The Skills You Need for Happier Relationships With Family

This holiday season, many of us gathered with our families, some for the first time since the COVID-19 pandemic began. While time with loved ones can be heartwarming, family dynamics can also be complex and challenging. We offer insights around some of these relationship challenges and skills for building stronger relationships in our Science of Happiness course, a free, eight-week online course that explores the roots of a happy, meaningful life.

When we asked students in the conclusion of the course how the journey had impacted them, they shared everything from small habit changes to big life transitions. But one of the themes that kept coming up was how the course enhanced their sense of connection with family.

Family is key to well-being

In an opening discussion in the course, we asked students all around the world what makes them happy. The overwhelming response revealed how important family is for happiness.

Annette, a new student in the course, summarized it this way:

“The things that make me happy are spending time with my family and my dog, seeing my children grow and prosper in adulthood, being able to be independent despite physical limitations.”

Many students identified family relationships as their main focus for improvement through the course. They described many difficulties in these intimate relationships, as well: Juggling work and home life can be challenging, and when we are stressed, we often project our negative emotions on to our loved ones.

For example, Yainak, a student who recently completed the course, reflected:

“When I was terribly busy raising my children and I didn’t have the time to be considerate of others, it was difficult for me to be grateful to others, and I would only complain, wondering why I was the only one having a hard time. I couldn’t even be generous to my husband, who was the closest to me. At that time, when I got together with other housewives, the main topic of conversation was complaining about our husbands.”

Research suggests that family relationships can help us cope with stress, form healthier habits, and enhance self-esteem, leading to higher well-being. So how do we strengthen our family relationships?

Skills for happier family relationships

Each of the course’s eight weeks focuses on a specific theme, and many of these are very relevant to our family relationships.

Forgiveness. Conflict is inevitable, especially in close relationships, and our forgiveness lessons in the course center on forming genuine apologies, as well as activating compassion as we consider forgiving others.

For example, students learn the process of forgiveness based on research by Fred Luskin. Once you acknowledge your feelings and make a commitment to forgive, the steps also include soothing yourself when you feel upset and focusing on your positive goals for the future rather than past hurts.

Student Anna recalls many “family members’ relationships crushed due to unwillingness to forgive,” and emphasizes that “with family members who you care about, it’s OK to be the first one to apologize to the other for the situation you are in without blaming one or the other.” Many students agreed with this observation, acknowledging how the simple action of apologizing first can initially be uncomfortable and difficult—but ultimately worthwhile.

Gratitude. One practice, the Gratitude Letter, was particularly popular in the course. Students wrote letters expressing thanks to people they hadn’t properly thanked, and delivered them in person if possible, creating the space for heartfelt conversation.

Jackie, a new student in the course, shared:

“I wrote the letter to my mom and called her. It was moving and powerful for her, even though I thank her all the time, this delivery was more meaningful as I wrote to her to thank her for the person that she is, for her happy spirit and resilience. She cried, I cried, and this exercise made us both very happy and brought us closer together.”

Student Katie created a habit of doing the Three Good Things practice, taking time to reflect on positive moments from the day as a way to bring attention to the blessings in her life. Her partner joined in for this evening ritual, which has strengthened their bond through a short but impactful moment of appreciation.

“I’ve noticed feeling more rested when we do this,” she said. “We laugh more before we sleep and are spending less time looking at screens.”

Yainak also developed a gratitude practice with her husband. “We are now able to express our gratitude to each other, and I am amazed at how happy we feel when we do so,” she said.

Mindfulness and compassion. Throughout the course, students try a variety of mindfulness and compassion practices that can benefit their relationships with their families.

In the Active Listening practice, students practice giving and observing body-language signals during conversations that help deepen connection and enrich communication—like eye contact, smiles, and nods to show you are paying attention.

The mindfulness practices consist of three varieties: Mindful Breathing, Body Scan Meditation, and Loving-Kindness Meditation. Students are encouraged to integrate these practices into their daily habits, and many students reflected on the calm and clarity they get from practicing mindfulness.

Yainak found herself struggling to take care of everyone as a mother, daughter, and wife; all of the time and energy it took had become a chore, so she didn’t feel truly caring. Ultimately, she found that practicing mindfulness was a way of taking care of herself, so she could better take care of others.

She came to this realization during a Mindful Breathing practice, by “relaxing her mind and taking slow breaths.” After the course, she set a goal of creating “a life that helps those around me by gently approaching my own mind and body, then working on myself and imagining a happy future.”

Do you want to explore the roots of your own happiness and deepen your relationships? Sign up for the course in the new year and join our community of like-minded students striving for happier and more connected lives.

Source: The Skills You Need for Happier Relationships With Family

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Related contents:

The Science of Romantic Love: Distinct Evolutionary, Neural, and Hormonal Characteristics”. International Journal of Undergraduate Research and Creative Activities. 7: 1. doi:10.7710/2168-0620.1036Vangelisti, Anita L. (2011).

Interpersonal Processes in Romantic Relationships” (PDF). In Knapp, Mark L.; Daly, John A. (eds.). The SAGE Handbook of Interpersonal Communication. SAGE Publications. pp. 597–631. ISBN 978-1-4129-7474-5. S2CID 15423545.Meier A, Allen G (2009).

“Romantic Relationships from Adolescence to Young Adulthood: Evidence from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health”. The Sociological Quarterly. 50 (2): 308–335. doi:10.1111/j.1533-8525.2009.01142.x. PMC 4201847. PMID 25332511.Sassler S (June 2010).

“Partnering Across the Life Course: Sex, Relationships, and Mate Selection”. Journal of Marriage and the Family. 72 (3): 557–575. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00718.x. PMC 3399251. PMID 22822268.Iantaffi A, Bockting WO (March 2011).

Views from both sides of the bridge? Gender, sexual legitimacy and transgender people’s experiences of relationships”. Culture, Health & Sexuality. 13 (3): 355–70. doi:10.1080/13691058.2010.537770. PMC 3076785. PMID 21229422.

Number of U.S. adults cohabiting with a partner continues to rise, especially among those 50 and older”. Pew Research Center. 2017-04-06. Retrieved 2018-04-04.Blum D (2011-12-28).

Love According to Harry Harlow”. APS Observer. 25 (1).Suomi SJ, van der Horst FC, van der Veer R (December 2008).

Rigorous experiments on monkey love: an account of Harry F. Harlow’s role in the history of attachment theory”. Integrative Psychological & Behavioral Science. 42 (4): 354–69. doi:10.1007/s12124-008-9072-9. PMID 18688688.Kim S, Boldt LJ, Kochanska G (2015).

From parent-child mutuality to security to socialization outcomes: developmental cascade toward positive adaptation in preadolescence”. Attachment & Human Development. 17 (5): 472–91. doi:10.1080/14616734.2015.1072832. PMC 4840872. PMID 26258443.Kochanska G, Kim S (January 2014).

A complex interplay among the parent-child relationship, effortful control, and internalized, rule-compatible conduct in young children: evidence from two studies”. Developmental Psychology. 50 (1): 8–21. doi:10.1037/a0032330. PMC 3750102. PMID 23527491.Marceau K, Ram N, Susman E (September 2015).

Development and Lability in the Parent-Child Relationship During Adolescence: Associations With Pubertal Timing and Tempo”. Journal of Research on Adolescence. 25 (3): 474–489. doi:10.1111/jora.12139. PMC 4550307. PMID 26321856.

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Find Your Own Lucrative eBook Marketplace With Easy Illustrated eBooks Course

Did you know that there are more digital books now sold on Kindle, and other eReading devices than are sold as traditional print books? Just a few years ago this opened up amazing opportunities for the home publisher or author to provide content for this new medium.

This was and remains a ravenous buyers market. It was very simple in the beginning; it was easy to sell sub standard publications on Kindle. But a few years ago there was a change, eBooks came of age and the quality of the books sold on Kindle (and elsewhere) improved enormously.

The biggest change was Amazon were now offering quality Illustrated Ebooks and the sales went into the stratosphere and remain there today…Read more….

Source: Easy Illustrated eBooks Course | Steve King

.

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Game of Tongues: How Duolingo Built A $700 Million Business With Its Addictive Language-Learning App

Slack off on your daily Spanish lesson and a cellphone alert will auto-generate at the same time you used the app the day before. Duo appears on your screen as an emoji, nagging you to keep up with your drills.

Millions obey Duo’s commands. Created seven years ago by MacArthur “genius” computer geek Luis von Ahn, 40, Duolingo has hooked everyone from Bill Gates, Khloe Kardashian and Jack Dorsey to Syrian refugees in Turkey.

“The moment I felt proudest was when I realized, Wow, the richest man in the world is using the same system as the lowest people on the economic scale,” says Von Ahn. “That is for me really special and pretty big.”

Duolingo has lots of room to grow bigger still. More than 2 billion people worldwide are studying a foreign language, and increasingly they are doing it online. Digital language-learning generates $6 billion in revenue, and that number is projected to rise to $8.7 billion by 2025. But it’s a highly fragmented market with dozens of players scattered around the globe, and it’s begging for a dominant one.

Von Ahn certainly knows how to execute on a grand scale. When he was a 21-year-old grad student he gave the world CAPTCHA—better known to billions of internet users as those annoying squiggly letters that you have to transcribe to prove that you are not a bot. Later he sold two inventions to Google, netting more than $20 million.

He splurged on a Lamborghini and a Tesla Model S but otherwise leads a modest life, remaining in the six-bedroom house he bought with his ex-wife in Pittsburgh’s Point Breeze neighborhood, close to Duolingo’s offices. “I could have gone to Guatemala to live in a villa, but I didn’t want to,” he says. Instead, he has thrown himself into building the world’s most downloaded education app.

Duolingo already offers more languages than its competitors do, 36 at last count. They include little-spoken tongues like Hawaiian, Navajo and Gaelic and the fictional language High Valyrian from the HBO blockbuster Game of Thrones (1.2 million users are studying it). À la Wikipedia, Duolingo enlists volunteers to help create its more obscure courses.

Seven years after its launch, it has nearly 30 million active monthly users, according to its own figures. Venture capitalists have pumped in $108 million, ballooning Duolingo’s valuation to $700 million in 2017, $150 million more than the market capitalization of Rosetta Stone, its 27-year-old publicly traded rival.

Along with teaching more languages (Rosetta Stone offers 25), Duolingo attracts users because its basic ad-supported version is free, compared with the $120 a year Rosetta Stone charges its 500,000 subscribers. Another competitor, Berlin-based Babbel, says its revenue of more than $115 million comes from the $85-a-year subscription fee it charges its million-plus subscribers.

Only 1.75% of Duolingo’s users pay for its ad-free version ($84 a year), but because its base is so huge, revenue hit $36 million last year. Von Ahn says that will climb to $86 million in 2019 and $160 million in 2020 as more users sign on and pay for the premium app, which will attract them with new features. Employee head count will rise from 170 to 200 by year’s end.

Duolingo’s headquarters, in a converted furniture store in East Liberty, a gentrifying neighborhood not far from Google’s Pittsburgh office, is set to expand to a second floor. The company isn’t profitable, but Von Ahn says it will be cash-flow positive this year. He is planning an IPO by 2021.

He likes to say that the money he forfeits giving away the app is equivalent to the cost of his rivals’ bloated marketing budgets. He also boasts that users are less likely to quit Duolingo than they are to bail out of competing language apps. “Our retention is comparable to games,” he says.

The comparison is apt. Duolingo grabs users with gamification tricks like points, treasure chests and “streaks” for continuous use. The app’s three-minute lessons are designed with a simple interface. In a typical exercise, the sentence “I eat bread” appears above seven bubbled words. Drag the words onto a line, hit “check” and “You are correct” appears at the bottom of the screen with a satisfying chime. Fans tweet about funny sentences generated by the software, like “I am selling my mother-in-law for a euro.”

Duolingo has gotten bad press from writers who try the app and don’t learn much. But Von Ahn promises only to get users to a level between advanced beginner and early intermediate. “A significant portion of our users use it because it’s fun and it’s not a complete waste of time,” he says….Read more

In February 2018, I took on a new job managing and writing Forbes’ education coverage. I’d spent the previous two years on the Entrepreneurs team

Source: Game of Tongues: How Duolingo Built A $700 Million Business With Its Addictive Language-Learning App

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