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Why Fluffer Friends Aren’t Good Friends — Success Inspirers’ World

Originally posted on Faithfully Falling Into Life: I have had many friendships throughout high school already. Some have stayed and are still alive. Some have withered away and no longer exist. Some are being revived because we have learned how to be honest. I have realized that the friendships that have lasted and kept strong…

via Why Fluffer Friends Aren’t Good Friends — Success Inspirers’ World

 

 

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Successful Relationships Don’t Necessarily Last Forever – Patrick Allan

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As a society, we tend to look at breakups and divorce as a failure. But a relationship ending doesn’t mean it wasn’t successful in some way. Sometimes a fling is ideal for both parties, sometimes a long marriage ending is the only chance for a new beginning, and every relationship teaches you something you didn’t know before.

There’s no doubt that ending a relationship is difficult, and often quite painful, but it can certainly be for the best—the best for you, and the best for others. As philosophy YouTube channel The School of Life puts it (video below), there’s this collective assumption that for love to be real or genuine, it must be eternal. “True love,” as they say, is endless, everlasting love.

And any relationship ending before someone perishes is a failure and should be considered an emotional catastrophe, right? Wrong. There’s no pass or fail when it comes to love, only beginnings and endings. It’s like saying one failed at their career because they decided it was best to leave a particular job to see if there might be a better fit elsewhere.

We champion this concept of the life-long love story, making it the ultimate goal, but many of us rush to get there. We don’t grant ourselves the freedom to find out what truly makes us feel content—partially because we know compromise is essential, but also because we don’t actually know what we want out of a partner (or if we want one at all). Short relationships teach you that. You get together, you learn things, and it either continues because it’s right, or it comes to an end because it’s not. But every ending gives you knowledge that will help you find a better, stronger beginning in the future.

In fact, if you went over everyone you’ve ever been with in your head, you could probably think of at least one vital thing you realized while you were with each one of them. Maybe you learned that you need someone who’s more affectionate and pays closer attention to the little things. Perhaps you realized that you’re attracted to ambition as opposed to apathetic stability. Or maybe you simply came to terms with the fact that you’re a tidy person that can’t be with a slob.

If you can come away with one of those tiny epiphanies every time things don’t work out, that’s a success! It may not feel like it right away thanks to your emotions and social pressure, but it is, so don’t despair. Eventually, you may begin a relationship that doesn’t end—it happens all the time—but until then, it’s okay to simply learn things about yourself and what you want in a partner.

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Knowers & Learners Quick Thoughts On Different World Views – Bruno Bergher

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My work these days involves spending a lot of time with early stage companies, where we’re racing against the clock to turn bold new ideas into usable products, and see if they work.

It’s a land where you’re knee-deep in ambiguity, and surrounded by a sea of unanswered questions. It’s an environment where short-circuiting feedback loops pays off big time, and where fast action is highly valued.

But with so much to do and so little time, teams often get into hard scoping discussions. There’s no way to know for sure in advance what a product needs to offer in order to be validated. I’ve noticed two different types of people emerge from those discussions:

  • The ones who want to be right
  • And the ones who want to learn

The ones who want to be right defend their ideas based on their experience, their seniority, on their unmeasurable powers of divination of customer behavior. They come up with dozens of possible failure cases, just to justify their more complex solution. They get married to their ideas and never let go, irrespective of what’s learned.

They say “trust me, I know what I’m doing”, “no, that won’t work” and “let’s just do it my way this time”. They breed self-doubt and disempowerment.

Then there are the ones who want to learn. They’ve realized that when you’re first building something, chances are you’ll be wrong about at least a couple things — and try to identify them early on. They try to keep projects simple, so they can be tested fast, even if they have obvious holes. They maximize their opportunity for learning, by focusing on the problem at hand, and not on who came up with the solution or how it matches the initial big idea.

They can still have a bold vision, and they still listen to their gut, but they’re open to being wrong and eager to find out what will work for their audience.

They say “this is what worked for me before, would you be up for trying it?” and “which option would let us learn faster?”. They breed progress and are fun to hang around.

These days I just try to surround myself with people who are open to being wrong (even if they’re right most of the time), and above all interested in learning the truth, whatever it may be. I interview candidates looking for that heart-warming balance of experience and humility, and only invest in friendships with people who are willing to review previously held ideas. And I try to constantly revise what are facts and what are simply my own assumptions.

What about you? Would you rather be right, or would you rather learn the truth?

 

 

Your kindly Donations would be so effective in order to fulfill our future research and endeavors – Thank you
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