A Teacher’s Guide To Helping Students with Anxiety

As a teacher, you may have noticed your students seem increasingly anxious—and the evidence isn’t just anecdotal. According to child psychologist Golda Ginsburg, “anxiety disorders are the most common psychiatric illnesses in children….[and they’re] underdiagnosed and undertreated.”

In fact, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, while about 18% of adults experience an anxiety disorder in a given year, that rate is a higher 25% for children ages 13–18. This article will guide you through the definition of anxiety, its causes, how to recognize it, types of anxiety disorders, and, most importantly, how you can help as a teacher.

You can also learn specific skills as they relate to anxiety and the COVID-19 crisis, as well as find resources to help you along your way.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is an emotion in which one feels irrationally tense, worried, or fearful, manifesting itself through physical or emotional symptoms, which will be further detailed below. While there is frequently a known stimulus, there may not be—some anxiety is purely existential. Like other emotions, anxiety usually lasts a short while.

However, if the feeling lingers for far too long, this can indicate an anxiety disorder. The term “anxiety” is often confused with—or casually used in place of—“stress”” or “nervousness”, but they aren’t the same things. Stress and nerves are usually caused by external, recognizable stimuli, and the responses are relatively rational and short-lived.

These feelings can even be positive, indicating that a person cares about a situation’s outcome and pushing them to succeed. However, if a stressor continues over an extended period or there are multiple nerve-wracking situations on top of one another, anxiety frequently develops.

Anxiety is often connected to suicidal behavior. As of 2017, suicide was the second-highest cause of death in people ages 10–34. Parents, administrators, and teachers must learn to recognize and address anxiety in young people—not only to increase children’s academic and social success but also to potentially save their lives.

Causes of Anxiety Among Students

While not all anxiety symptoms are signs of disorders, there are three general causes of anxiety disorders among young people.

However, evidence shows situations unrelated to these factors are also causing the rise in anxiety and anxiety disorders among children. While it’s easy to blame social media—and studies are mixed about whether it is or is not a major contributor—some school issues are considered partially responsible.

Bullying

Students who bully and those who are bullied are at risk for mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Less expectedly, seeing peers being bullied is also a significant cause of these challenges.

Overscheduling

Students today are busy, both in and out of school. Overscheduling—such as involvement in too many advanced classes and extensive after-school activities—can have physical and mental effects, including anxiety.

Pressure to Succeed

Students often feel pressure to excel at everything. “When kids feel like each homework assignment is going to make or break their future or that each soccer game could determine if they get a college scholarship, that pressure will have negative consequences,” says Amy Morin, LCSW. These feelings can result in battles with anxiety, depression, and self-esteem.

Interpersonal Relationships

At all ages, students worry about their interactions with those around them. If a child feels like their teacher “doesn’t like them,” they may dread attending class. Additionally, teachers are stressed—which can lead to anxiety for them as well.

Even if they never lose their cool, a teacher’s general demeanor can model anxious behaviors for students. Also, kids want to fit in with their peers. While a Pew Research Center study showed grades were the primary stressor for students, the following two were the pressure to look good and be socially accepted.

School Shootings

As of 2018, 57% of teenagers surveyed stated they were worried a shooting would happen at their school. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs shows that people become anxious and unable to self-actualize—that is, learn and grow—if they feel unsafe…..

Continue reading….

Source: A Teacher’s Guide To Helping Students with Anxiety

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4 Ways To Identify High Conflict People Before It’s Too Late

High-conflict people are identified by their blaming of others, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors. (Credit: Alexandra Mirghes / Unsplash)

Some people seem predisposed to cause chaos and conflict in their lives. Their every discussion regresses into an argument. Everywhere they go, something goes wrong and someone else is to blame. And they can’t let anything go, seeing even the smallest mistake as an affront to their worthiness.

These are some of the signs of what lawyer and therapist Bill Eddy calls “high-conflict people,” and chances are you’ve encountered one before. They could be that coworker whose ego you have to tiptoe around at the office, the family member who adds drama to every holiday visit, or the friend who reacts explosively to the mere suggestion that they’ve misremembered some trivial fact.

The question is: How do you tell the difference between a high-conflict personality and simply two personalities that conflict with each other? In an interview, Eddy shared the four key characteristics you can use to identify such personalities.

How to identify high-conflict personalities

The first of these characteristics is a preoccupation with blaming other people. When something goes wrong or a fault is revealed, the high-conflict personality will set their crosshairs on a “target of blame” and launch all the responsibility their way.

“The target of blame […] could change over time, but [a high-conflict person] sees that person as the cause of all their problems,” Eddy said. “And so they want to control or eliminate or destroy or humiliate that person.” While the target can be anybody, Eddy adds, it is typically an intimate relation or someone in authority.

The second characteristic to look for is all-or-nothing thinking. From the high-conflict person’s perspective, there are good people and bad people. Blame is absolute, or it is moot. And there is only one way to solve any conflict: Their way.

Third, high-conflict people may display unmanaged emotions, and those emotions roll straight into the fourth characteristic, which is extreme behaviors. A high-conflict person may yell, start crying, punch a hole in the wall, or storm out of the room for reasons that cannot be discerned by others. It just seems to happen because the triggers are so minute. Even so, the emotional outburst is unrestrained.

“HCPs are in every occupation, every culture, and every country. This has nothing to do with intelligence. Some HCPs are very smart, while others are not — like the whole population,” Eddy writes. “They tend to have more substance abuse, more depression, more anxiety, and other problems. This is often because their ways of interacting don’t work, which frustrates them as well as everyone around them. Yet, they aren’t able to reflect on themselves, and you can’t make them.”

With that said, it’s important to note that “high-conflict” isn’t a personality disorder — that is, a long-term pattern of feelings and behaviors that differ significantly from what’s expected. Psychologists currently recognize — and debate over — 10 personality disorders. These can be informally catalogued into three groups: Cluster A (eccentric), Cluster B (erratic), and Cluster C (anxious). While high-conflict people do share certain traits with Cluster B disorders — such as volatile emotions and inappropriate behaviors — they are also distinct….

Continue reading…..

Source: 4 ways to identify high-conflict people before it’s too late – Big Think

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Resilience Journey For Moms Self Paced Course

This course aims to equip overwhelmed moms with the right tools and resources to prepare them to bounce back easily in the face of stressful situations. You will be able to shift your mindset from negative to positive, balance your emotions and help build new habits, so that you will find inner calm, be more present, live a more peaceful life and set an example of resilience for your children and your family.

It’s a self-paced course with life-time access. The course can be completed in as little as 8 weeks. The Resilience Journey is a personal development program that will give you full awareness of what is going in your mind (thinking) and in your heart (feeling), we reconnect both aspect and integrate them into a self-care plan.

But hey, this is not easy, and you’ll have to be committed and ready to change, so that this program can be put into action. And by commitment we mean 1 hour per week. This program can be completed as quickly as 8 weeks. Don’t get me wrong, there will still be stressful situations, because stress is part of our life, but you will be able to handle them without being much affected.

Overwhelm and frustration from little things ending up in shouting to your children, resulting in moms guilt, that would disappear.You would set an example for the whole family about how it is possible to respond in healthy ways to challenges and stressful times. And THAT is empowerment at its best.

Source: https://stressilience.com

.

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Sympathy vs. Empathy: The Key Differences & Social Uses

The suffix -pathy comes from the Greek word for “suffering,” pathos. The U.S. medical system is built around pathology, which simply means diagnosing suffering and treating disease. Similarly, mental health professionals find social connections critically important to the ways that people cope with and overcome suffering, grief, and trauma. Words like sympathy, empathy, and even apathy describe the nuanced differences between the very complex social connections and reactions humans display when we are suffering or when we witness others in pain.

While subtle behavioral differences might seem obvious to therapists, counselors, and psychologists, it’s not so easy for everyone else. So we spoke to Atlanta-based therapist Habiba Zaman, LPC, NCC, Pepperdine University professor of psychology Steven M. Sultanoff, Ph.D., and licensed clinical psychologist Bruce L. Thiessen, Ph.D., about simple ways to define sympathy and empathy—and their relationship to compassion.

Defining sympathy.

“Sympathy is when you understand someone else’s suffering and feel sorrow or pity for the experience they are facing,” Zaman explains. “It involves having a value judgment on someone else’s experience.”

While often well intentioned, this value-judgment-centered response often creates a palpable distance between the person in pain and the person who is listening. So, Zaman says, sympathy is often extended when a person doesn’t necessarily relate to, fully comprehend, or appreciate the circumstances of suffering facing someone they know or love.

“The emotion of sympathy is my experience of (reaction to) your situation. Sympathy lacks understanding,” Sultanoff adds. “When you are sympathetic, you get caught up in your own emotional reaction to how you are experiencing the world. This, for the most part, does not demonstrate any understanding of the person in distress.”

He notes that sympathy can create a barrier to understanding that can be activated because a sympathetic person may shift focus away from the person in distress to focus on themselves instead. Sympathy is the emotional reaction of the listener, who might say things like “I feel so sorry that this is happening to you,” or “I get so angry just listening to your story.” Other common ways it can show up are as pity (e.g., “I feel so bad for you”) or even as envy (e.g., “I’m sorry for your loss, but I sure wish I had as much time with my loved ones as you did”).

Defining empathy.

“When one expresses empathy, one draws upon personal experience, in relating to another person in the midst of a similar experience or hardship,” Thiessen explains. “An example of an empathetic statement might be, ‘I also have recently lost a loved one and know what it feels like to experience that deep sense of sorrow and grief.”

He says that this sense of commonality is a key differentiator between empathy and sympathy.

“Empathy is the ability to feel intimately and see the other person’s perspective. It is not just to understand what they are going through but rather, being able to walk in the other person’s shoes,” Zaman explains. “It is being able to say, ‘I am here to feel with you’ and let you know you are not alone.”

She adds that empathy is best defined by how the listener connects with the person in pain. Without judgment, an empathetic person would try to create and hold space for a person’s feelings and experiences. Empathy, which can be taught and honed over time, involves honoring how a person in pain sees their own situation, even if that is not how others might view it.

Understanding the key differences.

When it comes to understanding the key differences between empathy and sympathy, there are both internal and external factors to keep in mind. Sympathy and empathy are largely distinguished by external behavioral and performative aspects, which most people believe are a reflection of how the listener internally feels about the person who is suffering. Instead, the experts say that the difference is more about the relationship between the listener and the sufferer.

On the outside, sympathy often appears socially distant, like a one-off message of condolences, with no follow-up. Zaman says this is because sympathy lacks intimacy, but there may be situational reasons why that might be the case. In certain corporate settings or power structures, it might be appropriate to emotionally withhold to maintain decorum or to preserve group dynamics that extend beyond just the listener and the person in pain. Social dynamics and the appropriateness of displaying curiosity toward a person in pain might make a listener moderate their naturally emotive behavior.

“Sympathy is used in social situations where there isn’t an intimate connection between two people. It would be perfectly appropriate in a corporate environment to experience sympathy from coworkers or a boss. A card or flowers that share in acknowledging grief is perfectly acceptable and is expected in those environments because anything more could be perceived as inauthentic, unless that initial and genuine connection is there,” Zaman says.

Meanwhile, she says, that very same gesture of sending a card and flowers might be wholly inadequate for lifelong friends. Thus, the relationship and social context between the people involved is very important.

Also, no matter how close or distant the relationship, Sultanoff says that empathy is an internal experience of feeling caring, concern, and understanding toward another human being or living creature that is best shown through active and reflective listening.

“Responding by repeating back (but not parroting) what you heard from the other person, while especially attending to their feelings, demonstrates focus on the person and letting go of your own internal distractions,” he says.

In an attempt to be empathetic, a person who genuinely wants to help might share problem-solving advice, but Sultanoff says that this behavior does not necessarily show empathy for the other person’s immediate emotional state. In many ways, the difference between sympathy and empathy is the desire to understand the experience of a person who is suffering, not necessarily the drive to stop their suffering.

What about compassion?

“Both empathy and sympathy, when coming from a place of sincerity, are sensations and open expressions of compassion,” Thiessen says. After all, compassion, which simply means “to suffer together,” is an expression of caring and warmth.

He says that compassion from empathy typically comes from sharing similar experiences with another person, but compassion from sympathy can be just as useful. “For example, the act of researching the types of suffering experienced by an abused child might increase a person’s sympathy for abused children, regardless of whether or not the researching party had ever been a victim of child abuse,” offers Thiessen.

And this ability to extend emotions beyond one’s own personal experience is good because compassion allows humans to be motivated to alleviate harms they, personally, have never experienced.

“Expressions of compassion, be they in the form of empathy, or sympathy, or some palpable act of kindness, can be experienced as a healing balm on the psyche and the soul,” Thiessen says.

Moreover, that emotional inspiration can spark activism, philanthropy, or public advocacy in the service of moral causes that are far-reaching and socially impactful. In this way, actively cultivating compassion can allow an observer in one situation to be a force for change in many others.

The bottom line.

In the simplest of terms, empathy is an internal emotion that is directed outward toward another person, Sultanoff says. It demonstrates a true understanding of the other person, without any personal biases interfering with that understanding. Sympathy, however, is internally directed.

If you are watching someone in mourning or grief, empathy is focused on understanding the person in pain, while sympathy is focused on your reaction to watching that person deal with their pain. “From a mental health perspective, empathy is very healing, and sympathy is not,” Sultanoff says.

“Generally, it feels better to be the recipient of empathy than simply sympathy, because it allows for a point of connection and intimacy. Also, an expression of sympathy may be more difficult to trust unless it is coming from a genuine relationship and a place of genuine concern,” Thiessen summarizes.

All that said, both feelings can serve socially positivity purposes when tied with compassion and action.

Nafeesah Allen, Ph.D.
Nafeesah Allen, Ph.D.

Nafeesah Allen, Ph.D., is an American writer and independent researcher with a particular interest in migration, literature, gender identity, and diaspora studies within the global South. She completed her Ph.D. in Forced Migration from the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, South Africa. She completed a postgraduate diploma in Folklore & Cultural Studies at Indira Gandhi National Open University in New Delhi, India. She completed a Masters of International Affairs at Columbia University in 2009 and graduated cum laude from Barnard College at Columbia University in 2006.

Originally from New Jersey, she has lived in Spain, India, Mozambique, Angola, and South Africa. She speaks four languages (reads in three), but primarily publishes in English. Her writing placements range from popular trade magazines like Better Home & Gardens, Real Simple, and Whetstone to academic journals like Harvard’s Transition Magazine, the Centre for Feminist Foreign Policy, and the Oxford Monitor.

Source: Sympathy vs. Empathy: The Key Differences & Social Uses | mindbodygreen

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Emotional contagion” (PDF). Current Directions in Psychological Science. 2 (3): 96–99. doi:10.1111/1467-8721.ep10770953. S2CID 220533081. Archived from the original Rogers K, Dziobek I, Hassenstab J, Wolf OT, Convit A (April 2007).

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3 Scams That Can Part You From Your Money

That sad-sounding email may not be on the level…getty

Financial trickery is an ongoing problem, and it’s amazing how successful it often is. Rick Kahler, president of Kahler Financial Group in Rapid City, S. D., has an eagle eye for such frauds. Here are his tips to avoid being gulled.

Larry Light: Ours is a cynical age. You’d think people would be more wise to attempted cons.

Rick Kahler: Financial scams and con artists have probably been around at least as long as people have been using money. In the past when I read stories about scams, I often wondered how people could be so gullible. I assumed that the victims of fraud were the vulnerable elderly or less educated, had suffered a recent loss of a loved one, or were isolated. This is not necessarily the case.

While some data suggests that one in five of those over age 65 have been targeted by email scammers, being scammed can happen to anyone. Nobody is immune to fraud, and sometimes people simply fall for scams due to the psychological techniques employed by fraudsters. Often, their strategies are meant to take advantage of our desire to give.

Light: What are some of the most widely used scams?

Kahler: Shipping and mailing is a big one. If you’re sending gifts, be suspicious if you get an email or text message that appears to be from UPS, FedEx or the U.S. post office. One scam involves sending messages that you need to pay a fee for a missed delivery, which is an attempt to lure you to a fake website that asks for your credit or debit card information.

Hang onto receipts that include tracking numbers in case you need to find a misdelivered package. It’s also a good idea to let recipients know the tracking number and the expected date of delivery to help them guard against packages being stolen by porch pirates.

Mail checks or gift cards at the post office or a drop box rather than putting them in your home mailbox. A friend of mine had thieves steal a check out of her mailbox, alter the payee and amount, and try to cash it at her bank. Fortunately, an alert teller refused the transaction and also called the police with information about the thieves’ car, and they were caught. Stolen checks can also be used for identity theft or sold on the dark web.

Light: Yikes. What else?

Kahler: Then there’s the family-member-in-need scam. A standard phone scam targeting grandparents is the call from someone claiming to be “your oldest grandson,” who is in trouble and needs money urgently. A related method sends random text messages pretending to be a family member who has lost their phone. If a parent responds to a text saying “this is my new number,” the scammer then asks for money because of some problem related to losing their phone.

In cases like this, you want to be like one of my clients who got the “grandma, I’m in trouble” phone call. Her oldest grandson has a distinctive voice, so she knew immediately that the call was phony. Instead of responding with the grandson’s name, which is what the scammer hopes for, she just said, “Oh?” and waited. “I won,” she later said proudly, “The scammer hung up on me!”

Light: That’s good to hear. Emotions are great weapons for these crooks.

Kahler: Charitable giving scams depend on that. Scammers may pose as well-known legitimate charities or use fake names similar to those of real organizations. They might also take advantage of our desire to help by inventing stories of children with acute illnesses or using current events like the war in Ukraine or natural disasters.

Be alert for charities with unfamiliar names, websites that don’t look quite right and texts or emails from unverified sources. Instead of responding to an unsolicited message asking for donations, do your own search for a legitimate charity’s website and initiate your donation there.

Where scammers are concerned, suspicion is a good idea.

Source: 3 Scams That Can Part You From Your Money

.

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