How To Look After Your Relationship When Experiencing Fertility Issues

Why us? A question familiar to the never-ending plaguing thoughts of those struggling with fertility.

Couples will always face – and defeat – an onslaught of battles together. 

When it comes to trying for a family, these will come with intense strains that can push even the most stable of relationships into choppy waters and uncertainty.

And yes, epic fights that make you want to knock on the wall and apologise to the neighbours. Sorry pals, we’re trying for a baby, it’s all cool.

Infertility is arguably biggest test of all when it comes to relationships.

With lives suddenly going from romantic getaways, thrilling sex and fun nights out together, to ovulation monitoring, bird food dieting, scheduled, clinical intercourse and two week waits, things change forever.

What you thought would be an exciting journey together can quickly become something that threatens to bring toxicity into a safe space, one that always felt equipped to face the world.

Tensions and disappointments can lead to arguments and blame. Microaggressions such as implying that the glass of wine they had last month might be a factor in why this month hasn’t been the month, can seep in.

Neglect of things that used to be fun, exciting and loving can breed resentment and sap joy from life. This is not what you expected on that whirlwind first year together.

You thought that when you decided you want a baby, it would be full of rom-com type adventures and excuse to have sex after sex after sex. What could go wrong? Look, it doesn’t have to be this way.

My husband and I are in the middle of a very difficult attempt to have a child. The months have ticked by; and those months became years. There have been times when the pen could pretty much have been hovering over the divorce papers.

The clashes have been monumental, and the emotions have been raw and heartbreaking. But I have learnt a lot, and there are things I wish we had taken into account.

We naively entered this thinking it could only strengthen our relationship. And it can. But making the baby is only half the work; everything that goes with it demands just as much input.

‘Fertility struggles can have a profound effect on a couple’s relationship, with many couples experiencing anxiety and depression throughout their fertility journey,’ Victoria Jeffries, an accredited psychotherapist who specialises in infertility counselling, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Quite often, the shock of the inability to conceive a child as quickly and easily as expected gradually leads to feelings of guilt and sometimes even shame.

‘In my therapy practice, I have noticed that those struggling to conceive are often left experiencing an identity crisis; if I can’t be a parent, who will I be? Along with concerns for years to come; what does the future hold for me without children?’

It will be tough, and there will be days where you just want to punch your partner in the throat, but your relationship isn’t doomed because you have fertility struggles.

Nothing is. So how can you have a better fighting chance of sticking this out (and in) together, through thick and thin?

Knowing the facts together

It’s no secret that our basic high school sex education class did not prepare us for this.

In fact, it actively sought to prevent a baby: ‘Look at a boy and you will have ten babies and your life will be ruined, heathen.’

So, it’s no wonder the expanse of naivety when it comes to producing children, is wide. Like it or lump it, it goes without saying that women will know more about what is happening in their bodies, and some of what is needed, than their male counterparts.

This is where being on the same page matters. You can’t communicate or make plans if you don’t both know the score. There are many things I have learnt, both mentally and biologically; and the same for my husband.

So, get this out of the way. You will need to learn together, you will need to accept that explaining stuff to one another is not patronising, and you will need to suspend any embarrassment if you don’t know basic things.

If you’re going to be at it for every waking moment during a fertile window, checking discharges and depositing samples, there is no time for embarrassment.

It is absolutely imperative that you start this on equal footing and don’t judge one another for not knowing stuff; for a circle of life species that is, at its bare roots, supposedly designed for procreation, it isn’t half complicated to have a baby.

Researching and learning together is a valuable bonding exercise – and also leaves you prepared for the journey ahead.

Support

Ask anyone who is trying to conceive and they’ll tell you: this is not easy. All of those people who routinely quote stats that moving house is the most stressful thing a couple can go through together have clearly never heard of the two-week wait.

There is so much that goes into this; physically and emotionally. And as a couple, we need to be there for one another.

To that end, Victoria can’t emphasise enough the importance of mutual support as couples ride through what are understandably choppy waters.

‘It is important to remember it is perfectly normal to feel stressed, anxious and drained while going through this journey,’ she says.

‘These are valid feelings and are to be expected; it is an incredibly trying process after all.

‘This is why it is critical that you both show compassion to yourselves and each other, and allow yourself to feel what you feel.’

We all deal with disappointment differently. Understand what helps your partner and tell your partner what helps you.

If you are both coming from different places, but neither of you know what that place is, then you are going to fall out. You will be confused over why your partner is acting the way they are and, until they explain where they are at, it will just leave you bewildered and often angry that they aren’t approaching this like you are.

Scheduling regular times to just sit down and reflect, talk about things and get things off your chest – even if it involves a bicker – helps to break things down. When you ‘get’ someone, you validate their feelings, whether they are positive or negative.

And when someone feels validated, they can trust that they can open up again. With all relationships, this is important for survival. This is even more the case when you are on such an intense and emotion filled journey like this.

Humour

My husband and I laugh a lot; him being funny was the first and main attraction I felt. We have a shared dark humour and I swear, this is why we are still standing.

If you approach this with nothing but severity, it’s going to be a long journey packed with fights and resentment. Making a baby is an absolutely ridiculous and often slapstick (slapdick?) process.

I am not saying that you are going to be making quips when your period comes again, or slapping your thigh with laughter when some dodgy tests come back.

But in among it all, you have to laugh before you cry. You will do both, but the former is so vitally important for couples.

Budget

If you are in a relationship and you claim that you never argue about money, then you are a bare-faced liar.

Cashflow is the Achilles heel of so many couples. We have so much to thank the NHS for and, many tests and treatments, including some rounds of IVF, are covered.

But your outgoings when trying for a baby will increase. Annoyingly, eating healthily and nutritionally is more expensive than chicken nuggets and chips. Supplements are not cheap. You need to take things into account.

Before the money stress gets you, get ahead of the game. Modify the monthly budget together to take everything into account so there are no shocks.

If you are someone who didn’t budget before (aka me), then start now. No-one wants those Omega 3 capsules to drive a wedge between you before you even get to the nitty-gritty.

Prepare

There are so many outcomes and stages and together, you need to be as prepared as you can. 

A positive outlook is so important, but you also have to be realistic about the fact that during this, there will be days when you just want the ground to swallow you up.

There will be setbacks and you need to discuss how you will approach them if they come.

This is when you can identify what is going to hit one another the hardest and how you can then support each other.

If you feel your other half in this journey does not have your back in these moments, this is when things can get seriously sour.

Self-care and rewards

It’s going to challenge your mental health more than you think it will. So, things need to be broken up so your whole life as a couple isn’t just conceive, conceive, conceive.

Ensure you take time to just be together, even if nights out, special meals or weekends away are scheduled far in advance.

Make sure you still invest in your hobbies, together and apart. You still need to have conversations that don’t involve the words ‘ovulating’ and ‘well it says on Mumsnet…’.

Don’t beat yourselves or each other up if there is a day or two when you slip from the fertility diet and have a takeaway or a beer.

Count some blessings, but in a certain way. I hate nothing more than someone telling me ‘well at least you have each other’ or ‘it could be worse’, so any blessings are between yourselves, and not with the idea that you should want or deserve a baby less because you have nice things in life.

Nevertheless, it’s still important to enjoy what you have.

Reward yourselves and each other as you go. Acknowledge how hard this is and how many life changes you have adopted. This is hard work, so make sure you tell each other how proud you are.

Romantic gestures, little gifts or cards and most importantly, hugs and ‘I love you’s are imperative tools to keep you going.

Take a break

Have sex that is not just conceiving sex. When that window isn’t open, it doesn’t mean your legs can’t be. It’s amazing how many couples forget that sex has other upsides.

‘Trying for a baby’ sex is vastly different to ‘let’s have sex’ sex. You need to keep the spark alive and enjoy each other sometimes without the pressures that come with having those all important ovulation sessions.

And take a break from it all now and again. It’s exhausting, individually and as a couple. There is no shame in taking a month off and just recuperating and existing, remembering what a human life is outside of this. Taking a break is not failure, it’s a positive move to reflect and get ready to go again. It’s the most important holiday that you will ever have as a couple.

Everyone needs time off from work sometimes. This is work. Take that month’s leave and take it together. Like you wouldn’t check your emails, don’t check your ovulation strips or obsess over your discharge. One month won’t change anything.

Most importantly, even if you have to write it down, remember that the whole reason you want a baby together is that you love each other, and you want to expand your family to share that powerful feeling with someone you will both love unconditionally, together.

If you are torn apart, the whole motive for what has divided you is lost. It’s the easiest thing to forget but the most important thing to remember – as clinical, bizarre and tense as this fertility mission can be, it is first and foremost a process of deep love.

By:

Source: How to look after your relationship when experiencing fertility issues | Metro News

Related contents:

IVF vs IUI: Which fertility treatment is better for you? Doctors answer Hindustan Times

14:18
12:07
11:30
00:34
18:36 Sun, 21 Aug
12:48 Sun, 21 Aug
21:59 Sat, 20 Aug
12:31 Fri, 19 Aug
10:25 Fri, 19 Aug
01:42 Fri, 19 Aug
00:15 Fri, 19 Aug
23:30 Thu, 18 Aug
21:34 Thu, 18 Aug
17:36 Thu, 18 Aug
05:41 Thu, 18 Aug
Study shows potential issues with fertility apps’ privacy practices International Association of Privacy Professionals
21:28 Wed, 17 Aug
18:46 Wed, 17 Aug
16:59 Wed, 17 Aug
16:06 Wed, 17 Aug
16:03 Wed, 17 Aug
00:07 Wed, 17 Aug
21:01 Tue, 16 Aug
20:08 Tue, 16 Aug
18:36 Tue, 16 Aug
15:23 Tue, 16 Aug
13:03 Tue, 16 Aug
04:04 Tue, 16 Aug
01:31 Tue, 16 Aug
00:48 Tue, 16 Aug
16:13 Mon, 15 Aug
15:08 Mon, 15 Aug
13:44 Mon, 15 Aug
.

More Remote Working Apps:

https://givvy-numbers.app.link/qNDZMGGbhsb  Givvy Mobile Lottery

https://quintexcapital.com/?ref=arminham     Quintex Capital

https://www.genesis-mining.com/a/2535466   Genesis Mining

https://www.bybit.com/en-US/invite?ref=ALEXP  Bybit Crypto Trade

 http://www.bevtraders.com/?ref=arminham   BevTraders

https://www.litefinance.com/?uid=929237543  LiteTrading

https://cashbox.money/r/6ded936cbc264c7e9add5dd5565bb31a   Cash Box Money

https://alpariforex.org/fa/registration/?cpa_partner_id=13687690   Alpari Forex Trading

https://dealcheck.io?fp_ref=armin16   Dealcheck Real Estate Evaluator

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/369164  prime stocks

 https://jvz1.com/c/202927/373449  forrk   

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/194909  keysearch  

 https://jvz4.com/c/202927/296191  gluten free   

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/286851  diet fitness diabetes  

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/213027  writing job  

 https://jvz6.com/c/202927/108695  postradamus

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/372094  stoodaio

 https://jvz4.com/c/202927/358049  profile mate  

 https://jvz6.com/c/202927/279944  senuke  

 https://jvz8.com/c/202927/54245   asin   

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/370227  appimize

 https://jvz8.com/c/202927/376524  super backdrop

 

 https://jvz1.com/c/202927/375487  4brandcommercial

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/375358  talkingfaces

 https://jvz6.com/c/202927/375706  socifeed

 https://jvz2.com/c/202927/184902  gaming jobs

 https://jvz6.com/c/202927/88118   backlinkindexer

 https://jvz1.com/c/202927/376361  powrsuite  

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/370472  tubeserp  

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/343405  PR Rage  

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/371547  design beast  

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/376879  commission smasher

 https://jvz2.com/c/202927/376925  MT4Code System

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/375959  viral dash

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/376527  coursova

 https://jvz4.com/c/202927/144349  fanpage

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/376877  forex expert  

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/374258  appointomatic

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/377003  woocommerce

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/377005  domainname

 https://jvz8.com/c/202927/376842  maxslides

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/376381  ada leadz

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/333637  eyeslick

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/376986  creaitecontentcreator

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/376095  vidcentric

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/374965  studioninja

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/374934  marketingblocks

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/372682  clipsreel  

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/372916  VideoEnginePro

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/144577  BarclaysForexExpert

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/370806  Clientfinda

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/375550  Talkingfaces

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/370769  IMSyndicator

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/283867  SqribbleEbook

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/376524  superbackdrop

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/376849  VirtualReel

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/369837  MarketPresso

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/342854  voiceBuddy

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/377211  tubeTargeter

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/377557  InstantWebsiteBundle

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/368736  soronity

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/337292  DFY Suite 3.0 Agency+ information

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/291061  VideoRobot Enterprise

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/327447  Klippyo Kreators

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/324615  ChatterPal Commercial

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/299907  WP GDPR Fix Elite Unltd Sites

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/328172  EngagerMate

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/342585  VidSnatcher Commercial

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/292919  myMailIt

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/320972  Storymate Luxury Edition

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/320466  iTraffic X – Platinum Edition

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/330783  Content Gorilla One-time

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/301402  Push Button Traffic 3.0 – Brand New

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/321987  SociCake Commercial

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/289944  The Internet Marketing

 https://jvz2.com/c/202927/297271  Designa Suite License

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/310335  XFUNNELS FE Commercial 

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/291955  ShopABot

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/312692  Inboxr

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/343635  MediaCloudPro 2.0 – Agency

 https://jvz2.com/c/202927/353558  MyTrafficJacker 2.0 Pro+

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/365061  AIWA Commercial

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/357201  Toon Video Maker Premium

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/351754  Steven Alvey’s Signature Series

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/344541  Fade To Black

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/290487  Adsense Machine

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/315596  Diddly Pay’s DLCM DFY Club

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/355249  CourseReel Professional

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/309649  SociJam System

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/263380  360Apps Certification

 https://jvz2.com/c/202927/359468  LocalAgencyBox

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/377557  Instant Website Bundle                                        

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/377194  GMB Magic Content

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/376962  PlayerNeos VR

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/381812/  BrandElevate Bundle information

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/381807/ BrandElevate Ultimate

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/381556/ WowBackgraounds Plus

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/381689/  Your3DPal Ultimate

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/380877/  BigAudio Club Fast Pass

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/379998/ Podcast Masterclass

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/366537/  VideoGameSuite Exclusive

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/381148/ AffiliateMatic

https://jvzoo.com/c/202927/381179  YTSuite Advanced

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/381749/  Xinemax 2.0 Commercial

https://jvzoo.com/c/202927/382455  Living An Intentional Life

https://jvzoo.com/c/202927/381812  BrandElevate Bundle

https://jvzoo.com/c/202927/381935 Ezy MultiStores

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/381194/  DFY Suite 4.0 Agency

https://jvzoo.com/c/202927/381761  ReVideo

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/381976/  AppOwls Bundle

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/381950/  TrafficForU

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/381615/  WOW Backgrounds 2.0

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/381560   ALL-in-One HD Stock Bundle

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/382326/   Viddeyo Bundle

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/381617/  The Forex Joustar

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/383751/ ADA Web Accessibility Compliance 

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/383942/  10 Bold Actions In Positive Life & Work

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/383706/  Adtivate Agency

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/384099/   My Passive Income Blueprints

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/329145/  Content Tool Kit

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/382663/    ReviewReel

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/383865/     QR Verse Bundle

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/379307/    VIADZ Ad Template

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/383051/    EngageYard Ad Creator

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/381011/   Videevolve

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/383751/  Local Leader Bundle

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/383119/   Tonai Voice Content

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/383848/   Vocalic Commercial

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/383483/  Dropshiply Store Creator

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/384025/  Levidio Royal Podcasting

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/383094/  Develop Self Empowerment

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/379223/   Hostley Domain Creator

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/383447/   Mech Forex Robot

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/383177/   Motion Kingdom Studio

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/144577/   Forex Blizz Trading

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/382851/  AdRaven

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/383307/   Animaxime V2

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/375692/  Promovidz Promotion Videos

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/381148/  AffiliateMatic

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/379051/  CanvaKitz Business Templates

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/383113/  Agencyscale Business Agency

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/347847/  Pitchdeck Professional Presentations

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/381179/   YTSuite YouTube Ads Campaigns

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/382455/     Living an International Life

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/188236/    Galactic Dimension backgrounds

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/381749/    Xinemax Hollywood Creator

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/381194/   DFY Suite 4.0 Agency

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/381231/    Appowls Mobile Apps

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/381935/   Ezy Multi Stores

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/381950/  TrafficForU

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/381556/  WOW Backgrounds

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/381685/   Your 3DPal

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/381617/   Forex Joustar

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/381129/   Ultrafunnels A.I

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/128215/   DUX Forex Signals

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/381003/   Trendio Keyword Content

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/381439/  FX Goldminer

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/380937/  Linkomatic

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/378775/  Pixal 2.022

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/379983/   VidVoicer

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/380087/   Big Audio Club

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/379995/  Podcast Advantage

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/380159/  Reputor

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/379863/  TubePal

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/380543/  Local Sites

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/369500/   PodKastr Commercial

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/351606/ Insta Keyword

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/376325/   Facedrip

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/374505/  7 Minutes Kit

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/383057/  Aweber Crash Course

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/46987/   WP Simulator

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/379995/  Podcast Advantage

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/380692/  Boost Optimism

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/36517/   PlanB Muscle Growth

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/379480/  TV Boss Fire

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/379455/  Webprimo Website Builder

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/379339/  LocalCentric

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/378683/  WebCop

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/384619/  Agency Client Finder

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/384625/  Power Reviews

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/380933/   Survai

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/378775/  Pixal

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/383937/  Webinarkit

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/384700/  YoDrive

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/353373/  Rewriter

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/384630/  Appoint B Agency

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/267113/   Sunday Freebie

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/384573/  EBook Agency

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/75989/  Ejaculation Total

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/359081/  Quit Smoking

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/353694/  Mobi First

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/378143/   Syndranker

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/378359/    VidMingo

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/384848/     Heal Your Emptiness

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/384381/     RSI SEO

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/382333/   Facebook Cash Machin

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/184902/   Video Games

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/383555/  KoinCart

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/358870/  Diabetes Guide

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/353334/  Fitness Nutrition Guide

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/366872/  Organic Life Guide

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/367353/   Human Synthesys Studio

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/384653/   9 figure Success

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/383809/   Crypto Kit

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/366972/   AdzHero

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/385046/   Stackable Picture

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/25069/   Forex Atlatian

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/132677/  Forex Scouts

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/378113/   Crypto Rocket

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/377665/   PigMoney Method

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/374345/   Crypto Underworld

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/372305/  XBrain Forex

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/385213/  Pixivid

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/383888/   Seniors Income

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/381768/    FaceSwap

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/383111/   AgencyScale

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/382796/   Ad Raven

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/324492/   Graphic Alta

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/382425/  Art Of Living

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/377815/  Credit Repair

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/381337/  DFY Content Club

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/381689/  3D Pal Toons

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/380385/  Movid Animation

https://jvz8.com/c/202927/379244/  Extreme Adz

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/379020  Live Your Truth

https://jvz3.com/c/202927/47481/  Forex Blue Stark

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/144621/  Forex Mastery

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/144621/  Forex Mastery

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/95037/  Forex Hybrid Scalper

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/384759/  CourseAlly eLearning

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/385180/   EZ Local Appointment

https://jvz2.com/c/202927/380197/  Mat1 Simple Funnel

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/373207/  Photokit

https://jvz4.com/c/202927/384755/   HostLegends

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/377907/   AIWA22

https://jvz6.com/c/202927/363237/   ImageX

https://jvz1.com/c/202927/385357/     SocialAgency360

 

 

33 Small, Nice Things to Do When Your Relationship Feels Disconnected

We’ve all been there at one time or another. Something is…just a bit off in your relationship. You can feel it. No, this isn’t a lets-draw-up-the-divorce-papers scenario. But there’s a palpable sense of distance and disconnection. Maybe it’s due to a sudden change in schedules. Maybe it’s because every day feels the same and you’ve both fallen into a little bit of a funk. Maybe it’s something else entirely.

Whatever the case, you’ve noticed that your relationship feels distanced and want to take some steps to close that space. Good for you. Here, then, are a variety of small, nice things to do if you feel disconnected from your partner. Will they all work for you? No, but each requires effort. And effort is what’s needed to make a change.

Talk about it. Seriously. Your partner is not a mind-reader. If you don’t bring up the fact that you feel distance, they won’t know how you feel and you won’t know how they feel. Hell, they may be surprised that you feel it. Either well, it will be helpful. So put it out in the open, explain what’s on your mind, and listen to your partner do the same.

Don’t blindside them when they have a five minute break from work or they finished bathing the kids. Choose the right time to bring it up.

Show appreciation. And be specific about it. Mention the loving way they defused that tantrum the other day. Compliment them on how thoughtful they are. Tell them they’re a wonderful parent. Make it known that you’re paying attention.

Ask questions. About work. About friends. About colleagues. About sex. About anything and everything. Importantly, listen actively and remember the answers. Curiosity is what keeps couples connected.

Offer up information about yourself, too. Did you eat a great sandwich today? Hear a great song? Are you working on something interesting at the office? Did your toddler do something ridiculous at the park this morning? Tell your partner. You need to be three-dimensional, too.

Make time for one another. Even if it’s just 20 minutes together doing the dishes after dinner. Set aside the time. Disconnection often happens when alone time is not actively pursued.

And make plans for next month. Real plans. The more interesting the better. Is there a cool show in town? An interesting restaurant that you both want to eat at? An axe-throwing place you want to check out? Whatever the case, find something that will give you something to talk about and connect over.

But also discuss far-off plans. Excitedly talking about the future helps make it obvious that you will both be together for the long haul. And who doesn’t like to imagine the good things to come? “Wouldn’t it be amazing to sail around the Greek isles together when we’re retired?” Yeah, it would.

Download a relationship or sex app. Use them on your next date night. Many contain a variety of exercises to help stave off boredom. Here are a few to check out.

Plan a date night. In or out. Fancy or casual. Just make it happen.

Text. Call. Occasionally pop in and say hi. Don’t be overbearing, but check in because you want to.

Put down the damn phone. If you can’t go five minutes without thumbing through Instagram, you can’t expect your partner to think you’re listening.

Say thank you. However often you think you’re saying it, say it more.

Identify your spouse’s love language. Speak it often.

Stay up to date about expectations. The who-does-what-and-how talk is not a one-time conversation. It is an ever evolving one that must take place regularly. It helps keep you both on the same page and does a lot to ward off resentment.

Set goals together. What do you want to accomplish in the next year? What do you want to achieve in the next few years? What does your partner want? Don’t know? Figure it out. Discussing your goals and arriving at a shared set together that you can then map out is a big step in feeling connected.

Try to incorporate some couple’s therapy exercises. So many are designed to re-establish connection. Here are some to consider.

Try to maintain the “magic formula” of a happy marriage. Dr. John Gottman discovered that for every negative interaction you have with your partner, you need five positives. Stick to this as often as possible and good things will follow.

Reflect on the good times. Reminisce. Because A) this shows your partner that you look back fondly on your relationship and B) it helps you both remember why you decided to live a life together in the first place. That goes a long way.

Turn towards, not away from your partner’s bids for connection. That is, when they tell you a story about their day or offer something for you to respond to, respond to them as much as possible.

Hold hands. Touch the small of their back. Give them more hugs. Embrace the six-second kiss. Just make a pact to be more affectionate in general.

Schedule sex. It may not seem sexy, but this is a simple way to put connection on the calendar.

Handle whatever needs to be handled so they can take some time for themselves — be it an hour or an entire weekend. A relationship can only function at its fullest potential if both partners have the chance to feel like individuals. Help them carve out the time.

Call your friends. Talking to and hearing from your buddies fills you with stories to share and advice to receive. It also helps keep things in perspective.

Play a board game. Build a pillow fort. Go go karting. Just do something silly together. Silliness is a big part of connection.

Don’t bother them when they’re doing the thing they like to do. We all need time to decompress.

But sometimes watch that show that they like to watch but you don’t. You know the one. Yup, that one.

Try, really try, to make them laugh.

Hang out together without talking. Just being comfortable together is important, too.

Give them a kiss before they leave and when they return. Or, if you’re the one to leave before you leave and when you return.

Check in at the end of each day. Talk about what went right, what went wrong, what made you roll your eyes.

Say “I love you” often. But not so often that it becomes the thing you say to prevent them from being upset with you. You get it. We know you do.

Play an active role in your relationship. That is, never stop trying.

Source: 33 Small, Nice Things to Do When Your Relationship Feels Disconnected | Fatherly

.

Related Contents:

5 Workplace Behaviors That Impact Employee Mental Health

Even companies with the best intentions can sometimes take a wrong turn when trying to do right by their employees. Damaging habits and behaviors can inadvertently get absorbed into company culture; and when this happens, it can send the wrong signal about a company’s priorities and values. One of the biggest challenges lies in finding the sweet spot between business needs and employee welfare and happiness. Naturally, you want a high-performing team; but not at the expense of employee well-being and mental health.

Here, we take a closer look at some common workplace conventions—and the ways that they might be inadvertently undermining your mental health objectives.

    1. Having a “hustle” culture

It’s great to be productive, but over-emphasizing hard work and profitability can be a slippery slope to toxic productivity. It can lead to individuals attaching their feelings of self-worth to the amount of work they’re doing, and feeling like performance metrics are more important than their mental well-being.

Similarly, celebrating employees who stay late—or even lightly teasing those who start late and leave (or log-off) early (or on time)—can subtly contribute to a culture of overwork and performative busy-ness. Left unchecked, this can result in resentment and burnout among other employees who feel compelled to prove their own commitment to work .

A small fix:

Instead of celebrating regular overtime, try opening up communication about ways to include breaks and downtime throughout the day. You can support this with anecdotes about the healthy mental habits of people in the team (assuming they are open to sharing). For example: “Hey guys, Dave’s found a clever way to schedule regular breaks into his day around meetings!”

Also be sure to address long hours and overwork if you see a rising trend in the company, as it could be an indicator of unachievable work expectations.

2. Sending work emails or messages after hours

It happens to us all: maybe you only received a response on something late in the day, or you had an out-of-hours brainwave.

Sending the occasional evening or weekend message is fine, but doing it regularly implies that after-hours work is expected—which could pressure people into feeling they have to respond immediately.

The same goes for emails sent at the end of a working day with next-day deadlines (or, for example, Monday morning deadlines for work given out on Friday). These practices put a hefty burden on the recipient, which adds to stress and can contribute to burnout.

Now, it gets a bit harder to draw a line when you take into account the increasingly globalized world of work, which necessitates out-of-hours communications due to different time zones. But even in these cases, it helps to be explicit about expectations when sending messages, especially when you know the recipient is either about to log off or has signed off for the day.

A small fix:

If you need to send emails after hours or on weekends, be sure to add a note about how the email can be read or dealt with on the next working day. This takes pressure off the recipient and assures them that they won’t be penalized for not responding on the spot.

If you have a global team, it also helps to establish clear working hours for different countries, and to be clear about the fact that nobody is expected to read or respond to emails out of hours.

Also, no matter where in the world you or your recipient are, be sure to schedule enough time for them to deal with the task during their office hours! And remember—they may have other pre-existing work on their plate that might need to take precedence.

3. Only engaging in “shop-talk”

It’s easy to find things to talk about around the water cooler in the office. But take those organic run-ins out of the equation, and what you’re left with is often work chat and little else.

Working from home has made it harder to bond with colleagues. The natural tendency is to get work done and to only chat about the process, rarely (if ever) about other things.

This removes a big social aspect from work, which can take a significant mental toll on employees and affect their enjoyment of work. This is especially apparent for employees who don’t already have solid work friend groups, either because they’re new or because their friends have since left the company.

A small fix:

There’s so much more to people than just who they are at work. To get some non-work conversations going, design interactions that aren’t work related.

You could set up a monthly ‘coffee roulette’ to group random employees up for a chat. This can help to break the ice a bit and link up individuals who might not otherwise speak during work hours. Or you could arrange sharing sessions where people are encouraged to talk about their challenges and triumphs from life outside the workplace.

Another alternative is to set up interest groups in the company, to help like-minded employees find each other and bond over a shared interest in certain hobbies or things.

4. Only having group chats and check-ins

Big group check-ins and catch-up meetings are important. But group settings can pressure people to put a good spin on things, or cause them to feel like they’re being irrational or weak for struggling when everyone else seems to be doing well. 

This could result in problems being missed and getting out of hand, which in turn can take a big toll on mental health and well-being.

A small fix:

Some people may not be willing to speak candidly to a large group, so be sure to set aside time for employees to speak one-to-one to a manager who can  address any problems that may arise. It’s also important to make sure everyone understands that they won’t be penalized or looked down on for speaking up about any issues they may be having.

5. Not talking about mental wellness

Perhaps the biggest way your company might be undermining mental health is simply by… not talking about it.

Some managers may not feel equipped to have these conversations, or may not be sure about the etiquette or convention around holding these conversations. But by not broaching these topics at all, employees may feel like they can’t speak out about things they’re struggling with.

The result is a rose-tinted veneer that may be hiding deeper problems under the surface. And studies show there likely are problems. According to the CDC, 1 in 5 employed adults in the U.S. experienced a mental health issue back in the previous year, with 71% of adults reporting at least one symptom of stress. That number has likely shot up now.

A small fix:

Be candid about mental health and encourage people to share their burdens and struggles—especially leaders. You can help by actively promoting good habits like mindfulness and meditation, proper work-life balance, and reaching out for help when necessary.

By being more honest about struggles and mental wellness challenges, managers can reduce the stigma and create a more open culture where people feel able to admit they’re struggling.

As a company, it’s important to be careful about the ripple effects that even small actions—or, in some cases, inaction—may have on employees. The simple fact is that the signals you send may be reinforcing unhealthy habits.

That’s why it’s so important to be aware of deeper currents that run in your organization and to proactively address any harmful behaviors.

By staying aware and making a few small tweaks and behavioral changes, you can hit the reset button when necessary and encourage good habits that protect employee mental wellness.

For more tips on how to build a more inclusive workplace culture that supports your employees’ mental well-being and happiness, check out:

By: https://www.calm.com/

.

TEDx Talks

Is Mental Health important​ in the workplace? Tom explores all things related to workplace mental health, including mental health in school workplaces, in this insightful video. Tom helps employers figure out mental health at work. He reviews workplaces, trains managers and writes plans. Since 2012 he has interviewed more than 130 people, surveyed thousands and worked across the UK with corporations, civil service, charities, the public sector, schools and small business. Tom has worked with national mental health charities Mind and Time to Change and consults widely across the UK. He lives in Norfolk and is mildly obsessed with cricket and camping.

More Contents:

Reddit Raised $250M, EA Acquires Glu Mobile, and More SF Tech News http://www.builtinsf.com – Today[…] QUOTE OF THE WEEK “If there is one thing we’ve learned from the past year, it’s that prioritizing employee mental health is critical for all companies — no matter the size […]1

Leading Remotely: The First 90-Day Guide http://www.thelasallenetwork.com – February 16[…]  Employee mental health is closely related to productivity and engagement, meaning the decline in mental health ca […]2

Recognizing Employee Depression at Work: COVID-19 and Beyond beniplus.ca – February 16[…] (Contact Information) – Canadian Centre for Mental Health and Sport (CCMHS) How Can I Approach an Employee? – Mental Health Works, a social enterprise of the Canadian Mental Health Association Employee Mental Health Issues (Guide for People Leaders) – Workplace Strategies by Canada Life Related Post Health Car […]1

Rehumanizing the Workplace in 2021 With an Employee-First Culture | Toolbox Hr http://www.toolbox.com – February 16[…] Given all that has happened since then, employee mental health is a major concern that employee-centric organizations must address […]1

A Look at Mental Health and Wellbeing in Construction http://www.amaresearch.co.uk – February 16[…]   Wind forward just a handful of years and employee mental health and wellbeing is beginning to get the attention it clearly deserves, with organisations starting to […]1

SilverCloud Health Study: Employees Want More Mental Health Support and Resources from their Employer | Business Wire http://www.businesswire.com – February 16[…] WIRE)–SilverCloud Health, a leading digital mental health platform, today released its 2021 Employee Mental Health and Well-being Report, an up-to-date wide-ranging study examining the role of employers i […] The data highlights a chronic, ongoing issue of employee mental health challenges being unmet, leading to absenteeism and lost productivity, which have been exacerbate […]N/A

COVID-19 Vaccine | HRExecutive.com hrexecutive.com – February 16[…] 1-5 From a serious decline in employee mental health to why employers need to make a COVID-19 vaccine strategy now, here are some of the week’s to […]N/A

The Impact of COVID-19 on Mental Health | Lyra Health | Resource get.lyrahealth.com – February 16[…] pandemic has dramatically changed the way we work, and it’s clear that the changes are impacting employee mental health, well-being, and productivity […]N/A

Understanding Employee Mental Health in Unprecedented Times | Lyra Health | Resource get.lyrahealth.com – February 16From the ongoing coronavirus pandemic to the racial justice movement sweeping across America, the uncertainty and upheaval of the past several months has challenged American workers in unparalleled ways.

8 Human Resource Tech Trends That Will Influence Your Business in 2021 http://www.monterail.com – February 16[…] gamification and wearables will continue to grow, but there is a notable shift of focus towards employee mental health […]N/A

5 Qualities of Great HR Leaders in 2021 blog.clearcompany.com – February 16[…] HR leaders placed a larger emphasis on employee mental health and well-being, and many workers shifted toward a purpose-driven approach to work […]1

5 Workplace Behaviors That Impact Employee Mental Health (and How To Fix Them) http://www.calm.com – February 16Explore the inadvertent ways company culture may be undermining your mental health objectives.22

Timothy P. on LinkedIn: #mentalflexibility #employeementalhealth #workplacewellbeing http://www.linkedin.com – February 16[…] How are you empowering interpersonal confidence? Have you linked this to employee mental health, workplace wellbeing and building high-performance cultures? #mentalflexibilit […]0

eQuoo – The Game Changer for Mental Health by Richard Cronin http://www.linkedin.com – February 16[…] What can you do for Employee Mental Health? EAP programmes are often used as a tick box exercise; With just 2-5% utilising these services, w […]0

Managing productivity, team dynamics, and employee mental health during a crisis http://www.ceridian.com – February 16Supporting workforce mental health has long been on the radar of many business leaders. But now, during the COVID-19 crisis, it’s a top priority for organizations across the world. In fact, mental health support is needed more than ever for all employees – from executives to remote employees – and…2

Impairment – National Safety Council nsc.org – February 15[…] MENTAL HEALTH AND SOCIAL FACTORS Prioritize Mental Health See how you can promote employee mental health and wellbeing […]N/A

Robin Sacks on LinkedIn: 5 Workplace Behaviors That Impact Employee Mental Health (and How http://www.linkedin.com – February 15As a company, it’s important to be careful about the ripple effects that even small actions—or, in some cases, inaction—may have on employees. The simple…

In Rural America, Resentment Over COVID-19 Shutdowns is Colliding With Rising Case Numbers

As COVID-19 spreads through rural America, new infection numbers are rising to peaks not seen during this pandemic and pushing hospitals to their limits. Many towns are experiencing their first major outbreaks, but that doesn’t mean rural communities had previously been spared the devastating impacts of the pandemic.

Infection rates in rural and frontier communities ebbed and flowed during the first seven months, often showing up in pockets linked to meat packing plants, nursing homes or prisons.

Even if they had no cases, many rural areas were under statewide public health orders that left businesses closed and events canceled. And that has become part of the problem today. The early compassionate and cohesive community responses to COVID-19 quickly gave way to growing anger and compliance fatigue, especially when some isolated towns didn’t see their first positive cases until summer.

That resentment toward public health recommendations, including mask-wearing, is now on a crash course with rising case numbers in the Mountain West, Midwest and Great Plains. For the fifth week in a row, rural counties witnessed a sharp increase in cases, to the point where over 70% of the nation’s nonmetropolitan counties had earned a “red zone” designation, suggesting local viral spread was out of control. The reality, though, is COVID-19 has never been “under control” in the U.S.

As professors of family medicine with experience in rural health policy and medical practice, we have been studying the barriers rural communities are facing during the pandemic and how they can solve COVID-19-related challenges.

Understanding the drivers of increasing COVID-19 cases in rural places is critical to both curtailing the current surge and limiting flareups in the future.

Why rural cases are on the rise

Several factors have contributed to the rise in rural case numbers.

The politicization of the pandemic – and of mask-wearing – has hampered both public health efforts and collaboration among businesses, community organizations and health care entities. Political tensions have given rise to misinformation, reinforced on social media, that can be difficult to turn around. If people aren’t taking protective measures, when COVID-19 does come in, it can easily and quickly spread.

In some communities, the resumption of small-town activities, such as school, church and sports events, has led to more infections. Experts have pointed to social gatherings, including the nearly 500,000-strong Sturgis motorcycle rally in South Dakota in August, as sources of the recent COVID-19 surge in the upper Midwest.

Working from home is also nearly impossible for many rural jobs. Paid sick leave may also be difficult to come by, prompting some people to choose between working while sick and isolating at home without pay. Meat and poultry processing plants and other farm industries often employ immigrants whose living and commuting realities can make social distancing difficult. Many rural places are heavily dependent on recreation and service industries. When visitors arrive from out of town, they may bring COVID-19 with them.

A man partially wearing a mask waits for an employment interview in Imperial County, California.
Unemployed workers wait to fill out job applications in a region hit hard by the COVID-19 pandemic. Mario Tama/Getty Images

Local health care is already short-supplied

Pinpointing COVID-19 outbreaks early and stopping the spread can also be harder in rural areas.

Funding for rural public health departments has long been anemic, crippling their ability to test, share data and conduct contact tracing. Limited resources also constrain education and outreach efforts.

Many rural hospitals and primary care practices entered the pandemic in financial trouble and chronically short-staffed. They reside squarely at the end of the supply chain, making acquisition of needed personal protective equipment and testing supplies difficult. Rural hospitals have fewer ICU beds per capita than their urban counterparts. Lack of consistent broadband coverage can make access to telehealth difficult, as well.

These factors, compounded by caring for a population that is comparatively older, sicker and poorer, leave rural communities extraordinarily vulnerable as cases continue to rise.

How to turn the tide of rising cases

Intervening now can slow the rate of rise of COVID-19 cases in rural hot spots while simultaneously building a more robust long-term response.

To be most effective, each rural area’s unique demographics, economies and perspectives should be considered as policies are developed.

For example, allowing rural communities to exert control over their reopening and closing decisions based on local disease transmission dynamics would allow them to better balance disease mitigation with economic impacts. Some states allow rural communities with few or no cases to apply for waivers from statewide public health orders. These applications generally look at local infection data, containment measures and health care capacity.

[Deep knowledge, daily. Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter.]

Changing the nature of the conversation around COVID-19 in the community can also help in implementing simple, effective measures like mask-wearing. When communications are personal, they may be more accepted. For example, a public service message could remind people that wearing a mask keeps your favorite business open and your grandmother healthy. Framing levels of risk in understandable terms for different types of activities can also help, such as how to exercise or socialize safely. Working with trusted local messengers, such as business owners and faith leaders, can help convey evidence-based information.

A cafe owner wears a protective face mask in Stillwater, Oklahoma.
Stillwater, Oklahoma, pulled back on requiring people to wear masks in stores last spring after officials said some customers threatened store employees. Johannes Eisele/AFP via Getty

Planning is also essential. Communities need to prepare so they can get supplies, testing and treatment when needed; protect the most vulnerable community members; educate the community; and support people in isolation and quarantine. A rural regional approach to testing and contact tracing, sharing supplies and swapping staff could help bridge some of the gaps. Getting test results closer to home could decrease wait times and courier costs. Sharing resources across health care organizations could also minimize the burden of response.

3 ways to strengthen systems for the future

COVID-19 isn’t likely to be the last pandemic rural America will see. Here are three ways to strengthen rural systems for the future.

  • By partnering with universities and local and state agencies, communities can incorporate their unique susceptibilities into dynamic epidemiological models that could better inform local public health and economic decisions.
  • Aligning public health and health care measures could help governments better balance pandemic responses and ensure all parts of the community are moving toward the same goal.
  • Increasing broadband access and internet speeds in rural and frontier communities could also help. During the pandemic, people everywhere have appreciated the need for internet connectivity for education, remote work and purchasing goods, as well as virtual health care.

By: Lauren Hughes / Associate Professor of Family Medicine, University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus & Roberto Silva / Assistant Professor of Family Medicine, University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus, University of Colorado Denver

.

.

CBS This Morning 1.64M subscribers The number of new coronavirus cases is rising across the country as the death toll approaches 200,000 in the U.S. Infectious disease experts are criticizing a reversal to critical guidance from the CDC on how COVID-19 spreads. David Begnaud reports.

Visit Good Morning America’s homepage: https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/ Follow GMA: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GoodMorningA… Twitter: https://twitter.com/gma Instagram: https://instagram.com/goodmorningamerica Watch full episodes of GMA: http://abc.go.com/shows/good-morning-… https://hulu.tv/2YnifTH #GMA #COVID19 #Coronavirus #Pandemic

%d bloggers like this: