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Break The Psychological Barriers Holding Back Your Career

athlete running in red smoke

We tend to find reasons to blame others when our careers are not moving forward. Most of the time we don’t look critically at ourselves. It could be attributed to a bad boss, back-stabbing coworkers, bad luck or some sort of discrimination and prejudice.

These things, unfortunately, occur all too often in the workplace. Those are not the only reasons that hold you back. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy and do harm to your career development and advancement.

People have negative thoughts that play on endless loops. We experience feelings of anxiety and insecurity. Many of us have a fear of failure and are scared of the unknown. This prohibits us from taking action and moving forward in our careers.

To become successful, it’s important to counter these bad thoughts and feelings. You need to adopt a positive mindset which motivates you into action. Waiting, wanting and wishing for a miracle to happen is not a realistic plan. What’s required is a burning desire to achieve a desired goal, along with assertive actions.

We have all experienced difficult and and some traumatic events in our younger years. You may be thirty or fifty years old, but still view the world through the eyes of young, afraid kid who was bullied in school. These feelings are real, but you have to find a way to effectively deal with and rise above it. Incessantly reliving bad events from the past will inhibit you from living in the present. The constant negativity will eat-up your energy and restrain you from achieving great things.

To move forward with your career and succeed you must let go of the past. Stop reliving bad memories and quit being the victim. You can’t undo the past but you can build a bright new future. Forgive yourself and others so that you can move on with your life and career with a clean slate. Clear you mind to focus on the present moment and your goals for the future.

You may feel stuck in a rut but don’t know what to do next. Time goes by and you become increasingly frustrated. It’s easy to start getting resentful and angry at your situation. You will promise that a change will be made next week or after the New Year.

Stop saying it and start doing something positive. Take constructive steps to move forward. Keep in mind, an object in motion stays in motion. If you don’t move forward, you are falling behind. It’s too easy to become complacent and take the path of least resistance by staying in a bad situation.

It gets harder to change the longer you remain in a bad work relationship. Acknowledge your  feelings and start taking proactive steps. Devise a plan to change your circumstances. Write down the ideas to keep yourself honest, then take proactive measures every day. Push forward even if you’re tired and don’t want to do it. By cultivating these habits you will build mental and emotional muscle. You will become stronger, more confident and feel better about yourself as you take charge of your life.

We teach our children that if they try hard enough they can become anything they desire. Somehow as we get older, we’re not so sure about this. As grown working adults we doubt our abilities. After some setbacks, we believe that great success is solely for other people and not us. You need to heed your parent’s advice. Use the unique skills, attributes and gifts that you possess and relentlessly build upon them to achieve want you want in your career and life.

To succeed you need to let-go of the past, ignore the negative voices in your head, take bold initiatives and don’t give-in to excuses.

Follow me on Twitter or LinkedIn.

I am a CEO, founder, and executive recruiter at one of the oldest and largest global search firms in my area of expertise, and have personally placed thousands of professionals with top-tier companies over the last 20-plus years. I am passionate about advocating for job seekers. In doing so, I have founded a start-up company, WeCruitr, where our mission is to make the job search more humane and enjoyable. As a proponent of career growth, I am excited to share my insider interviewing tips and career advancement secrets with you in an honest, straightforward, no-nonsense and entertaining manner. My career advice will cover everything you need to know, including helping you decide if you really should seek out a new opportunity, whether you are leaving for the wrong reasons, proven successful interviewing techniques, negotiating a salary and accepting an offer and a real-world understanding of how the hiring process actually works. My articles come from an experienced recruiter’s insider perspective.

Source: Break The Psychological Barriers Holding Back Your Career

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11 Things Smart People Won’t Say At Work

There are some things you simply never want to say at work.

These phrases carry special power: they have an uncanny ability to make you look bad even when the words are true.

Worst of all, there’s no taking them back once they slip out.

I’m not talking about shocking slips of the tongue, off-color jokes, or politically incorrect faux pas. These aren’t the only ways to make yourself look bad.

Often it’s the subtle remarks—the ones that paint us as incompetent and unconfident—that do the most damage.

No matter how talented you are or what you’ve accomplished, there are certain phrases that instantly change the way people see you and can forever cast you in a negative light. These phrases are so loaded with negative implications that they undermine careers in short order.

How many of these career killers have you heard around the office lately?

1. “It’s not fair.”

Everyone knows that life isn’t fair. Saying it’s not fair suggests that you think life is supposed to be fair, which makes you look immature and naïve.

If you don’t want to make yourself look bad, you need to stick to the facts, stay constructive, and leave your interpretation out of it. For instance, you could say, “I noticed that you assigned Ann that big project I was hoping for. Would you mind telling me what went into that decision? I’d like to know why you thought I wasn’t a good fit, so that I can work on improving those skills.”

2. “This is the way it’s always been done.”

Technology-fueled change is happening so fast that even a six-month-old process could be outdated. Saying this is the way it’s always been done not only makes you sound lazy and resistant to change, but it could make your boss wonder why you haven’t tried to improve things on your own. If you really are doing things the way they’ve always been done, there’s almost certainly a better way.

3. “No problem.”

When someone asks you to do something or thanks you for doing something, and you tell them no problem, you’re implying that their request should have been a problem. This makes people feel as though they’ve imposed upon you.

What you want to do instead is to show people that you’re happy to do your job. Say something like “It was my pleasure” or “I’ll be happy to take care of that.” It’s a subtle difference in language, but one that has a huge impact on people.

4. “I think …/This may be a silly idea …/I’m going to ask a stupid question.”

These overly passive phrases instantly erode your credibility. Even if you follow these phrases with a great idea, they suggest that you lack confidence, which makes the people you’re speaking to lose confidence in you.

Don’t be your own worst critic. If you’re not confident in what you’re saying, no one else will be either. And, if you really don’t know something, say, “I don’t have that information right now, but I’ll find out and get right back to you.”

5. “This will only take a minute.”

Saying that something only takes a minute undermines your skills and gives the impression that you rush through tasks. Unless you’re literally going to complete the task in 60 seconds, feel free to say that it won’t take long, but don’t make it sound as though the task can be completed any sooner than it can actually be finished.

6. “I’ll try.”

Just like the word think, try sounds tentative and suggests that you lack confidence in your ability to execute the task. Take full ownership of your capabilities. If you’re asked to do something, either commit to doing it or offer an alternative, but don’t say that you’ll try because it sounds like you won’t try all that hard.

7. “He’s lazy/incompetent/a jerk.”

There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so there’s no need to point it out. If your remark is inaccurate, you’re the one who ends up looking like a jerk.

There will always be rude or incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you don’t have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your coworkers’ negative opinions of you.

8. “That’s not in my job description.”

This often sarcastic phrase makes you sound as though you’re only willing to do the bare minimum required to keep getting a paycheck, which is a bad thing if you like job security.

If your boss asks you to do something that you feel is inappropriate for your position (as opposed to morally or ethically inappropriate), the best move is to complete the task eagerly. Later, schedule a conversation with your boss to discuss your role in the company and whether your job description needs an update. This ensures that you avoid looking petty. It also enables you and your boss to develop a long-term understanding of what you should and shouldn’t be doing.

9. “It’s not my fault.”

It’s never a good idea to cast blame. Be accountable. If you had any role—no matter how small—in whatever went wrong, own it. If not, offer an objective, dispassionate explanation of what happened. Stick to the facts, and let your boss and colleagues draw their own conclusions about who’s to blame.

The moment you start pointing fingers is the moment people start seeing you as someone who lacks accountability for their actions. This makes people nervous. Some will avoid working with you altogether, and others will strike first and blame you when something goes wrong.

10. “I can’t.”

I can’t is it’s not my fault’s twisted sister. People don’t like to hear I can’t because they think it means I won’t. Saying I can’t suggests that you’re not willing to do what it takes to get the job done.

If you really can’t do something because you truly lack the necessary skills, you need to offer an alternative solution. Instead of saying what you can’t do, say what you can do. For example, instead of saying “I can’t stay late tonight,” say “I can come in early tomorrow morning. Will that work?” Instead of “I can’t run those numbers,” say “I don’t yet know how to run that type of analysis. Is there someone who can show me so that I can do it on my own next time?”

11. “I hate this job.”

The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person and brings down the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.

Bringing It All Together

Eliminating these phrases from your vocabulary pays dividends. They have a tendency to sneak up on you, so you’re going to have to catch yourself until you’ve solidified the habit of not saying them.

What other phrases should be on this list? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

I am the author of the best-selling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the cofounder of TalentSmart, a consultancy that serves more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies and is the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training (www.TalentSmart.com). My books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. I’ve written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.

 

Source: 11 Things Smart People Won’t Say At Work

Five key facts about blue light in the workplace

In today’s digital world, many employees spend a large part of their days with their eyes glued to screens. While modern technology may offer many life and work-related benefits, it could also be negatively impacting our vision. High-energy visible (HEV) light, also known as “blue light,” is an intense light emitted by the sun, CFL and LED lighting, and the screens of electronic devices such as televisions, computers and smart phones. There are a lot of misconceptions out there about blue light though, so it’s important to separate the facts from fiction………

Source: Blue light is unavoidable in the digitally connected world

How Do You Steer Through Turbulent Waters? Five Steps To Successfully Navigate Conflict At Work – Jay Sullivan

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Conflict is part of life. Most of us avoid conflict when we can, but sometimes, it’s unavoidable. Early in our careers, when we feel powerless relative to those around us, we tend to deal with conflict by ducking, dodging or deferring, knowing that we don’t have much leverage to push back. But as we progress in our careers, we gain clout, credibility and control, and our approach evolves. How can we handle conflict more effectively, regardless of where we are on the seniority spectrum? Let’s start by defining terms. For the purposes of this piece, “conflict” means a situation where two or more people believe strongly in differing paths and a certain stubbornness…………….

Read more: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jaysullivan/2018/11/15/how-do-you-steer-through-turbulent-waters-five-steps-to-successfully-navigate-conflict-at-work/#63292f1850c2

 

 

 

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