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Stop Thinking Quitting Is A Bad Thing

You have to stop thinking of quitting as a bad thing. You aren’t built to stay in the same place forever.

If your relationship or your career or your friendships have stopped challenging you, stopped encouraging your growth, stopped bringing you happiness, then you should move onto bigger and better things.

You don’t have to continue down the same path you started forging years ago. You’re allowed to diverge at any point. You’re allowed to decide it’s time to do something differently.

You have to remember that quitting isn’t always a negative. It doesn’t mean you’re taking a step back. It might mean you’re taking a step forward — or a step sideways.

You shouldn’t resist change simply because you’re scared of what the unknown might bring. You shouldn’t assume the best move is to continue chugging ahead, even though you’ve been miserable, even though you cannot picture things getting any better if they keep going the way they’ve been going.

Quitting is not always a sign of failure. Sometimes, it’s your best option. Sometimes, it’s going to lead to the best results.

If you’re in a toxic relationship, you shouldn’t waste your energy fighting for their love. You should call it quits. You should stop trying to make things work. You should stop giving them a million chances. You should stop assuming it’s better to stay together than it is to split apart.

It’s the same with your career. If you’re in a line of work that is draining you, that is making you miserable, that isn’t giving you any sort of satisfaction, then you should think about quitting. You should think about taking your talents elsewhere. You should think about whether there is somewhere else you could land that would make you feel more productive, more fulfilled, more appreciated.

Stop thinking of quitting as a bad thing because sometimes you have to walk away from your current situation. Sometimes you have to start from scratch. Sometimes you have to take a step back and realize that you’re heading in the wrong direction and need to regroup.

Even though it’s easier to repeat the routines you’ve already grown used to repeating, you have to remember you’re allowed to leave at any time. You don’t owe anyone anything.

It’s dangerous to stay in an uncomfortable situation out of obligation. You aren’t required to stay in a relationship because of your history. You aren’t required to stay at a job because of the hours you already put into it. You aren’t required to give anyone your time, your energy, or your effort — and you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.

You’re allowed to quit because you’re stressed about your current situation. You’re allowed to quit because you’ve grown bored. You’re allowed to quit because you believe another direction would grant you more peace and excitement and self-love. You’re allowed to quit if you want to quit.

You have to stop thinking of quitting as a bad thing. If it helps, call it moving on instead.

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By: Holly Riordan

 

 

 

Source: Stop Thinking Quitting Is A Bad Thing

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Researchers turn to newlywed couples to unravel questions about the chemistry of empathy and bonding

Love can make us do crazy things. It often prompts us to behave in counterintuitive ways, like, for example, placing the wellbeing of our loved ones above our own. But why? Such has perplexed and intrigued scientists for centuries. A new study out of UC Santa Barbara explores how an individual’s genetics and brain activity correlate with altruistic behaviors directed toward romantic partners.

Source: Researchers turn to newlywed couples to unravel questions about the chemistry of empathy and bonding

How Can You Improve Your Empathy? 3 Science-Backed Techniques To Help You Feel More In Tune With Those Around You – JR Thorpe

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Few people would disagree that empathy is a good thing to have. But for some people, the ability to “feel” or share in the emotions of others, and understand them as if you were experiencing them yourself, doesn’t come naturally. And while it’s been suggested that this feeling is what makes us “truly human,” it’s OK if you want to improve your empathy.

Empathy is not only useful as a human emotion in and of itself; it can also help us become better listeners, managers, partners, and even increase our happiness as a result. What’s most interesting, though, is the emerging theory that empathy can in fact be learned. It’s not static; you can actually make yourself more empathic.

How empathic are you to begin with? There are a variety of tests available to assess how much you identify with others, but one of the most popular is the Empathy Quotient or EQ, which was developed in 2004 and consists of 60 questions you have to rate, such as, “I can tell if someone is masking their true emotion.”

Being too highly empathic can also have its difficulties; for one, it makes it nearly impossible to watch movies based on cringe humor, but for another, it can mean that your own emotions become clouded by what other people are thinking and feeling. If you’d like to increase your empathy a bit, though, science has some ways to help out.

1. Hang Out With Strangers More

In 2015, a group of Swiss scientists confirmed what might seem relatively obvious: humans learn more empathy when we spend time hanging out with new people. Having positive experiences with social groups that have different experiences than we do helps break down the idea that our experiences are different at all, and creates a better link with others.

 

2 . Experience Stress For Yourself

For a long time, it was assumed that all stress made people react in ways that got them away from the stressful situation, either by retreating into themselves, battling it head-on, or running away. Now, however, we know that a specific kind of stress doesn’t follow this pattern; instead of prompting people to hide away from others to protect itself, it seems to cause an increase in empathy.

A study in 2017 found that when you’re stressed out doing a task (and are told you’re doing it wrong), your brain’s “empathic circuit,” which helps you imagine the pain and emotions of others and connect them to your own feelings, show more activity. In the study, 60 male undergrads were put through a stressful test while being given negative feedback, and then shown images of other people undergoing a painful procedure.

The more stressed they’d been by the process, the more empathetic the subjects felt towards the people in the images, even though they were strangers. The study shows that just undergoing a kind of stress, even if it’s a different experience than the person you’re hoping to empathize with is undergoing, can help you build more empathy — so it’s not as simple as going through the same thing as someone else.

 

3. Make More Friends — And Go Through It Together

An experiment at McGill in 2015 found that our sense of empathy has a literal effect on our experience of pain. In the experiment, people were asked to put their arms into ice water in the presence of others doing the same, either strangers or friends, and rate their discomfort. Oddly, when friends were doing the same experiment, people rated their own pain as higher — not because empathy is painful, but because when we empathize more with someone, such as a friend, it seems to make us literally feel (or believe we feel) other peoples’ pain.

However, it didn’t take very much for an empathetic bond (measurable by the response to discomfort) to form. Just 15 minutes playing a video game with strangers changed them into people who could literally feel each others’ pain — thanks to empathy.

Lesson: to increase a sense of empathy, it’s important to be open to new experiences, both the good and the bad. Your friends, family, and partners — as well as the strangers who will one day become friends — will thank you.

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How To Get Your Mate Up Off The Couch & Running

Running is a great team sport.

Ever get asked by mates what the attraction to running is? Or maybe you’ve got a friend who’s shown interest in running and is ready to give it a try? As you know, starting isn’t easy, so here’s how to help them take their first steps, and stick with it.

Walk first

The saying goes that you must crawl before you walk. With running, you need to walk before you run.

 

 

While you may want to get your friend up and running, for a problem-free start they need to have spent at least two weeks walking, cycling or cross-training for around 30 minutes a few times a week. This helps to build aerobic fitness and strength.

Just because you can run non-stop for more than 30 minutes, doesn’t mean you should try to get your friend to do it. Get them to start running short bursts during their regular walks and gradually increase the time running so that it is double the time spent walking until they reach one hour of exercise.

Pick a program

Instead of winging it, pick an appropriate running program for your friend’s fitness goal. There are plenty of beginner programs designed to get anyone running five kilometres or 30 minutes.

The best ones maximise training results by running the right distance at the right pace on the right day; gradually increase anaerobic threshold with each run by matching running pace to current level; and set measurable goals. Some popular options are include My Asics, Nike+ Run Club, Couch to 5km app and Medibank’s 5km Training Guide.

Don’t ignore niggles

It’s normal to have some muscle soreness when people start running for the first time. Therefore, it’s not advisable to run on consecutive days. If your friend has pain that’s sharp or severe, or is being carried from one run into the next, encourage them to make an appointment with a qualified health practitioner such as a Sports Physiotherapist.

Get the gear

Running can be a very affordable sport and doesn’t require a lot of financial outlay. But a non-negotiable is a good pair of running shoes. Often newbies dust off their old runners that have seen better days

Be a good mate and take your friend shopping for a new pair of running kicks. Head to a shop that will analyse your friend’s running gait and help them to buy shoes that will support their new pursuit.

Break it up

Encourage your friend to take breaks. Once they’ve been running for a few weeks they might feel like ditching the walk breaks on their walk/run program. But it pays to take walking or drink breaks before they’re needed to prevent fatigue or going too hard too soon. Remind them that even endurance athletes take walk/run breaks.

Be there for the ups and downs

When starting something new, there are bound to be moments when things get hard. Maybe your friend has had a bad day, perhaps they’ve missed a training session or their last run felt horrible. We’ve all had those days, so be there for your mate. Share a story of your tough runs and remind them that it’s likely their next workout will be better than the last.

 

 

Introduce them to other runners

The running community is one of the best things about running so take time to introduce your friend to other runners who can motivate and encourage them to push on or keep them accountable if you’re not around. Be mindful that early on your friend may be self-conscious or intimidated by the thought of running with others. Make sure you choose a social running group like parkrun that welcomes runners of all abilities.

Be realistic

Don’t push your friend too hard. Let them gradually build their running fitness and encourage rest days. Most of all, don’t rush them as this can lead to momentum-crushing injuries. Use your slower recovery runs as a chance to join them for runs, and be patient. Remember that the goal is to help them transition to running, not hurt them.

Register for an event

Entering a running event together can be a great motivator. Seek out a five-kilometre fun run three months away from when your friend starts their training program. Choose a run with the help of runningcalendar.com.au.

The goal of one day completing an ultra-marathon inspires running fanatic Laura Hill to clock up the kilometres each week. With a day job in the corporate world, Laura loves nothing more than lacing up her runners and hitting the pavement to clear her mind and challenge her body.

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