10 Persuasive Writing Techniques To 10X Your Marketing Copy

Persuasion is a powerful word for anyone in the marketing space. The ultimate goal of your marketing, after all, is to persuade people to buy from you. But how do you persuade people when everyone seems to sell them something? What tools do you have at your disposal to make your writing more persuasive?

Today, I want to answer all these questions for you by first showing you the persuasion strategy a Nobel-winning laureate developed that will transform the way you write your copy.

Then, I want to share my favorite ten persuasive techniques that will 10x your copy fast.

Let’s get started.

What Is Persuasive Writing?

Persuasive writing is a method that leverages human biases to make a message more attractive in the eye of the recipient.

How to Be Persuasive: A Psychological Explanation

If I asked you whether you are a rational or an irrational person, what would you say? Most likely, you’d pick the former. Sure, you can get emotional every so often, but most likely, you are in charge of your emotions, thoughts, and actions.

Other people are dumb and irrational, but you’re not. You’re different. In reality, all humans fall for the same irrational behaviors and thinking patterns. We consistently make cognitive mistakes that go against our self-interest, despite our deepest efforts not to make them.

Consider smoking: every smoker knows he should stop doing it, but they can’t stop. Most smokers want to quit, but their addictions are simply too strong. It’s not that they can’t stop; it’s that they won’t. We can say the same of highly indebted people; these are people who have maxed out their cards, yet they keep buying shit they don’t need.

Before the 1970s, economists used to think people were rational. Every decision people took was in favor of maximizing their utility—whether that was comfort, health, money, or anything else. Leave people be people, and they’ll do fine. If only it were so easy.

From the 70s onwards, some fringe economists started to question the normative view of human behavior in favor of a more descriptive one; a theory that could explain, for example, why people who win three bets in a row at the casino think they have a higher likelihood of keeping their winning streak, despite having no probabilistic (i.e., rational) reason to believe so. “They’re idiots,” you’d say, but it’s more than that. It’s that they’re humans; they can be irrational when given a chance.

I won’t dwell on the details of their “prospect theory,” as explained in their seminal paper of the same name, but on another part of their extensive theoretical bibliography, one that focuses on the way humans think. According to Kahneman, who wrote the best-selling book Thinking, Fast and Slow based on his extensive research with Tversky, humans think through a pair systems:

  1. The “Automatic System.”
  2. The “Reflective System.”

In Kahneman’s words:

System 1 operates automatically and quickly, with little or no effort and no sense of voluntary control.

System 2 allocates attention to the effortful mental activities that demand it, including complex computations. The operations of System 2 are often associated with the subjective experience of agency, choice, and concentration.

While both systems work in tandem, more often than not, system 1 takes over the system 2, without us realizing it, making us do things we often can’t explain.

When we think of ourselves, we identify with System 2, the conscious, reasoning self that has beliefs, makes choices, and decides what to think about and what to do. Although System 2 believes itself to be where the action is, the automatic System 1 is the hero of the book.

I describe System 1 as effortlessly originating impressions and feelings that are the main sources of the explicit beliefs and deliberate choices of System 2. The automatic operations of System 1 generate surprisingly complex patterns of ideas, but only the slower System 2 can construct thoughts in an orderly series of steps.

The main takeaway from Kahneman’s theory is that as a marketer, your goal is to work with your prospect’s system 1. This system is what influences the rationale of your prospects, whether they’re aware of it or not.

If you ever made a purchase where everything “felt” right—a situation in which you didn’t need to be sold anything, you just wanted to buy that product—then your system 1 was influencing your system 2, thus overriding any second thought you may have had against that purchase.

System 1 continuously generates suggestions for System 2: impressions, intuitions, intentions, and feelings. If endorsed by System 2, impressions and intuitions turn into beliefs, and impulses turn into voluntary actions.

When all goes smoothly, which is most of the time, System 2 adopts the suggestions of System 1 with little or no modification. You generally believe your impressions and act on your desires, and that is fine—usually.

What I’m covering is just a tiny piece of Kahneman and Tversky’s theories; there’s a whole lot more to write about how both systems work and how biases influence people’s thinking.

For now, I want you to remember this:

The entire list of persuasive techniques featured in this article focus on leveraging your prospect’s system 1. If you use these persuasive techniques in your writing or advertising, you’ll be persuasive.

Let’s now take a quick look at a simple persuasion strategy you can use and adapt within your marketing campaigns.

A Simple Persuasion Strategy

To use the persuasion strategies laid below, you want to have a strategy that helps you tie all of them together in a logical fashion.

To this extent, I’ll use Roger Dooley’s Persuasion Slide, which he structured in the following way: Here’s how this slide works:

  1. You start by giving a “nudge” to your visitors by having them pay attention to an ad, an offer, or something of value.
  2. Then, you leverage the target’s internal motivation—the gravity; and,
  3. You add additional motivation—your angle.
  4. Both things allow you to overcome resistance—friction—and get to your ultimate goal, which can be a purchase, a subscription, or anything else.

The ten persuasion writing techniques you’ll see below will touch in any of the four elements of the persuasion slide. Whenever you pick one of the techniques, you’ll be affecting of these four elements.

Whatever technique you pick, make sure to remember the ultimate goal: having your visitor continue down the slide. And yes, the following list of persuasive writing techniques will work with your prospect’s system 1. I didn’t forget about that.

Without further ado, let’s dive deep into the ten techniques that will show you how to write persuasively…...Continue reading..

Ivan Kreimer profile photo

 

By: Ivan Kreimer

Source: 10 Persuasive Writing Techniques to 10X Your Marketing Copy

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Related contents:

Orality and Literacy: The Technologizing of the Word. London: Methuen. ISBN 9780415027960.Haas, Christina. (1996). Writing technology: Studies on the materiality of literacy. Mahwah, NJ: L. Erlbaum Associates.

Institutional Ethnography: A Sociology for People. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. pp. 105–108. ISBN 978-0-7591-0502-7.Anderson, Jack. (2008). “The Collection and Organization of Written Knowledge.” In Handbook of Research on Writing, ed. Charles Bazerman, New York: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 177-190.

A Short History of the World. p. 41.Bazerman, Charles (2013). “Literacy and the Organization of Society”. A Theory of Literate Action, Vol. 2 (PDF). Anderson, SC: Parlor Press. p. 193. ISBN 978-1-60235-477-7. Archived (PDF) from the original on 22 August 2020. Retrieved 27 August 2020.

“Endangered Literacies? Affordances of Paper-Based Literacy in Medical Practice and Its Persistence in the Transition to Digital Technology”. Written Communication. 34 (4): 359–386. doi:10.1177/0741088317723304. ISSN 0741-0883. S2CID 149050969.

The World’s Writing Systems. Peter T. Daniels, William Bright. New York: Oxford University Press. 1996. pp. 3–4. ISBN 0-19-507993-0. OCLC 31969720. Archived from the original on 30 July 2022. Retrieved 7 July 2022.

“The Khipu Database Project”. Archived from the original on 22 July 2011. Retrieved 2 November 2008.Chandler, Daniel (1990). “Do the write thing?”. Electric Word. 17: 27–30.Chandler, Daniel (1992). “The phenomenology of writing by hand”. Intelligent Tutoring Media. 3 (2/3): 65–74. doi:10.1080/14626269209408310.

Wilford, John Noble (15 September 2006). “Writing May Be Oldest in Western Hemisphere”. The New York Times. Archived from the original on 27 July 2018. Retrieved 30 March 2008. A stone slab bearing 3,000-year-old writing previously unknown to scholars has been found in the Mexican state of Veracruz,

Oldest’ New World writing found”. BBC. Archived from the original on 3 April 2008. Retrieved 30 March 2008. Ancient civilisations in Mexico developed a writing system as early as 900 BC, new evidence suggests.Rodríguez Martínez, Maria del Carmen; et al. (2006).

“Oldest Writing in the New World”. Science. 313 (5793): 1610–1614. Bibcode:2006Sci…313.1610R. doi:10.1126/science.1131492. PMID 16973873. S2CID 35140904. Archived from the original on 30 March 2008. Retrieved 30 March 2008. A block with a hitherto unknown system of writing has been found in the Olmec heartland of Veracruz, Mexico.Saturno, William A.; David Stuart; Boris Beltrán (3 March 2006).

“Early Maya Writing at San Bartolo, Guatemala”. Science. 311 (5765): 1281–1283. Bibcode:2006Sci…311.1281S. doi:10.1126/science.1121745. PMID 16400112. S2CID 46351994. Archived from the original on 30 July 2022. Retrieved 29 November 2019.

“Ancient writing found in Turkmenistan”. BBC. 15 May 2001. Archived from the original on 7 December 2008. Retrieved 30 March 2008. A previously unknown civilisation was using writing in Central Asia 4,000 years ago, hundreds of years before Chinese writing developed, archaeologists have discovered.  

The Cambridge History of Ancient China. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. pp. 74–123. ISBN 978-0-521-47030-8.“Archaeologists Rewrite History”. China Daily. 12 June 2003. Archived from the original on 26 October 2018. Retrieved 4 January 2012.Rincon, Paul (17 April 2003).

“‘Earliest writing’ found in China”. BBC News. Archived from the original on 20 March 2012. Retrieved 4 January 2012. Signs carved into 8,600-year-old tortoise shells found in China may be the earliest written words, say archaeologistsGoldwasser, Orly. “How the Alphabet Was Born from Hieroglyphs”, Biblical Archaeology Review, Mar/Apr 2010

“Cretan writing in the second millennium B.C.” World Archaeology. 17 (3): 377–389. doi:10.1080/00438243.1986.9979977. S2CID 163509308. Archived from the original on 30 July 2022. Retrieved 29 November 2019.Whitehouse, David (1999). “

‘Earliest writing’ found Archived 2 February 2020 at the Wayback Machine” BBCFarrell, William J. (1992). “The Power of Writing”. The WAC Journal. 3 (2): 1–3. doi:10.37514/WAC-J.1992.3.2.02. ISSN 1544-4929.

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How Bullying Manifests at Work and How To Stop It

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The term workplace bullying describes a wide range of behaviors, and this complexity makes addressing it difficult and often ineffective. For example, most anti-bullying advice, from “anger management” to zero-tolerance policies, deals with more overt…

While the organizational costs of incivility and toxicity are well documented, bullying at work is still a problem. An estimated 48.6 million Americans, or about 30% of the workforce, are bullied at work. In India, that percentage is reported to be as high as 46% or even 55%. In Germany, it’s a lower but non-negligible 17%. Yet bullying often receives little attention or effective action.

To maximize workplace health and well-being, it’s critical to create workplaces where all employees — regardless of their position — are safe. Systemic, organizational-level approaches can help prevent the harms associated with different types of bullying.

The term workplace bullying describes a wide range of behaviors, and this complexity makes addressing it difficult and often ineffective. Here, we’ll discuss the different types of bullying, the myths that prevent leaders from addressing it, and how organizations can effectively intervene and create a safer workplace.

The Different Types of Bullying

To develop more comprehensive systems of bullying prevention and support employees’ psychological well-being, leaders first need to be aware of the different types of bullying and how they show up. We’ve identified 15 different features of bullying, based on standard typologies of aggression, data from the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI), and Ludmila’s 25+ years of research and practice focused on addressing workplace aggression, discrimination, and incivility to create healthy organizational cultures.

These 15 features can be mapped to some of the common archetypes of bullies. Take the “Screamer,” who is associated with yelling and fist-banging or the quieter but equally dangerous “Schemer” who uses Machiavellian plotting, gaslighting, and smear campaigns to strip others of resources or push them out.

The Schemer doesn’t necessarily have a position of legitimate power and can present as a smiling and eager-to-help colleague or even an innocent-looking intern. While hostile motivation and overt tactics align with the Screamer bully archetype and instrumental, indirect, and covert bullying is typical of the Schemer, a bully can have multiple motives and use multiple tactics — consciously or unconsciously.

Caroline mediated a situation that illustrates both conscious and unconscious dynamics. At the reception to celebrate Ewa’s* national-level achievement award, Harper, her coworker, spent most of the time talking about her own accomplishments, then took the stage to congratulate herself on mentoring Ewa and letting her take “ownership” of their collective work. But there had been no mentorship or collective work.

After overtly and directly putting Ewa down and (perhaps unconsciously) attempting to elevate herself, Harper didn’t stop. She “accidentally” removed Ewa from crucial information distribution lists — an act of indirect, covert sabotage.  

In another example, Ludmila encountered a mixed-motive, mixed-tactic situation. Charles, a manager with a strong xenophobic sentiment, regularly berated Noor, a work visa holder, behind closed doors — an act of hostile and direct bullying. Motivated by a desire to take over the high-stakes, high-visibility projects Noor had built, Charles also engaged in indirect, covert bullying by falsifying performance records to make a case for her dismissal.

Workplace Bullying Myths

Common myths about bullying — for example, that it’s simply “holding people to high standards” or having a “competitive personality” — suggest that bullying does not harm and may even spur performance. However, bullying and the myths about it hinder outcomes.

A common assumption is that bullies are often star performers and that high performance justifies bad behavior. However, the actual star performers are more likely to be targets than bullies. Bullies are usually mediocre performers who may appear to be stars, while in fact they often take credit for the work of others. Moreover, bullies are not motivated by organizational goals.

They’re driven by self-interest, often at the expense of organizations. Research indicates that bullies often envy and covertly victimize organization-focused high performers — those who are particularly capable, caring, and conscientious. Not only are bullies not the stars, but one toxic employee negates the gains of the performance of two superstars and likely creates additional costs.

The “motivation” myth justifies bullying as “management” or “motivation,” helping low-performing individuals improve. Indeed, low performers are more likely to experience bullying than mediocre ones — but it does not help them improve. Rather, it can further hinder performance, creativity, collaboration, and delivering on business goals due to employee distress.

Ineffective Interventions

Research has thoroughly documented that bullying is detrimental to individuals’ productivity and organizational outcomes. Unfortunately, even when organizations attempt to address it, the interventions are rarely effective.

Traditional methods of addressing bullying tend to be unsuccessful for several key reasons…..Read more…

Source: How Bullying Manifests at Work — and How to Stop It

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Why More and More Girls Are Hitting Puberty Early

Megan Gray was eight years old when she got her first period. She was playing hide-and-seek with her older sister and a friend at their friend’s house in suburban Sacramento. She was wearing pink jeans, which she had saved up for a long time to buy. She tied a sweatshirt around her waist to hide the bloodstain, and, later, threw the ruined pink jeans away; when her mother asked where they’d gone, she threw a tantrum to deflect the question.

Gray had a close relationship with her mom, but she was so young that they’d had no conversations about puberty; her older sister had not yet gotten her period. “There was nothing, no context for understanding,” Gray told me. “I knew what a period was—I didn’t think I was dying or anything. But still, I didn’t tell anyone for months. I just used wadded-up toilet paper. It felt so awkward and shameful.” She did eventually talk with her mom about it. But this was the nineteen-eighties.

“It wasn’t some big informational session. It was very Gen X—you just dealt with things by yourself and got on with it.” Gray was taller than her peers and wore layers of tops to conceal her developing breasts. She estimates that she was a C-cup by fifth grade. “There were assumptions about me because I had boobs. And I had never even kissed anyone. I was lucky, because nothing traumatic occurred. Yet I do think that there is a trauma in being sexualized.”

Maritza Gualy got her first period when she was eight going on nine, at the end of the eighties. Her mom showed her how to use a thick Kotex pad. Eventually, her older sister introduced her to o.b. tampons—the ones with no applicator; they were small and easier to hide. The sisters, whose parents were Colombian immigrants, attended a majority-white Catholic school in Nashville.

Her school uniform had no pockets, so whenever Gualy had her period, she had to hide tampons in her bra or in the waistband of her skirt. One day, an o.b. fell out of her skirt when she and her classmates were sitting on the rug together. Later, when they were back at their desks for a spelling test, Gualy recalled, “the teacher went around from kid to kid with the tampon. ‘Is this yours?’ ‘Is this yours?’ Except she was only asking the more well-developed girls! I knew I wasn’t going to admit to it.”

In fifth grade, Gualy’s best friend got her period, and she was upset to learn that Gualy had started hers more than a year earlier and hadn’t mentioned anything. “But I already felt so othered,” Gualy said, “and I didn’t want to add to that.” When Gray and Gualy were kids, pediatricians thought that the average age of onset of puberty in girls—defined in most medical literature as thelarche, when breast tissue begins to develop—was about eleven years old. Menarche, or first period, was thought to happen around age thirteen.

Only a small percentage of girls had started puberty by the age of eight, much less started menstruating.  But, by the two-thousands, new research had found that eighteen per cent of white girls, thirty-one per cent of Hispanic girls, and forty-three per cent of Black girls had entered thelarche by age eight, according to a study published in 2010.

Often, these girls were taller than most of their peers and showed other signs of accelerated physical maturation, such as pubic hair and underarm odor. Thelarche typically presages the onset of menstruation by two to three years, meaning that some of these girls would have to deal with the mess and discomfort of a monthly period before they’d finished elementary school.

Researchers and physicians hypothesized about possible causes for the increase in early puberty, such as increasing rates of obesity; greater exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals found in food, plastics, and personal-care products; and stressful or abusive home environments. Then, during the coronavirus pandemic, pediatric endocrinologists saw a new surge of referrals for girls with early puberty.

Recent retrospective studies from Germany and Turkey show that the number of these referrals doubled or even tripled during the lockdown periods of 2020 (this at a time when many families may have been avoiding non-emergency doctor’s visits for fear of COVID-19). A paper published in August in the journal Frontiers in Pediatrics, which analyzed data from South Korea’s national statistics portal, found that the number of children diagnosed with precocious puberty almost doubled between 2016 and 2021, with a sharp post-2020 spike.

The rise in early puberty “is a phenomenon that is occurring all over the world,” Frank M. Biro, the former director of the adolescent-medicine division at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center, told me. (Although there has also been a rise among boys, girls experiencing early puberty still vastly outnumber them.)

The new data may offer some safety in numbers to early-developing girls—if Gray and Gualy were growing up today, they might have found a friend or two on the same accelerated track. But early puberty is associated with a daunting list of adverse physical and psychological outcomes: various studies have suggested that early-maturing girls are at greater risk for developing obesity, breast cancer, eating disorders, depression, and a range of behavioral issues.

Especially in the midst of what is increasingly understood to be a post-COVID youth mental-health crisis, the startling new uptick in early puberty is troubling to some physicians and parents. But, because the spike appears to have been triggered within a compressed, well-defined timeframe, it also offers rich terrain for better understanding the condition’s causes and effects.

It also provides a chance to rethink puberty: to see it not as a gateway into adulthood but as another stage of childhood—one that is highly variable from kid to kid and need not be cause for alarm. “We are in a great natural experiment at the moment, and we might not know the results of it for another ten years or more,” Louise Greenspan, a pediatric endocrinologist at Kaiser Permanente, San Francisco, said.

“I do wonder if this is going to be a cohort of kids whose puberty was more rapid because they were in a critical window of susceptibility during a time of great social upheaval.” For generations, pediatricians have referred to a table of pubertal development known as Tanner stages, named for the pediatric endocrinologist James Tanner, one of the lead investigators of the landmark Harpenden Growth Study, conducted from 1949 to 1971 at a charity home for orphaned and neglected children in a suburb of London.

There, hundreds of boys and girls were photographed naked at three-month intervals. Although the data for the Tanner scale were gathered from kids of a narrow demographic—white, thin, and bearing the internal scars of trauma or adversity in their formative years—it established, in a pair of papers published in 1969, our modern benchmarks of puberty: five distinct stages, ranging from prepubertal to fully developed.

On average, the girls in the study began showing breast buds—the “Tanner II” stage—at age eleven or so, and began menstruating between thirteen and fourteen. Early puberty is identified through physical examination, blood tests to measure levels of sex hormones, and a bone X-ray to estimate “bone age”—how close a child’s skeletal system is to reaching maturation.

Puberty typically begins in girls when the pituitary gland starts secreting hormones known as gonadotropins; these hormones cause the ovaries to grow and to produce estrogen, the sex hormone that triggers the development of secondary sex characteristics…Read more

Source: Why More and More Girls Are Hitting Puberty Early | The New Yorker

Related contents:

Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships … – Sarah Attwood – Google BooksErections in Babies | LIVESTRONG.COMWhat’s Happening to My Body? Book for Boys: Revised Edition – Lynda Madaras – Google Books

What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Girls: Revised Edition – Lynda Madaras – Google BooksØster J (April 1968). “Further Fate of the Foreskin: Incidence of Preputial Adhesions, Phimosis, and Smegma among Danish Schoolboys”. Arch Dis Child. 43 (228): 200–202. doi:10.1136/adc.43.228.200. PMC 2019851. PMID 5689532.

Kayaba H, Tamura H, Kitajima S, Fujiwara Y, Kato T, Kato T (November 1996). “Analysis of Shape and Retractability of the Prepuce in 603 Japanese Boys”. J Urol. American Urological Association, Inc. 156 (5): 1813–1815. doi:10.1016/S0022-5347(01)65544-7. PMID 8863623.Ishikawa E, Kawakita M (2004). “Preputial development in Japanese boys”. Hinyokika Kiyo. 50 (5): 305–8. PMID 15237481.

Beaugé M (1997). “The causes of adolescent phimosis”. Br J Sex Med (Sept/Oct): 26.“Circumcision Policy Statement”. Pediatrics. 103 (3): 686–93. 1999. doi:10.1542/peds.103.3.686. PMID 10049981.Krueger H, Osborn L (1986). “Effects of hygiene among the uncircumcised”. J Fam Pract. 22 (4): 353–5. PMID 3958682.Birley HD, Luzzi GA, Bell R (1993).

“Clinical features and management of recurrent balanitis: association with atopy and genital washing”. Genitourin Med. 69 (5): 400–403. doi:10.1136/sti.69.5.400. PMC 1195128. PMID 8244363.“Puberty — Changes for Males”. pamf.org. Retrieved 2009-02-20.“Getting The Facts: Puberty”. ppwr. Archived from the original on 2008-01-04. Retrieved 2009-02-20.“The No-Hair Scare”. PBS. Archived from the original on 2009-02-05. Retrieved 2009-02-20.

“The structure of the larynx”. Encyclopædia Britannica. Retrieved 2009-02-20.Marshall & Tanner (1986), p. 187.Marshall & Tanner (1986), p. 188.Tanner JM, Davies PS (1985). “Clinical longitudinal standards for height and height velocity for North American children”. The Journal of Pediatrics. 107 (3): 317–329. doi:10.1016/S0022-3476(85)80501-1. PMID 3875704.Gordon & Laufer (2005), p. 151.Marshall & Tanner (1986), pp. 186–187.Rosenfield (2002), p. 462.

Siegel MJ, Surratt JT (1992). “Pediatric gynecologic imaging”. Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America. 19 (1): 103–127. doi:10.1016/S0889-8545(21)00504-0. PMID 1584537.Anderson SE, Dallal GE, Must A (April 2003). “Relative weight and race influence average age at menarche: results from two nationally representative surveys of US girls studied 25 years apart”. Pediatrics. 111 (4 Pt 1): 844–850. doi:10.1542/peds.111.4.844. PMID 12671122.

Al-Sahab B, Ardern CI, Hamadeh MJ, Tamim H (2010). “Age at menarche in Canada: results from the National Longitudinal Survey of Children & Youth”. BMC Public Health. 10 (1): 736. doi:10.1186/1471-2458-10-736. PMC 3001737. PMID 21110899.Hamilton-Fairley, Diana (2004). Obstetrics and Gynaecology (PDF) (2nd ed.). Blackwell Publishing. Archived from the original (PDF) on 2018-10-09. Retrieved 2013-11-09.

Apter D (1980). “Serum steroids and pituitary hormones in female puberty: a partly longitudinal study”. Clinical Endocrinology. 12 (2): 107–120. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2265.1980.tb02125.x. PMID 6249519. S2CID 19913395.Marshall & Tanner (1986), pp. 196–197.Southam AL, Richart RM (1966). “The prognosis for adolescents with menstrual abnormalities”. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. 94 (5): 637–645. doi:10.1016/0002-9378(66)90398-X. PMID 5906589.

“Hips widen during female puberty”. Columbia. Retrieved 2013-11-09.Gungor & Arslanian (2002), pp. 699–700.Rosenfield (2002), p. [page needed].Kalloo NB, Gearhart JP, Barrack ER (1993). “Sexually dimorphic expression of estrogen receptors, but not of androgen receptors in human fetal external genitalia”. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism. 77 (3): 692–698. doi:10.1210/jcem.77.3.8370691. PMID 8370691.

Andersson KE, Wein AJ (2004). “Pharmacology of the Lower Urinary Tract: Basis for Current and Future Treatments of Urinary Incontinence”. Pharmacological Reviews. 56 (4): 581–631. doi:10.1124/pr.56.4.4. PMID 15602011. S2CID 15746586.

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Kaplowitz PB, Slora EJ, Wasserman RC, Pedlow SE, Herman-Giddens ME (2001). “Earlier onset of puberty in girls: relation to increased body mass index and race”. Pediatrics. 108 (2): 347–53. doi:10.1542/peds.108.2.347. PMID 11483799.Nelson RJ. 2005. Introduction to Behavioral Endocrinology. Sinauer Associates: Massachusetts. p357.

Zuckerman, Diana (May 2009). “Early Puberty in Girls”. National Research Center for Women and Families. Archived from the original on 2013-11-09. Retrieved 2010-07-13. Based on a publication from The Ribbon, a newsletter of the Cornell University Program on Breast Cancer and Environmental Risk Factors in New York States ((BCERF), Vol 6, No. 1, Winter 2001.)

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Hugh Jones, ed. (2008). “Chapter 9. Puberty & Fertility”. Testosterone Deficiency in Men. Oxford Endocrinology Library. Oxford University Press. ISBN 978-0199545131.[page needed]Finley, Harry. “Average age at menarche in various cultures”. Museum of Menstruation and Women’s Health. Retrieved 2007-08-02.

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The Difference Between Empathy and People Pleasing

At some point or another, you’ve likely acted with another person’s thoughts or feelings in mind, rather than making your own the first priority. That’s not inherently bad or negative, either; compassion is part of being a good human.

But sometimes it’s hard to parse whether you’re acting out of empathy or more so the desire to placate. Ultimately, the difference between empathy and people-pleasing comes down to that guiding intention, along with the way your behavior makes you feel in the moment and beyond.

While empathy and people-pleasing are certainly related, in that both can involve taking on actions that prioritize someone else over yourself, they’re more like cousins than siblings, says clinical psychologist Ellen Hendriksen, PhD, author of How To Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.

“Fundamentally, empathy is an ability. It allows us to feel what others are feeling or to really understand what they’re thinking,” she says. “By contrast, people-pleasing is a behavior. It typically happens in response to an internal fear of being criticized or rejected by the other person.”

In other words, if you’re an empath or empathetic person, you’re likely to embody that trait with most everyone, but a people-pleasing behavior can flip on or off depending on the situation. Even so, spotting the difference between empathy and people-pleasing in action can be tough, as both can involve a good deal of feelings. Below, experts share the key differences between empathy and people-pleasing in practice, and why it’s important to stop the latter in its tracks.

How to distinguish between empathy and people-pleasing, according to psychologists

Both people-pleasers and empathizers tend to look kind and compassionate in action. But the main difference between the two springs from the initial motivation. “Healthy empathy is driven by tuning in to the experiences of others and responding in connective ways, whereas people-pleasing comes from endeavoring to gratify others, often at the expense of your own best interests,” says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of Joy From Fear

“Empathy is driven by tuning in to the experiences of others and responding in connective ways, whereas people-pleasing comes from endeavoring to gratify others.” —Carla Marie Manly, PhD

Typically, that attempt to placate another person is not coming from genuine concern or understanding for how that person feels (as is the case with empathy) but instead, from an internal desire for validation or conflict avoidance. “As a result, a people-pleaser will often chronically override their needs in order to meet others’ demands by either sacrificing personal time, being the go-to person for favors, or tolerating toxic behaviors,” says Dr. Manly.

Over time, key differences between empathy and people-pleasing will turn up in the end result of interactions, too. With empathy, the connection to others generally feels good. “You might lend a sympathetic ear to a friend, feel solidarity with a cause, or be the social explainer in a situation because you ‘get’ or can sense what’s going on,” says Dr. Henriksen. “Empaths and empathetic people thrive on this connection—which is satisfying and fulfilling.” By contrast, people-pleasing tends to leave you feeling drained or resentful, says Dr. Henriksen, as you seek out some return in exchange for all the placating.

To check in with yourself in the moment, then, it’s helpful to scout for these emotions: Are your behaviors to support someone else leaving you feeling connected and whole, or are they draining your resources? Do your acts of compassion leave you satisfied, or are you looking for a tit-for-tat dose of validation?

If it’s the latter, in either case, you’ve likely fallen into the people-pleasing trap, which Dr. Manly says is more common in folks who lack self-esteem, or who grew up with caregivers who modeled similar people-pleasing tendencies. As a result, your best mode of action in that case is to refocus your attention toward you by working to build emotional intelligence and uphold healthy boundaries, says Dr. Manly.

But, at the same time, go easy on yourself. “Wanting to be helpful and make others feel good still isn’t a fundamentally bad thing,” says Dr. Henriksen of people-pleasing. Avoiding the potential negative effects simply requires that you do the above without the intention of personal reward—and with enough self-awareness to know and respect your own needs, too.

By:

Erica Sloan is the associate lifestyle editor at Well+Good, where she covers topics like sleep, sex, astrology, travel, career, money, and other elements of daily life that cross paths with wellness. Before joining W+G in 2021, she was a staffer on the print teams at Martha Stewart Living & Weddings and Prevention, where she cut her generalist teeth, dabbling in beauty, home, and health content. When she’s not writing, you can find her traipsing around Brooklyn and overthinking everything in classic Aquarian fashion.

Source: The Difference Between Empathy and People-Pleasing | Well+Good

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Good Vibes Are Contagious

One of my favorite threads of research shows just how interconnected we humans are. Studies reveal that if you bear witness to someone else experiencing pain—whether it’s a friend stubbing their toe, a person experiencing homelessness on a damp street corner, or a somber face in the waiting room of a hospital—you’re likely to experience some degree of pain yourself. The Association for Psychological Science (APS) dubs this the “I feel your pain” effect, and most everyone experiences it from time to time.

“When we witness what happens to others, we don’t just activate the visual cortex like we thought decades ago,” Dutch neuroscientist Christian Keysers told the APS. “We also activate our own actions as if we’d be acting in similar ways. We activate our own emotions and sensations as if we felt the same.”

Pain isn’t the only contagious emotion. Researchers from Yale University closely monitored just under 5,000 people living in the small town of Framingham, Massachusetts, for more than three decades. They found that when someone became happy or sad, that emotion rippled throughout the entire town. Another study, published in the journal Motivation and Emotion, showed that even below-the-surface emotions, such as motivation, are contagious.

If someone is working in the same room with people who are internally driven, their attitude also improves. If, however, someone is working in the same room with those who aren’t too excited about their work, then their motivation decreases. A 2017 study out of Northwestern University found that sitting within 25 feet of a high performer at work improved an employee’s performance by 15 percent. But sitting within 25 feet of a low performer hurt their performance by 30 percent. That’s an enormous effect!

Emotions even spread virtually. Another study, aptly titled “I’m Sad, You’re Sad,” found that if you are in a negative mood when you text your partner, they are likely to pick up on it and experience a lower mood state themselves. The same is true of Facebook posts, according to research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Emotions like happiness, sadness, and anger spread like wildfire on the platform. (Not that you needed a study to prove this.)

Instead of meeting sadness with sadness, you can meet it with compassion and support.

This science all points toward the same basic truth: we are mirrors reflecting onto each other. The people we surround ourselves with shape us, and we shape those around us, too. The implications of this truth are important and actionable.

For starters, you’d be wise to associate with people you admire and aspire to be like. It’s not so much rote skill that is contagious as it is the motivation and emotions that lead to skill development. In other words, it is much better to work with the scrappy but less-talented performer than the all-star who phones it in. This is every bit as true on the playing field as it is in the office.

What’s more, just being aware of how easily emotions spread allows you to change yourself and, in turn, change those around you. For example, if you receive a text message that suddenly makes you sad, or if you read a social-media post that makes you angry, rather than immediately reacting, you can pause for a moment and then respond thoughtfully.

Instead of meeting sadness with sadness, you can meet it with compassion and support. Instead of meeting anger with anger, you can try to meet it with understanding (or just ignore it altogether). The flip side is also true. When you are feeling good you’re liable to spread it—though my hunch is that this happens naturally, without trying.

None of this is new, of course. Over a decade ago in the foothills of the Himalayas, before much of the above science unfolded, I asked a Nepali Sherpa named Indra about the prayer flags that were all over. “It’s simple,” he told me. “When you are feeling a strong emotion, you plant a flag. Since the beginning of time, my culture believes the wind will spread that energy and the universe will receive it.”

Brad Stulberg (@Bstulberg) is a performance coach and writes Outside’s Do It Better column. He is also bestselling author of the books “The Passion Paradox” and “Peak Performance.”

Source: Good Vibes Are Contagious

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Related Contents:

Barrett LF, Mesquita B, Ochsner KN, Gross JJ (January 2007). “The experience of emotion”. Annual Review of Psychology. 58 (1): 373–403. doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085709“Emotion |

Definition of Emotion by Oxford Dictionary on Lexico.com also meaning of Emotion

“Listening to Your Authentic Self: The Purpose of Emotions

Scherer, Klaus R.; Shuman, Vera; Fontaine, Johnny R. J.; Soriano, Cristina (2013), “The GRID meets the Wheel: Assessing emotional feeling via self-report1Cowen AS, Keltner D (2017).

“Self-report captures 27 distinct categories of emotion bridged by continuous gradients”“Emotion and decision making” (PDF). Annual Review of Psychology.

66: 799–823. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115043.

PMID 25251484“Different Types of Emotions in Psychology All Questions Answered”Caroline Blanchard, D; Hynd, April L; Minke, Karl A; Minemoto, Tiffanie; Blanchard, Robert J (1 December 2001).

“Human defensive behaviors to threat scenarios show parallels to fear- and anxiety-related defense patterns of non-human mammals”.

Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews. 25 (7): 761–70. doi:10.1016/S0149-7634(01)00056-2. ISSN 0149-7634. PMID 11801300. S2CID 24732701“History of Emotions | Max Planck Institute for Human Development”

.Kleine-Cosack C (October 2006).

“Recognition and Simulation of EmotionsScherer, K (2005).

“What are emotions and how can they be measured?” (PDF). Social Science Information. 44 (4): 695–729. doi:10.1177/0539018405058216. S2CID 145575751

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