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Stop Thinking Quitting Is A Bad Thing

You have to stop thinking of quitting as a bad thing. You aren’t built to stay in the same place forever.

If your relationship or your career or your friendships have stopped challenging you, stopped encouraging your growth, stopped bringing you happiness, then you should move onto bigger and better things.

You don’t have to continue down the same path you started forging years ago. You’re allowed to diverge at any point. You’re allowed to decide it’s time to do something differently.

You have to remember that quitting isn’t always a negative. It doesn’t mean you’re taking a step back. It might mean you’re taking a step forward — or a step sideways.

You shouldn’t resist change simply because you’re scared of what the unknown might bring. You shouldn’t assume the best move is to continue chugging ahead, even though you’ve been miserable, even though you cannot picture things getting any better if they keep going the way they’ve been going.

Quitting is not always a sign of failure. Sometimes, it’s your best option. Sometimes, it’s going to lead to the best results.

If you’re in a toxic relationship, you shouldn’t waste your energy fighting for their love. You should call it quits. You should stop trying to make things work. You should stop giving them a million chances. You should stop assuming it’s better to stay together than it is to split apart.

It’s the same with your career. If you’re in a line of work that is draining you, that is making you miserable, that isn’t giving you any sort of satisfaction, then you should think about quitting. You should think about taking your talents elsewhere. You should think about whether there is somewhere else you could land that would make you feel more productive, more fulfilled, more appreciated.

Stop thinking of quitting as a bad thing because sometimes you have to walk away from your current situation. Sometimes you have to start from scratch. Sometimes you have to take a step back and realize that you’re heading in the wrong direction and need to regroup.

Even though it’s easier to repeat the routines you’ve already grown used to repeating, you have to remember you’re allowed to leave at any time. You don’t owe anyone anything.

It’s dangerous to stay in an uncomfortable situation out of obligation. You aren’t required to stay in a relationship because of your history. You aren’t required to stay at a job because of the hours you already put into it. You aren’t required to give anyone your time, your energy, or your effort — and you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.

You’re allowed to quit because you’re stressed about your current situation. You’re allowed to quit because you’ve grown bored. You’re allowed to quit because you believe another direction would grant you more peace and excitement and self-love. You’re allowed to quit if you want to quit.

You have to stop thinking of quitting as a bad thing. If it helps, call it moving on instead.

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By: Holly Riordan

 

 

 

Source: Stop Thinking Quitting Is A Bad Thing

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Why You Should Stop Trying to Find Your Soulmate & What to Do Instead – Annabel Gutterman

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Hollywood, romance novels, picture-perfect depictions of relationships on social media: It’s all-too-easy to believe in soulmates. But while nearly two-thirds of American adults believe in them, according to a 2017 Monmouth University poll, psychology professor Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. says the term ‘soulmate’ can be dangerous. It can connote perfectionism — and perfection in relationships is essentially unattainable. “If you believe in soulmates, then you are less likely to work through [problems] because this person was supposed to be perfect and everything was supposed to be easy……..

Read more: http://time.com/5425170/stop-trying-to-find-soulmate/

 

 

 

 

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Why Are We All Having So Little Sex – Belinda Luscombe

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Matt, a 34-year-old data analyst from Texas, and his wife dated for seven years before getting married in 2013. When they didn’t live together, they had sex every time they saw each other. After they moved in, however, he says things changed. Their sex life became inconsistent. They’d have a really active week and then a month with nothing, or just one at-bat. It began to hurt their relationship. At one point early in their marriage, Matt’s wife got pregnant, but they weren’t sure the marriage was going to make it, so they terminated the pregnancy………

Read more: http://time.com/5297145/is-sex-dead/

 

 

 

 

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When You Are Unhappy In a Relationship, Why Do You Stay? The Answer May Surprise You – Samantha Joel

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Why do people stay in unsatisfying romantic relationships? A new study suggests it may be because they view leaving as bad for their partner. The study, being published in the November 2018 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, explored the possibility that people deciding whether to end a relationship consider not only their own desires but also how much they think their partner wants and needs the relationship to continue……

Read more: https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-10-unhappy-relationship.html?utm_source=tabs&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=story-tabs

 

 

 

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How to Support a Partner Struggling with Depression – Eric Ravenscraft

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Being in a romantic relationship when one (or both) of you suffer from depression is a massive challenge. Depression can make your partner seem distant. They may feel like they’re a burden or close themselves off. None of that means your relationship is the problem. You two can tackle this together. Here’s how…..

Read more: https://lifehacker.com/how-to-support-a-partner-struggling-with-depression-1717700336

 

 

 

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How Can You Improve Your Empathy? 3 Science-Backed Techniques To Help You Feel More In Tune With Those Around You – JR Thorpe

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Few people would disagree that empathy is a good thing to have. But for some people, the ability to “feel” or share in the emotions of others, and understand them as if you were experiencing them yourself, doesn’t come naturally. And while it’s been suggested that this feeling is what makes us “truly human,” it’s OK if you want to improve your empathy.

Empathy is not only useful as a human emotion in and of itself; it can also help us become better listeners, managers, partners, and even increase our happiness as a result. What’s most interesting, though, is the emerging theory that empathy can in fact be learned. It’s not static; you can actually make yourself more empathic.

How empathic are you to begin with? There are a variety of tests available to assess how much you identify with others, but one of the most popular is the Empathy Quotient or EQ, which was developed in 2004 and consists of 60 questions you have to rate, such as, “I can tell if someone is masking their true emotion.”

Being too highly empathic can also have its difficulties; for one, it makes it nearly impossible to watch movies based on cringe humor, but for another, it can mean that your own emotions become clouded by what other people are thinking and feeling. If you’d like to increase your empathy a bit, though, science has some ways to help out.

1. Hang Out With Strangers More

In 2015, a group of Swiss scientists confirmed what might seem relatively obvious: humans learn more empathy when we spend time hanging out with new people. Having positive experiences with social groups that have different experiences than we do helps break down the idea that our experiences are different at all, and creates a better link with others.

 

2 . Experience Stress For Yourself

For a long time, it was assumed that all stress made people react in ways that got them away from the stressful situation, either by retreating into themselves, battling it head-on, or running away. Now, however, we know that a specific kind of stress doesn’t follow this pattern; instead of prompting people to hide away from others to protect itself, it seems to cause an increase in empathy.

A study in 2017 found that when you’re stressed out doing a task (and are told you’re doing it wrong), your brain’s “empathic circuit,” which helps you imagine the pain and emotions of others and connect them to your own feelings, show more activity. In the study, 60 male undergrads were put through a stressful test while being given negative feedback, and then shown images of other people undergoing a painful procedure.

The more stressed they’d been by the process, the more empathetic the subjects felt towards the people in the images, even though they were strangers. The study shows that just undergoing a kind of stress, even if it’s a different experience than the person you’re hoping to empathize with is undergoing, can help you build more empathy — so it’s not as simple as going through the same thing as someone else.

 

3. Make More Friends — And Go Through It Together

An experiment at McGill in 2015 found that our sense of empathy has a literal effect on our experience of pain. In the experiment, people were asked to put their arms into ice water in the presence of others doing the same, either strangers or friends, and rate their discomfort. Oddly, when friends were doing the same experiment, people rated their own pain as higher — not because empathy is painful, but because when we empathize more with someone, such as a friend, it seems to make us literally feel (or believe we feel) other peoples’ pain.

However, it didn’t take very much for an empathetic bond (measurable by the response to discomfort) to form. Just 15 minutes playing a video game with strangers changed them into people who could literally feel each others’ pain — thanks to empathy.

Lesson: to increase a sense of empathy, it’s important to be open to new experiences, both the good and the bad. Your friends, family, and partners — as well as the strangers who will one day become friends — will thank you.

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When It Comes To Success In Business, EQ Eats IQ For Breakfast – Chris Myers

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When I was younger, I bought into the fallacy that the “smartest” person always won. I pushed myself to achieve the highest scores, earn the most recognition, and excel in every field.

I worked as hard as I could, but I almost always fell short of my goals.

Growing up, I often found myself surrounded by people who were smarter and far more talented than I could ever hope to be.

This left me feeling as though I was destined for a life of mediocrity, forever destined to live in the shadows of others.

Despite this, I always seemed to excel in the workplace. Throughout my career, from my first internship to my stint in corporate America, I managed to gain the trust and respect of my managers and peers.

As I climbed the proverbial ladder, many of the peers who were undoubtedly smarter than me jeered. They claimed that the people I worked for were idiots and that I was merely lucky. Still, I continued to move forward much to their chagrin.

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately, as I’m working to find the right school for my son, Jack.

Jack, it turns out, is exceptionally bright. With an IQ of 145, he’s in the top percentile of intelligence in a traditional sense.

You’d think that having such raw intellectual horsepower would make life easy for him, but it’s quite the opposite. He has all of the typical emotional challenges of a normal seven year old, and then some.

While his IQ is high, his EQ or emotional quotient, is lower than average. As a father, it’s my job to try to raise as well rounded of an individual as possible, and that’s why I spend so much time trying to nurture his EQ.

It turns out, success in both life and business is a matter of emotion, relationships, and character, rather than raw intelligence. In fact, throughout my career, I’ve learned three facts that every successful person seems to remember.

EQ trumps IQ   

Maya Angelou once remarked, that “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

This certainly holds true in the realm of business. People buy emotions, not products. Teams rally around missions, not directives. Entrepreneurs take on incredible challenges because of passion, not logic.

Fortune follows people who demonstrate a high degree of emotional intelligence, or EQ. While IQ might be largely determined by genetics, EQ can be learned, developed, and refined.

Individuals with high EQ can speak to the soul of another person and ultimately influence their behavior. In the workplace, EQ trumps IQ every day of the week.

Humility goes a long way  

Human beings crave status and recognition above just about all else. This is especially apparent in the workplace, where many buy into the belief that self-promotion is the path to success.

I’ve found that the opposite is true. Humility, it turns out, is central to success.

Everybody falls at some point. You stay humble so that the people around you want to help you up, not knock you back down.

As a leader, I’ve found that people who demonstrate humility in thought, word, and deed tend to rise quickly inside of an organization because people are naturally inclined to help them succeed.

Arrogant, entitled, and prideful employees, on the other hand, tend to fail rather spectacularly. They may be smart, but they’re unable to garner any loyalty from the people around them.

It all comes down to grit

Perhaps the most important factor in determining success is grit.

Grit is just another word for strength of character. An individual or team who displays grit is someone who can take a hit and just keep on going, no matter what.

It’s this resilience that enables successful teams to avoid the pitfalls of depression, lethargy, and apathy that people tend to run into when faced with adversity.

As I look back on my career to-date, I can honestly say that I never gave up. I pivoted and evolved, but I never capitulated.

Many highly intelligent individuals are so afraid of failure and hardship that they never take risks. Instead, they sit back, comfortable and safe while others drive the world forward.

These trailblazers stumble, fall, and fail more than their more risk-averse counterparts, but grit keeps them moving forward.

As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

Nothing is simple 

My advice to  my son, as well as the students, friends, and team members I mentor is always the same: nothing in this life is simple.

It doesn’t matter how smart you are. What matters is how you’re able to connect, understand, and inspire other people.

Never think too highly of yourself just because you’re smart. In the end, it’s the people who understand feelings, not facts, who win the day.

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Relationship Matters – Love Is More Than Luck

Learn how to identify your wants and needs, get clarity, and get focused in the Right Direction, so you can move forward positively. This teaches you how to edit your life script and relationship script, and rewrite one that is fun, rewarding, and filled with love, joy, and passion. This is fun, because you and your partner can do this together.

Here’s What You’re Getting:

  • You’ll learn how to Stop your partner from Cheating, how to avoid an affair, and why people have affairs, so you can put the Love and Passion back into your relationship.
  • You gain the Courage to end a Destructive Relationship, and Survive a Break-Up or an Affair without Losses… So you won’t loose your self-respect, honor, integrity, career, home, or family
  • We’ll take a look at the lies and the lives hiding behind the spouse who’s cheating, as well as that of the lover, and their personalities, character, and desires, so you can use this to positively benefit your life.
  • You’ll get a look at the Ten Types of players who cheat and play and play the Married Dating Game.  These same players will cheat at home, work, or with friends. Learning to recognize them, will keep you or your partner from ending up with a broken heart, bank account, or marriage
  • You will get the clarity and confidence to be discerning, and stand up for what’s Right for You!  You’ll lean  how to forgive and turn your relationship around… or know when to turn and walk away.
  • You’ll learn how to create an authentic relationship built on love and trust; and how to release the pain of the past, so you can Forgive and move forward positively
  • Learn the importance of protecting the assets you love (person assets, your heart, self-confidence, children, and more) and how
  • You’ll learn a technique to create a new vision for your life and relationship. You will write a new script for your life and relationship. This is fun
  • You’ll learn how to express the goddess in you and find the lover you’ve longed for in your partner; and how to Create a Lifetime of Love, Joy, and Passion with your partner.

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This teaches you how to edit your life script and relationship script, and rewrite one that is fun, rewarding, and filled with love, joy, and passion. This is fun, because you and your partner can do this together!

It is important to take the initiative to protect the assets you love! This means protecting your financial assets and property, as well as your children, pets, self-esteem. talents, and your heart!

We also provide corporate solutions to employee disputes through corporate mediation, staff counselling and Emergenetics workshops and team building programmes.

However difficult it may seem now, at Relationship Matters we believe that it is possible to find a way to talk and be heard, to discover and rediscover connections, build and rebuild stronger relationships and learn to communicate in ways that enhance our sense of ourselves and our relationships with the people around us.

We understand that anger, hurt and emotional distance can make talking feel impossible. We are skilled in bringing people together. Choose our guide if you are a couple who are suffering from a breakdown in communication, drifting apart or devastated by a betrayal and would benefit from couples counselling, a neutral third party to offer mediation or a couples workshop.

 

 

It Was Never Love – Mental Hacks About The Bad Relationships

It wasn’t love, and It was never love, but the scariest part about it, is that I thought that it was.

via It Was Never Love — Scattered Scripturient

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