Ways to Build Self-Esteem

Everybody experiences self-doubt from time to time. It’s a normal part of being human. When feelings of self-doubt last for long periods, however, you may have low self-esteem. “Low self-esteem is used to describe someone with a negative view of oneself, feelings of worthlessness and incompetence. Generally people fall on a continuum from low to high self-esteem, and this can vary from day to day and from situation to situation,” says Lori Ryland, a psychologist in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Fortunately, low self-esteem doesn’t have to be permanent. Recognizing symptoms of low self-esteem, understanding its causes and learning steps to thwart it can go a long way toward making you feeling worthy, valuable and confident.

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem can have many triggers and begin at any time in life. Some experts say low self-esteem is more the result of negative or traumatic experiences.

Others say low self-esteem stems from a critical inner voice. “Although it seems that our emotions and motivations result directly from the events and circumstances we encounter, they are instead reactions to our self-talk – the internal monologue that streams through our waking consciousness, interpreting whatever we experience and creating our perspective,” notes John Tholen, an author and retired psychologist who practiced in Southern California for more than 40 years.

Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

The symptoms of low self-esteem may be hard to recognize or admit to yourself.

Ryland says signs can include:

Or perhaps you may recognize certain habits of low self-esteem, such as being unable to set boundaries. “Letting others have their way and failing to stand up for oneself can occur,” Ryland says.

Ways to Build Self-Esteem

You can build self-esteem with many techniques. Here are 17 to get you started.

  • Get some perspective. Realize that many people experience low self-esteem, and you’re not alone. “Self-esteem issues are much more common than you might think,” says Noam Dinovitz, a therapist in Philadelphia. “It’s one of those issues that frankly is easy to hide.”
  • Give yourself a break. “Maybe you are ‘just right’ how you are. Maybe this is a learning time. Maybe this is how it is all supposed to be. Be kind to others, and be kind to yourself. It is OK if you take a break today,” says Lynn Zakeri, a therapist in Chicago.
  • Be aware of self-criticism. “Take note of what you are saying to yourself,” says Alyssa Friedman-Yan, a therapist in Wilton, Connecticut. “Demand proof for these harsh statements.”
  • Get a second opinion. “First, list a few people in your life whom you value, and the reasons why you value them. Next, when appropriate, ask them why they value you. Then compare the list,” says Aaron Weiner, a psychologist in Chicago. “Is there any overlap? Do you agree with their judgment of you?”

  • Redirect negative thoughts.Reframe that critical voice into a more supportive one. Did you make a mistake? Well, instead of, ‘I’m so stupid,’ how about saying, ‘I learned what not to do,’” says Natalie Bernstein, a psychologist in Pittsburgh.
  • Change your expectations. “Unrealistic expectations can set one up for failure and diminish self-worth,” says Dr. Rahul Gupta, a psychiatrist in Atlanta. “It is important to tell oneself that not meeting certain goals and expectations is permissible.”
  • Write down your definition of worth. Be specific. “When we use general phrases, it’s easy to say we don’t feel good, because we can’t even truly define what we’re saying,” Dinovitz points out. “Furthermore, make sure that the worth is coming from a healthy place. If all of our worth is coming from a source like our jobs or how many followers we have on social media, that’s not healthy.”
  • Set realistic goals. “Start small and start simple. Be proud of even the smallest accomplishments. Change is best when it’s gradual and not abrupt. I like to tell my clients, ‘We cannot get from point A to Z without traveling through the alphabet, so please stop trying to skip B and C. Leave a trail of breadcrumbs so you can see your accomplishment and feel it and find pride in it,’” Friedman-Yan says.
  • Take control of negative experiences. “If we’re able to find purpose in the negative things that have happened to us, then we are able to use our negative experiences to our advantage and are able to feel like we have more control over what happened to us,” notes Brooke Aymes, a therapist in Haddon Township, New Jersey.
  • Take stock of successes. If you’ve succeeded before, you can do it again. “Make a list of all your accomplishments and keep this handy. Review it and add to it often, especially when you’re feeling low,” Ryland advises.
  • Try being assertive in conversation. “Say something that takes courage. It may just be chiming in or an opinion, but assertiveness can help you walk taller,” Zakeri suggests.

  • Challenge Yourself. “Maybe you’ve always wanted to hike a mountain, sleep in a tent or go kayaking, yet you’ve never made time for the experience. The more we challenge ourselves to try new things, the more we see what we are truly capable of and it helps us to build self confidence in ourselves,” Aymes says.
  • Surround yourself with healthy relationships. “Individuals that make up a social support system provide a mirror for one’s positive image. Healthy relationships and social support systems also provide an example of positive values that one can strive to embrace,” Gupta explains.
  • Avoid social media. Many studies suggest that social media is harmful to self-esteem. For example, a review of 49 studies of college students or teens, published online Aug. 27, 2019, by Media Psychology found that comparing oneself to others on social media was often associated with lower self-esteem. “Whether what we see is accurate or not, it’s very difficult to see what everybody else is up to or accomplishing and then not compare that to ourselves,” Dinovitz says.
  • Be in service to others. Aymes advises clients to volunteer or perform random acts of kindness, such as paying for the road or bridge toll of a person behind you in traffic. “Being in service to others helps us to naturally feel like good humans and also makes the world a better place,” she notes.
  • Use affirmations. “Think of how easily you believe critical ones of yourself. Instead, try to choose a phrase or two that you want to believe about yourself. Write it down on a piece of paper and keep it in your pocket, or note it on your phone. When saying it, try to tap into the feeling of the affirmation, imagine what your life would be like if this were to be true. Practice is important here, so set a timer on your phone if you need help remembering throughout the day,” Bernstein recommends.
  • Seek professional help. Consider reaching out to a professional such as a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist. An expert can guide you through a number of types of talk therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, which utilizes many of the same strategies in this article, including identifying dysfunctional thoughts and refocusing them to be more positive. “We can improve both our outcomes and our state of mind by identifying – and shifting our attention to – reasonable alternative ideas that are more likely to inspire constructive action or hope,” Tholen says.

Finally, don’t beat yourself up if change doesn’t happen overnight. “A path to self-acceptance is often a long one and has many peaks and valleys,” Friedman-Yan says. “It takes effort and adaptation, and requires us to be mindful in our interactions with self and our world around us.”

By

Heidi Godman reports on health for U.S. News, with a focus on middle and older age. She has over two decades of experience and her work has appeared in dozens of publications, including the Harvard Health Letter (where she serves as executive editor), the Chicago Tribune, Orlando Sentinel and Cleveland Clinic Heart Advisor.

Source: Ways to Build Self-Esteem | US News

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12 Things You Should Do To Save Money In October

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In today’s world, it’s more important than ever to prepare for your financial future.

And one of the easiest ways to add to your nest-egg is to simply cut your biggest household expenses and save more of your hard earned money.

We often forget some of the golden rules to saving that our parents taught us. Here’s a quick list of things you can do to save on bills in 2019. No matter your circumstance, there’s something here that everyone can use like cutting down your mortgage bill and save on utilities.

1. Take Full Advantage Of These Tax Deductions

Owning a home can be very lucrative. Seriously, owning a home can not only give you a cheaper monthly payment than renting but in many cases, the tax benefits make the decision a no-brainer.

Here are a few of the larger deductions that you need to be sure to take:

Interest you pay on your mortgage: If you own a home and don’t have a mortgage greater than $750,000, you can deduct the interest you pay on the loan. This is one of the biggest benefits to owning a home versus renting–as you could get massive deductions at tax time. The limit used to be $1 million, but the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 (TCJA) reduced the limit and made some clarifications on deducting interest from a home equity line of credit.

Property taxes: Another awesome benefit to owning a home is the ability to deduct your property taxes. Before TCJA, the rules were a little more flexible and you were able to deduct the entirety of your property taxes. Now things have a changed a bit. Under the new law, you can deduct up to $10,000. The deduction for state and local income taxes was combined with the deduction for state and local property taxes, too.

Tax incentives for energy-efficient upgrades: While most of the tax incentives for making energy-efficient upgrades to your home have gone away, there are still a couple worth noting. You can still claim tax deductions on solar energy–both for electric and water heating equipment, through 2021. The longer you wait, though, the less money you’ll get back. Here’s the percentage of equipment you can deduct, based on time of installation:

Between January 1, 2017, and December 31, 2019 – 30% of the expenditures are eligible for the credit
Between January 1, 2020, and December 31, 2020 – 26%
Between January 1, 2021, and December 31, 2012 – 22%

2. Use Government Rebates To Get Solar Panels And Slash Your Energy Bills

Warning: Do not pay your next energy bill until you read this…

This is the 1 simple truth your power company doesn’t want you to know. There is a new policy in 2019 that qualifies homeowners who live in specific zip codes to be eligible for $1,000’s of Government funding to install solar panels. Has your power company told you that? Of course not. They hope homeowners don’t learn about this brilliant way to reduce your energy bill tremendously!

When homeowners check whether they qualify many are shocked that subsidies and rebates can cover a lot of the costs associated with installation so it greatly reduces the amount you’ll have to pay. Many may qualify for $0 down! Soon, you could be on your way to significantly reducing your electric bill in a matter of weeks.

Smart homeowners are setting out to do their own research and determine whether this new program lives up to its reputations. Over and over again, many are reporting back on their findings, with the most exciting part being that they are now able to save $1,000s a year on their own energy bill.

Estimate Your New Power Bill >>

3. Install CFLs or LED Lights Where You Can

New lighting technology has really come a long ways. Now although they do cost more than traditional incandescent bulbs, CFL and LED bulbs can last for years without having to replace them. You don’t even need to replace every bulb in the house at once. Even swapping just your four or five most-used light bulbs can save you $45 or more a year!

CFL vs. LED

CFLs, which use a quarter of the energy of incandescent bulbs and last for years, are the next cheapest option after traditional bulbs. But they also have some drawbacks: They take a while to warm up to full brightness, and they also contain a small amount of mercury.

Meanwhile, LEDs are more expensive. However, they’re getting cheaper all the time, and they are easily the best lighting option available: They light up instantly, are efficient as CFLs, produce a warm glow without getting hot to the touch, and can last for decades.

4. Automate Your Thermostat

One of the easiest things you can do to instantly start saving money on your heating and cooling bills is to get an automated thermostat. These smart thermostats will learn when you are home and make sure the home is at a comfortable setting during those hours.

You may even be able to get a rebate from your utility provider for installing one of these in your home. It’s a win-win!

5. Make A Grocery List

You ever go to the grocery store when you’re hungry and find yourself checking out with way more than you intended? We call this “Hunger Shopping” and it’s quite dangerous to your wallet!

Before going to get groceries, make a list of groceries that you need for the upcoming week. That way, you only buy what you’re intending to use and the amount that will get thrown away from being expired is kept to a minimal.

6. Buy in Bulk

One of the easiest things you can do to instantly start saving money is to buy in bulk! Retailers often give a MUCH better deal on products such as paper towel, toilet paper, detergent, etc if you buy in bulk.

This might seem like an obvious one, but we often forget how much money we waste by not buying in bulk.

7. Want a Patio? Consider Concrete Over Pavers

Building a patio can add great value to your home, as well as creating enjoyable outdoor living space for you and your family. But patios can come at a great cost.

When we decided to add a patio to our home, we looked at the different surface options carefully. Although many landscapers would recommend pavers over concrete because of their durability over time, we decided that the cost savings was more important to us. We personally love the clean look of concrete as well.

Now one thing to remember with concrete is that it WILL crack eventually. But if you have a good concrete crew, it should be prepped right where the cracks are minimal. So we expect to see cracks, but are hopeful that it will be minimal.

8. No Life Insurance? You’ll Want To Use This Brilliant Life Insurance Trick

If you don’t have life insurance, you better read this.

It’s not something any of us like to think about or plan for. But when the worst happens, it’s essential to know your family and loved ones are covered financially. That’s why it’s essential to have a life insurance. A good life insurance policy can help cover the cost of a mortgage, childcare costs and safeguard your family from inheriting any debts you might have.

 

But the sad truth is, a shocking number of Americans do not have a life insurance policy and their family is at financial risk if the worst should happen.

There is a service that is now allowing users to get free life insurance quotes from some of the top insurance companies out there. People are shocked at how cheap an excellent policy is after requesting their free quotes. But the reality is, life insurance rates are at a 20-year low and thanks to new program policies you could qualify for a great new policy at an extremely affordable price.

To get your free quote today, click below and complete a few questions (about 60 seconds). Once you’re done, you will be presented with choices and rates you never thought possible (no login required). Enjoy your savings!

Get Your Free Quote Now >>

9. Give Your Air Conditioner Some Space

Just like we need to breathe, your air conditioner needs space where it’s getting air easily. Many AC units are surrounded by shrubs that can restrict the airflow it needs to run efficiently. Take a few minutes this weekend and do the following:

Trim up any bushes that are are touching the unit so there is at least 1 foot of clearance

Clean up the ground for any loose debris or leaves

If the outside of the unit has a lot of debris clogging it up, consider having a professional service and clean it out

10. New Auto Insurance Policy

Here’s what auto insurance companies don’t want you to know…and what thousands of consumers are quickly learning about their current auto insurance plan:

If you’re paying more than $63 per month for auto insurance, this auto insurance comparison tool can help you check to see if you’re overpaying in a few minutes. This is something every driver should be doing every 6 months or so to ensure that they are getting the best deal.

 

Insurance companies are always competing to win your business, but if you turn a blind eye and keep the same policy in place for a long period of time, your rates might have increased. By checking rates, drivers saved an average of $531 per year with a new policy.

So do yourself a favor and do a quick comparison by filling out a short form (about 4 minutes). This is a fast way you can start saving on your auto bills.

Compare Auto Insurance Rates >>

11. Veterans Get a Massive Discount at Lowes

All active military and veterans are entitled to get a 10% discount on all in-store purchases at Lowe’s.

To make it even better, Lowe’s extends this offer to their spouses! Need new tools? How about new appliances? How about a kitchen remodel? Lowe’s carries a variety of things, so take advantage of this incredible discount!

12. Born Before 1985? Get $3,000/year Taken Off Your Mortgage With The Government’s New “Enhanced Relief” Program

Banks Don’t Want Homeowners Knowing This

Still unknown to many is a brilliant Government Program called the Freddie Mac Enhanced Relief Refinance Program (FMERR) that could benefit millions of Americans and reduce their payments by as much as $3,000 per year! You could bet the banks aren’t too thrilled about losing all that profit and might secretly hope homeowners don’t find out before time runs out.

 

So while the banks happily wait for this program to end, the Government is making a final push and urging homeowners to take advantage. This program is currently active but could be shut down at any given time in 2019. But the good news is that once you’re in, you’re in. If lowering your payments, paying off your mortgage faster, and even taking some cash out would help you, it’s vital you act now and see if you could qualify for FMERR or a better rate in today’s marketplace.

Source: https://article.expense-cutter.com/save-big-this-year-with-these-useful-tips-fbvlm

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It’s not about how much money you earn. It’s what you do with the money that matters. In this video, I’m going to show you a business strategy on how to manage your money. I’m not gonna tell you what to invest in. That’s not my role. Here are the best ideas of what the best professionals do to manage their money. Learn more from Tom LIVE at the next Summit event: https://tfi.media/2UC21rg ———— I hope you got some helpful tips and new ideas from this video. To ensure you don’t miss all my FREE training videos all you have to do is sign up here with your email: http://bit.ly/TomFerry-VideoTraining Get a FREE copy of my new book: http://bit.ly/2Bblstw Download FREE Agent Scripts and Resources: http://bit.ly/2iDEjpJ Tom Ferry Coaching: http://bit.ly/2eP8UlA Tom Ferry Events: http://bit.ly/2gQBjbD Join Tom’s VIP List: http://bit.ly/2sMb73n ————- Connect with me on my other social channels: Website – http://TomFerry.com Facebook – http://facebook.com/TomFerry Twitter – http://twitter.com/TomFerry YouTube – http://youtube.com/CoachTomFerry Instagram – http://instagram.com/TomFerry Podcast – http://soundcloud.com/CoachTomFerry

 

Bridging The Gap Mega Self Help – Fully Done For You Info Product In A Booming Market And Cash In Without The Hard Work

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How many of times have you heard that saying? While it may make sense intellectually to most people, living out this saying is another thing altogether. You know it, and I know it. There are many things we know should work in our lives, but in reality, they don’t. They don’t even stand a prayer. Belief powers successful action. This is the reality. While we can say to ourselves that believing to achieve is possible for others, but not possible for us, we still have to confront this reality. If you look at any successful person, from multimillionaires to billionaires, to captains of industry……….

Read more: http://deals.blazewellnessresources.com/bridging-the-gap-sp1/

How To Stop Taking Things Personally – Frances Bridges

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When people disrespect you or do not treat you well, it is easy to take their behavior personally, to blame yourself and think you have anything to do with someone else’s behavior. Taking things personally is emotionally draining, and an unnecessary, constant reevaluation of your self-esteem. There’s a difference between being reflective and constantly taking slights personally, one is productive and lends itself to self improvement, the other is the opposite…….

Read more: https://www.forbes.com/sites/francesbridges/2018/06/29/how-to-stop-taking-things-personally/#60a056b76726

 

 

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Reclaim Your Time – Branding Yourself As An Authority Figure While Giving Life-Changing Information To Your Customers

Reclaim Your Time is our Best Creation in Self-Help niche yet! And we’re handing it over to you so that you can offer tremendous value to your existing self-help audiences or even kickstart your very own self-help empire! So here’s your chance to grab Reclaim Your Time along with Private Label Rights! Meaning you can take this product and brand it as your OWN.

Reclaim Your Time is a 100% brand new and unique Ebook that contains the latest and most up-to-date information on “Time-Management” that was written with heart and real-life experience. Packed with over 10,000+ words written in thoughtful way that will ‘talk’ to your readers, creating 100% engagement and bring your readers into the awe. Every bit of information has no fluff, but quality content that your users are gonna LOVE……

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