s old work colleagues. A Janet or a Caroline.

So you write a few inquiries, laying out what’s bothering you. They ask to get on the phone with you. “I would put the onus on them to organize the conversation,” says Avi Klein, a licensed clinical social worker and Men’s Health advisory board member. “That would start to give you a sense of how they work.”

Suddenly, you’re coordinating times and a private place to take the call. You try to take account of billing—if they’re in network or not. You check your insurance plan. And if their hours fit with your schedule. If the logistics line up, you keep going.

“Ask them to explain why their approach will work,” says Klein. “You should share a sense of a road map and what the expectations are.” If they’ll be direct and action oriented. Or if they’ll have you journal or fill out worksheets. If they’ll just sit and let you vent for 45 minutes.

The most important part of that consultation or phone call “is your sense of them,” says Klein. “Do you like them? A good working relationship is one of the biggest determining factors in successful therapy outcomes.”

And maybe you don’t follow up with one of them. Or you make an appointment, and just the one appointment. It’s fine. You’re testing people out. Tell them that. They get it. Then you leave one consultation feeling pretty good. You carve space in your schedule, and clear it with your insurance, and plan for next week.

Because once you get a hint of how much better you could feel, you find a way to make it work. —Matt Goulet

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There are hundreds of therapy techniques, some employed by trained professionals and some, like “puppet therapy,” that aren’t. Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D., helps us select the most effective methods.

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“I would encourage people to seek out practitioners of cognitive behavioral therapy,” says Lazarus. Focusing on corrective thoughts and actions, behavioral therapy aims to provide everyday strategies for the stresses and anxieties of the here and now. But avoid “monotherapy”—an approach that employs only one method. Choosing a behavioral treatment is like mixing a cocktail: It should include techniques tailored to the individual. These are some of the more common CBT-based approaches you’ll likely come across.”


Assertiveness Training/Interpersonal Effectiveness

  • Helps you: Learn to say no without feeling guilty. It also helps you express your feelings and desires in a responsible manner.
  • Best for: Those looking to express themselves in healthier ways.

Cognitive Restructuring

  • Helps you: Shift your thinking from negative and self-defeating patterns to more realistic and adaptive ones.
  • Best for: Those managing invasive and stressful thoughts.

Behavioral Activation

  • Helps you: Identify and correct behaviors that are driving depression. For example, you’re withdrawing and disconnecting from enjoyable activities.
  • Best for: Those whose depression prevents them from engaging socially.

Emotional Regulation

  • Helps you: Bring your emotional experience to a better baseline.
  • Best for: Those whose emotions interfere with healthy functioning.

Exposure Therapy

  • Helps you: Overcome your fear or anxiety by doing exactly what the name suggests: being exposed to its source.
  • Best for: Those with intense phobias or other anxiety disorders.

Mindfulness/Meditation

  • Helps you: Foster nonjudgmental awareness of the present, yourself, other people, your thoughts, and your emotions.
  • Best for: Those wanting to keep their mindset in the present and manage stress.

Somatic Therapy (Exercise/Yoga)

  • Helps you: Set your focus on the body and movement. “Physical exercise is probably one of the most powerful stress relievers and anti-depressants,” says Lazarus.
  • Best for: Those wanting to improve their mind and body as well as their mood.

Social Skills Training/Communication Training

  • Helps you: Better interact with those around you by developing skills like active listening and assertive expression.
  • Best for: Those working on sociability or suffering from social anxiety.

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Psychoanalytic Therapy

Also known as: psychodynamic therapy

The oldest (and perhaps now antiquated) technique, it involves tackling unresolved conflicts in your past and gaining insight through psychoanalysis. If a therapist uses the word analysis in his or her online profile, this is what you might be getting, says Lazarus. Think Freud, couches, and discussions of your childhood. Really, it’s still a thing.

Best for: The overly introspective, intellectuals.

Humanistic Therapy

Also known as: person-centered, existential, gestalt

Popular in the late ’50s, this practice focuses on providing a safe and supportive environment to explore your thoughts and feelings. The therapist won’t challenge your ideas or give you any recommendations but will instead listen and allow you to work through your issues verbally.

Best for: People who want passive, nondirective, sounding-board therapy.

Source: Which Form of Therapy Is Best for You?

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In this Your Health segment, William Regenold, MD, CM, associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and psychiatrist at the University of Maryland Medical Center joins Donna Jacobs, senior vice president for community health, University of Maryland Medical System, and Jamal Lewis, a former NFL running back, to focus on men and mental health and why men may be hesitant to seek help when it comes to their mental health. For more information, go to: umms.org/communityhealth

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Mental Health, The Not So Widely Talked About Problem That Needs To Be On Every Company’s Agenda In 2020

We Are Experiencing A Mental Health Crisis

  • One in five Americans manage a diagnosable mental health condition in any given year.
  • Up to 80% of people will manage a diagnosable mental health condition in their lifetime.
  • On average, individuals must wait up to 25 days for a psychiatry appointment; waiting comes at significant cost to both the employer and health plan.[i]

Putting off care for behavioral health needs can increase medical spend by up to 300%.

For Employers, Worker Productivity And Retention Are At Extreme Risk

Mental health conditions significantly impact workforce productivity; over 200 million workdays are lost due to mental health conditions each year — the equivalent of $16.8 billion lost in employee productivity. By putting off behavior health needs, medical spend can increase by up to 300%. Unsupported mental health conditions cause employee absenteeism and presenteeism, which are responsible for costing US businesses billions annually, resulting from clear losses in productivity, engagement, and retention. According to Mind Share Partners’ “Mental Health at Work 2019” report, 50% of Millennial and 75% of Generation Z workers reported having left a job due (at least in part) to mental health reasons.[ii]

Virtual Care Provides A Scalable And Lower-Cost Delivery Vehicle For Mental Health Support

With the market facing staffing shortages, new offerings including virtual coaching platforms have emerged and gained traction. Enrollment for virtual health support for mental health is on the rise, and Forrester predicts that in 2020, one out of 11 mental health visits will be delivered virtually.

To improve both the member and employee experience, and reduce attrition, health insurers and employers must invest in offering access to behavioral health support, including access to virtual care services as a delivery vehicle — a significantly more economically palatable option. A mobile-first approach catalyzes and supports on-demand access to drive higher rates of engagement. Mobile-first also enables those employees and members most in need of care to gain access to mental health support 24x7x365.

A paradigm shift in the perception of mental health must occur within your organization. Human capital management can start catalyzing this transformation by:

  1. Surveying the workforce. Begin with an employee engagement and satisfaction survey to gauge the employee experience (EX) with a focus on burnout, stress, and happiness at work. These indicators will provide a pulse on where your organization stands and a baseline to measure future programs, initiatives, and technologies against. Be prepared to act on what really matters to employees. Set up a continual EX feedback loop to enable an agile approach to improve the mental well-being of employees. See Forrester’s report, “The Employee Experience Imperative,” for ways you can go beyond a survey to build a business case and improve EX across the org.
  2. Finding a virtual care technology partner. Partner with a vendor that not only has a leading product offering and human-to-human support but also the ability to educate and train the workforce to better manage and bring awareness to their mental health. Begin an RFP or, even better, a POC process to discover virtual care technology vendors offering on-demand mental health services. Examples of vendors working with employers and health plans in the space include Ginger, Lyra, Spring Health, Talkspace, Happify Health, and Modern Health.
  3. Creating the right cultural shift. Culture change cannot occur without coming from the top down. Get executive buy-in and task organizational leaders with creating an “open” atmosphere around mental health. Employees should feel encouraged to discuss stress, anxiety, and depression with their superiors and know their superiors are invested in helping them overcome those feelings.

Want to see our other four big predictions for 2020? Check out the full predictions report here. Want to discuss potential vendor partners for your needs? To understand the major dynamics that will impact firms across industries next year, download Forrester’s Predictions 2020 guide.

This post was written by Senior Analyst Arielle Trzcinski, and originally appeared here.

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Forrester (Nasdaq: FORR) is one of the most influential research and advisory firms in the world. We work with business and technology leaders to develop customer-obsessed strategies that drive growth. Forrester’s unique insights are grounded in annual surveys of more than 675,000 consumers and business leaders worldwide, rigorous and objective methodologies, and the shared wisdom of our most innovative clients. Through proprietary research, data and analytics, custom consulting, exclusive executive peer groups, and events, the Forrester experience is about a singular and powerful purpose: to challenge the thinking of our clients to help them lead change in their organizations.

Source: Mental Health, The Not So Widely Talked About Problem That Needs To Be On Every Company’s Agenda In 2020

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Is Mental Health important​ in the workplace? Tom explores all things related to workplace mental health, including mental health in school workplaces, in this insightful video. Tom helps employers figure out mental health at work. He reviews workplaces, trains managers and writes plans. Since 2012 he has interviewed more than 130 people, surveyed thousands and worked across the UK with corporations, civil service, charities, the public sector, schools and small business. Tom has worked with national mental health charities Mind and Time to Change and consults widely across the UK. He lives in Norfolk and is mildly obsessed with cricket and camping. He runs Bamboo Mental Health, an organisation dedicated to improving how employers support their people on mental health. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
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