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7 Ways To Become More Mentally Immune And Emotionally Resilient

Mental immunity is the foundation of emotional resilience.

The same way in which a cold or flu can derail the health of someone who is already ill, a small setback or troubling thought can do the same to someone who is not “mentally immune.” Mental immunity is what happens when we condition our minds to not only expect fearful thoughts or external challenges, but to tolerate them when they arise. It is shifting one’s objective in life from avoiding pain to building meaning, recognizing that pain will be some part of the journey regardless.

Mental immunity is not being able to resist or deny negative thoughts, it is being able to observe them without acting on them, or automatically believing they represent reality.

uncaptionedWhen we have mental immunity, we are able to become a third party observer to our thoughts and feelings. We can identify what we need, what we don’t want, and what really matters to us. Through the process of reintegration – or nonresistance – we become more capable of tolerating thoughts that scare us. The less reactive we are to them, the more we can learn. Frequently, there is an unhealed root association with recurring thoughts we have, or feelings that keep coming up. Being able to process these uncomfortable sensations will not only help us overcome singular issues but progress our lives forward in other ways, too.

So, we know that mental immunity is good, but when we are in the thick of our suffering, how do we begin to build it?

Today In: Leadership

1. Adopt an attitude of progress, not perfection.

Aiming for even a 1% improvement in your behavior or coping mechanisms each day is more effective than trying to radically revolutionize your life for one reason only: the former is actually attainable.

2. Be careful not to identify with that which you struggle.

A lot of people who have spent their lives struggling with anxiety begin to assume that it is just part of their personality. “I am an anxious person,” or similar phrases, are common but not necessarily true. Adopting an idea about yourself into your identity means that you believe it is who you fundamentally are, which makes it significantly more difficult to change.

3. Stop trying to eradicate fear.

Expect the fearful thought, but recognize that it is not always reflective of reality.

4. Interpret “weird” or upsetting thoughts as symbols, not realities.

If you are afraid of driving in the car by yourself, or losing a job, or being stuck in some kind of natural disaster, consider what that could represent in your life (perhaps you feel as though you are disconnected from loved ones, or that you are “unsafe” in some way). Most of these are trying to direct you to make a change, so honor them.

5. Be willing to see change.

When people struggle with something for long periods of time, there can be a resistance to seeing anything change, simply because of the length of time it has been going on. The willingness to see something change actually begins to change it. If you can do nothing else in a day, say out loud: I am willing to see this change. 

6. Imagine what you would do with your life if fear were no object. 

That is what you should be doing now. Focusing too much on trying to “get over” something actually reinforces it. It keeps us in the space of being broken. Learning to refocus on what matter is what actually gets us to move on.

7. Be present.

Everything in your life that is sabotaging you is the product of being unwilling to be present. We shop, spend, eat, drink, dream and plan our way out of the present moment constantly, which means that we never confront the feelings that we are carrying around. Being present is essential for developing mental strength and emotional health, because it allows us to actually respond to our thoughts and feelings in real time, and to confront that which unnerves us before we adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms to eradicate it.

The subconscious mind believes whatever it feels to be true. Therefore, it is easy for us to program ourselves to be subconsciously convinced that we are inadequate, in danger, or unloved. Mental immunity is what happens when we bring those ideas to the forefront of our consciousness and debunk them by marrying our feelings with reason.

Consistently reminding ourselves that a spectrum of feeling is healthy and helpful and letting go of the idea that overcoming something means eradicating it, rather than learning to act in spite of it, will help us to inch toward the lives we aspire to, rather than succumb to being victims of our own minds.

Source: 7 Ways To Become More Mentally Immune And Emotionally Resilient

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7 Reasons Mental Health Issues And Financial Issues Tend to Go Hand-in-Hand (And It Has Nothing to Do With the Cost of Treatment)

Of course, it comes as no surprise that most people who walk into my therapy office are experiencing psychological distress in one form or another. But, the vast majority of those individuals are also experiencing financial distress.

It’s no coincidence. Research shows financial issues and mental health problems often go hand-in-hand.

One study found that individuals with depression and anxiety were three times more likely to be in debt. Other studies have even found a link between debt and suicide.

A slight decline in mental health (long before you’d meet the criteria for a diagnosable mental illness) can be linked to increased financial stress. And increased stress can lead to poorer mental health.

Think of psychological well-being as a continuum. On one end of the spectrum is mental health. On the other end is mental illness.

You fall somewhere on the spectrum–and it’s likely to change slightly from day to day depending on a variety of factors, such as your physical health, sleep quality, nutrition, exercise level, stress, and overall mood.

If your mental health stays in a poor state for a length of time–or it just continues declining–you’re at increased risk for financial problems as well. Here’s how poorer mental health can take a toll on your financial situation:

1. Life Feels Out of Control

When you feel as though you’re losing control over your mood and your thoughts, you’ll likely begin to feel as though life is out of control too–especially your financial life.

You may even lose hope about a brighter future. And who wants to save for a big purchase or put money away for retirement when life feels as though it’s spinning out of control. You might feel like the one thing you can control is your ability to buy something right now.

2. You’re More Likely to Avoid Problems

It takes a lot of concentration and fortitude to tackle a tall stack of bills or to call the credit card company to address your late payment.

And of course, sitting down to create a budget creates high anxiety and it’s often painful to face the facts. It’s much more tempting to avoid those sorts of problems when you aren’t feeling your best.

3. You Get Desperate for Temporary Relief

When you’re in pain, you’ll do almost anything to get out of it–even if it’s going to hurt you more in the long-term. It’s one of the reasons the term “retail therapy” was invented.

Buying something right now, whether it’s a new pair of shoes or a car you can’t afford, will give you momentary pleasure. But, there’s a good chance it will create more financial distress in the long-term.

4. Self-Esteem Plummets

Quite often, the worse you feel, the worse you feel about yourself. And that can lead many people to try and overcompensate.

Low self-esteem can cause someone to buy expensive clothing, a name brand watch, or even a luxury car in an attempt to project an image of success.

5. Energy Levels Decrease

A decline in mental health often means poorer quality sleep, increased feelings of fatigue, and more trouble staying on task.

All of those things make it much more difficult to think about paying off debt–let alone take action. And it’s hard to create a plan for the bigger overall picture when you aren’t in the right state of mind.

6. Unhealed Wounds May Come Back to Haunt You

When you’re feeling down, your brain will recall all the other times when you felt similar feelings–and those just might be the lowest points in your life. Quite often, emotional wounds that never healed get re-opened as your mental health declines.

And for many people, that leads to changes in financial habits. A father who was teased for not having nice things as a kid may overspend on his children to prevent them from experiencing the same pain. Or, an individual who has never felt good enough might take out a bigger loan than she can afford in an attempt to get the attention she craves.

7. It’s Tough to Think Clearly

It can be hard to think about your grocery list, let alone your financial future when your mental health is on the decline. Making decisions, planning ahead, and organizing your financial situation may feel like an uphill battle that you’re unequipped to fight.

How to Improve Your Mental Health

Fortunately, there are steps you can take to improve your mental health–which can also improve your financial health.

Taking care of your body with adequate sleep, exercise and nutrition, socializing with supportive people, engaging in leisure activities (even when you don’t feel like it) and setting aside time to take care of your needs (like managing your budget) can help improve your psychological well-being.

If you’re struggling to build mental strength, get professional help. You might start by talking to your doctor to rule out physical health issues that might be behind your symptoms (like a thyroid problem). Then, you might try talking to a therapist who can help you identify concrete strategies for feeling better fast.

By: Amy Morin

Source: 7 Reasons Mental Health Issues And Financial Issues Tend to Go Hand-in-Hand (And It Has Nothing to Do With the Cost of Treatment)

People with financial issues are more likely to suffer from mental health problems. The opposite can be said as well – People with mental health problems are three times as likely to be in debt. Guy Shone from Explain The Market says, “One in four are likely to suffer from mental health problems this year. And this is largely associated with financial issues.” In this segment, Shone explains how we could break the vicious cycle of financial issues and mental health problems. Shone talks about ‘Money and Mental Health’, a private body that puts problems faced by individuals in front of industries and attempts to break the vicious cycle. Tip TV Finance is a daily finance show based in Belgravia, London. Tip TV Finance prides itself on being able to attract the very highest quality guests on the show to talk markets, economics, trading and investing, keeping our audience informed via insightful and actionable infotainment. The Tip TV Daily Finance Show covers all asset classes ranging from currencies (forex), equities, bonds, commodities, futures and options. Guests share their high conviction market opportunities, covering fundamental, technical, inter-market and quantitative analysis, with the aim of demystifying financial markets for viewers at home. See More At: www.tiptv.co.uk Twitter: @OfficialTipTV Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/officialtiptv

Three Ways To Fight The Stigma Of Mental Illness

People struggling with mental illness, from the mildest and most routine to the intractable and utterly devastating, are also burdened by the stereotypes and prejudices of stigmatization. The stigma of mental illness interferes with getting needed care and causes social isolation and alienation. This is not how things should be. Instead, people with emotional, cognitive and behavioral problems, regardless of whether the causes are external traumas or circumstances, internal events, or some combination, should be given the same respect and access to treatment as someone dealing with a mild sprain, a flu, or a life-threatening cancer. Healthcare should be healthcare. But it’s not. And stigmatization is largely to blame.

Everyone has a stake in fighting stigmatization. With around 1 in 5 Americans suffering from a mental illness over the course of a year, chances are pretty good you either are, have been, or are close to someone bearing the burden by stigma. The fight to reduce that burden really should involve everyone. So, after some context, I want to talk about three ways anyone can join the fight.

The context of stigma

Regardless of good intentions, people tend to perceive anyone whose psychological problems are worse than one’s own as “them” and not “us.” They are “other.” For the really serious problems there tends to be a perception of people as dangerous and deserving social isolation; we should “lock ‘em up!” People with milder conditions often confront a “weak-not-sick” attitude; they should “just get over it.”

These stereotypes help create social and emotional distance between the stigmatizing and the stigmatized. By creating this distance people can nurture the comforting fiction that instead of a fine line there’s a large gap between the mentally ill (them!) and the mentally well (us, whew!!). But that’s a myth. The line is very fine. They is us.

Sure, people differ in how psychologically resilient they may be, just like how people differ in how physically resilient they may be. But the fundamental reality about mental illness is that it can, and often does, happen to anyone. The social and emotional distance people create is just a way to avoid the anxious-making reality that things like depression, anxiety, emotional dysregulation, behavioral disorders, and the rest can strike anyone. Just like with physical illnesses where a wayward cell or pathogen can strike anyone, mental illness can strike anyone anywhere. We take illusory comfort from the distance stigma creates.

Stigma is insidious. A recent experience from my clinical practice illustrates the burden of stigmatization people with a mental illness must carry. A young man shows up at the ER complaining of an unusual set of symptoms: nausea, trembling, tingling in his legs, numbness around his mouth, and weakness in his hands. He also had an extensive history of mental illness, although he was psychiatrically asymptomatic at the time of this visit and doing very well.

But after the ER doc learned of this history, he quickly sent the patient home with a vague reassurance not worry since it was probably just a panic attack. Of course, it wasn’t. Happily he’s now under the care of an excellent neurologist and making progress. But this episode shows stigma’s insidious influence in stark relief.

Stigmatization is also pervasive. It has a broad social reach. Just consider the marketing campaigns of companies like Talkspace and Betterhelp who broke into the mental health marketplace with promises of anonymous therapy. Leaving aside the problem that anonymous therapy violates various codes of professional ethics, the promise of anonymity as an initial marketing ploy both builds on and enhances the stigmatization against which we should all be fighting.

It cynically trades on the pervasiveness of stigmatization, otherwise it wouldn’t work. What they did is like confronting racial bigotry by saying people should just try to pass or telling a gay person they should stay in the closet. Anonymity validates the prejudice that one should keep secret one’s struggles with mental health.

The fact that this marketing ploy appealed to so many, and it did, also highlights what’s called in the literature “self-stigma.” That’s the term used to refer to the fact that people internalize stigmatization so that it functions as an obstacle to seeking help and therefore as a magnifier of suffering. For example, one study of college students showed that the more people perceive stigma operating in the world the more they blame themselves for having problems and the more they resist seeking care. Other people’s prejudices about mental illness became their attitudes toward their own suffering and towards seeking help.

There’s actually lots more to say about stigma. There’s even an official APA journal specifically on the topic: Stigma and Health. But hopefully this has been enough to activate interest and maybe motivate at last some action. At least I hope you agree the fight against stigma is worth some attention. Here are three things anyone can do to join the fight.

Support an organization

There are lots of organizations taking the fight to stigma, both generally and for specific communities, like groups fighting the stigma on mental health care that exists in Asian American communities.. A great way to lessen the burden stigma imposes is by finding an organization that resonates with you and then supporting it.

But be careful, you don’t want to get caught in the paradox of choice so you end up doing nothing. Don’t over think. Instead, dive in and be helpful. Whether you donate money or time, or express support in some way, find an organization that speaks to you and support it.

Here are two stigma-fighting organizations I support.

The first is a group called “Phd Balance.” Graduate student mental health is their focus. Their mission is to show that students pursuing advanced academic degrees who are, quoting their mission statement, “dealing with mental health issues are NOT less capable, are NOT less intelligent, are NOT less creative, are NOT failures … [they] might just need support and a different set of tools.”

They pursue this mission by creating spaces where mental health issues can be openly and safely discussed and by curating resources that can be useful for those pursing both an advanced degree and a healthy balance in their lives. As a former graduate student myself, and someone who now treats and works with several people pursuing doctorates, this groups resonates with my interests and values. So, I want to help them achieve their goals. They have my support.

The other organization is The Ride for Mental Health. Started by an attorney, Malcom (“Mac”) Dorris who lost his son to an intractable and ultimately fatal mental illness, this event is a two day bike-ride through the Hudson Valley in New York. Its mission is both to raise funds for research (McLean Hospital’s research programs being the current beneficiary) and, quoting their mission statement, “to end the stigma surrounding mental illness through education and awareness.” I’ve ridden all three years of this growing event and am already looking forward, and spreading the work, about next year’s ride. Not only is it a wonderful ride on gorgeous roads, participation is a way to do good by having fun.

Tell your story

Stigma lives in darkness, in shame. Bringing stories of struggle into the light weakens it. The social distance and self-stigma that comes from the “them not us” myth can’t survive people telling the story of how they, or their loved ones, experienced emotional suffering. Truth destroys stigma.

Truth telling is actually how Phd Balance began. Its efforts to “increase visibility and awareness for students and to let those struggling know they are not alone” began with Susanna Harris, the founder and a graduate student in microbiology, telling her story of depression and anxiety in a moving video monologue. Sinking into a depression after an academic setback, she spoke up about the experience rather than hiding in silence. Phd Balance grew out of her courage and she has inspired many more to do the same.

I also had an email exchange with Mac Dorris from The Ride for Mental Health about this. He told me that after his son Eric died he “suddenly had a key to everyone else’s story or stories about mental illness.” He recounted being at a business dinner and telling Eric’s story to a new business associate who “responded by telling me that he lost his brother years earlier under very similar circumstances.”

He also shared a story about a colleague of his who had previously lost a son to what was called an unusual heart aliment. When he called Mac to express condolences for Eric’s death “I told him that I was sorry I had joined the club of having a kid pre-decease us. He then explained that his son didn’t die from the heart ailment but from an accidental overdose and that he suffered with mental illness.”

Stories brought to light reduce shame. And one person’s story really can be the key to unlock someone else’s story from the shackles of shame and stigma.

Stop perpetuating it

This one is simple; don’t make things worse. If you insult someone by saying they’re “crazy” or “nuts” you’re inadvertently perpetuating stigma. Same when you judge someone to be “less than” because you found out they’ve been in therapy of years and years. There’s even research showing that even benign, diagnostically accurate labels result in harsher, more negative judgements.

Unfortunately, mental illness is frequently used to explain bad behavior. Instead of describing a mass shooter as a murderer with too easy access to weapons of war, we make them into mental patients as though the illness explains the evil. It doesn’t, any more than one could say someone became a mass murderer because of their diabetes.

We have a particularly pernicious version of this these days. During the Trump presidency mental health professionals have unfortunately fallen into the stigma-supporting trap of explaining his bad behavior with a diagnosis. I firmly believe there are many things that make him unfit for the office such as his racism, history of sexual predation, constant dishonesty, science denial, invitations for Russian election interference and subsequent obstruction, family separations, and historical ignorance, especially about immigration, to name a few.

Just this week he stood in front of an audience of 9/11 first responders and lied about his participation. Of course, your politics may be such that you do not think such reasons disqualify him. OK, difference of opinion. But saying those qualities are symptoms of a mental illness will not convince anyone of his unfitness. I believe the reality is that a mental illness is not what is making him unfit for the office, anymore than someone with a mental illness is unfit to be a lawyer, a plumber, a teacher or any other job or profession. What makes him unfit is how he does what he does, a constellation of evil actions that spells the end of the American experiment. I believe we should not insult people with mental illness by implying it is illness rather than his dishonorable actions that make him unfit for his office. Doing so merely supports the stigma.

And always remember, they is us.

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I’m a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst. For 20 plus years I’ve been practicing on 12th Street, around the corner from what used to be the Forbes Building and right in the middle of New York’s digital revolutions. Having written for professional audiences and become a not infrequent source (e.g., Wired, New York, NY Times, The Today Show) I decided to put my ideas out there myself. First at True/Slant, then Psychology Today, and now at Forbes, my “beat” includes clinical insights and research developments useful for building an authentically good life in our increasingly complex and technologically-mediated world, along with identifying those choices that promise more than they can deliver. Along with my full-time private practice I’m a Training and Supervising Psychoanalyst at the William Alanson White Institute.

Source: Three Ways To Fight The Stigma Of Mental Illness

We Need to Talk More About Mental Health at Work – Morra Aarons-Mele

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Alyssa Mastromonaco is no stranger to tough conversations: she served as White House deputy chief of staff for operations under President Obama, was an executive at Vice and A&E, and is Senior Advisor and spokesperson at NARAL Pro-Choice America. So when Mastromonaco switched to a new antidepressant, she decided to tell her boss. “I told the CEO that I was on Zoloft and was transitioning to Wellbutrin,” Mastromonaco said. “I can react strongly to meds, so I was worried switching would shift my mood and wanted her to know why…….

Read more: https://hbr.org/2018/11/we-need-to-talk-more-about-mental-health-at-work

 

 

 

 

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