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6 Unexpected Habits of the Most Confident People

Here’s something you know. Being self-confident improves odds of success, whether you’re a leader wanting to lead confidently, an entrepreneur, or someone just trying to learn how to deal with criticism. And you know the obvious ways to become more confident such as living with a sense of purpose and leveraging your strengths.

Now for the less obvious, unexpected ways that the most confident people become that way. I encourage you to tap into these unexpected, even counterintuitive hidden gems to shine more confidently from within.

1. Don’t start with self-confidence, start with self-compassion.

Believe it or not, to start feeling more self-confident, don’t start with trying to feel more self-confident. Start by focusing on feeling compassionate towards yourself. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake, remind yourself that you’re not perfect, allow yourself a learning curve and don’t expect to be an overnight sensation in everything you do.

Here’s the good news, research from the University of Texas, Austin shows that focusing first and foremost on self-compassion will lead to more consistent confidence, because you have a built-in mechanism to keep from spiraling downward in moments you catch yourself beating yourself up. To practice self-compassion, talk to yourself like you would a friend in need in those moments.

2. Insist that you’re not good enough.

Wait, huh? Isn’t self-confidence about insisting the opposite of this? It’s about the spirit and intent behind this insistence. For example, when you’re facing a tall task, cheerily remind yourself that you’re probably not good enough to do the task to your absolute best ability by going it completely alone –no one is. In other words, it’s a self-reminder that it’s OK to ask for help.

Highly self-confident people view asking for help as an opportunity to go from good to great. You should too. Research from Harvard and University of Pennsylvania even shows that asking for help makes you look good in the eyes of others which can further boost your self-confidence.

3. Be egotistical (at times).

Standard advice is to be confident without being egotistical, otherwise it backfires and that whole self-confidence thing begins to unravel. But actually, you should leverage your ego specifically to pump yourself up here and there with self-affirmations. Remind yourself of what you’re good at, that you’ve done it before, or that you’ve come so far already.

2013 research published in the psychology journal PLOS indicates that engaging in self-affirmations even improves problem solving under stress because you aren’t thrown off your game as easily and don’t let negativity add to the difficulty at hand.

4. Celebrate self-doubt.

Hold on, don’t confident people cast self-doubt aside? Not necessarily. In fact, they embrace it. The highly self-confident don’t wait until they feel 100 percent confident before proceeding, knowing that the simple act of doing will make them feel more confident over the long run. Think about it. After you try something difficult, even if you don’t 100 percent succeed, aren’t you going to be more confident the next time for having the experience under your belt?

A seminal, 2010 study in sports psychology even showed that a little self-doubt can improve performance, because it helps athletes maintain an edge.

5. Be stubborn when it counts most.

We’re told to stay flexible-minded because confidence flows from knowing you can bend and mold to what the moment requires. Except when it comes to preparing for that big, challenging event. Then it’s time for stubbornly sticking to rituals you’ve created. Harvard research shows that sticking to preparation rituals make you calmer when the moment to perform arrives.

I’ve found this to be true in preparing for any keynote I give. I have a ritual of rehearsing a keynote, no matter how many times I’ve given it, twice two days before and on the day before, and once the morning of. It gives me great comfort in knowing I’m prepared, and helps me to perform at my best.

6. Make comparisons (but do draw the line).

I often write about the importance of understanding that the only comparison that matters is to who you were yesterday. I’d like to amend that a bit to acknowledge that comparing to someone who has achieved what you want to can be helpful for goal setting. But stop there, because carrying on with the comparisons is more dangerous than meets the eye.

2018 research from Oakland University proved it’s a vicious cycle; when you compare to others you experience envy, the more envy you experience the worse you feel about yourself and thus the lower your self-confidence.

So pulling from the unexpected means you can expect to pull your self-confidence up. Better get started –greater success awaits.

 

 Scott Mautz Keynote speaker and author, ‘Find the Fire’ and ‘Make It Matter’

Source: 6 Unexpected Habits of the Most Confident People

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Bill Gates: High Schoolers Should Cultivate 1 Skill to Thrive in 2030 and Beyond

No one can predict the future. Not even Bill Gates. But the billionaire founder of Microsoft and philanthropist can tell you which skills he thinks will give you a competitive edge in the future.

Gates recently touched on this topic when he delivered a lecture at his high school alma mater, Lakeside School in Seattle. Fun fact: Another famous alumni is Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen. The two met when they were students there.

The first question the school’s head Bernie Noe posed to Bill Gates was this: “What do today’s students need to know to thrive in 2030 and 2040?”

You’re never too old to keep learning.

Gates encouraged the high school students to cultivate their curiosity. The more knowledge they seek out, the better they’ll be prepared for what’s ahead.

“For the curious learner, these are the best of times because your ability to constantly refresh your knowledge with either podcasts or lectures that are online is better than ever,” Gates said.

To do that, Gates said students must build your sense of curiosity and basic framework of knowledge. History, science, and economics are the subject areas he sees as being particularly useful to be successful in the future.

What Bill Gates predicts for the decades ahead.

During the decades ahead, the digital revolution will surprise us,” Gates said.

This is where that foundational knowledge and drive to keep learning will come into play. He thinks having the self confidence and willingness to keep learning will help prepare students for that revolution.

For example, he says changes that will take place in healthcare and climate change will require an understanding of the sciences.

He also believes teeangers must be more informed than ever on current affairs and past events. “Democracy is going to more and more require participants,” he said. He says understanding history — both of the United States and the entire world — will prepare students to understand why the world is in the situation it’s in.

Bill Gates is his own case study.

When Gates graduated from Lakeside in 1973, he didn’t know what the future would hold. There was one thing he took with him though that prepared him for his future success: “I had the ability to learn.”

He never expected that he would drop out of Harvard. In fact, Gates was so hungry for knowledge that he took extra classes in college just because they sounded fun and interesting. He admits that he wasn’t very sociable because his heavy course load was all-consuming. “I managed to get two and a half years there, and I loved every minute of it,” he said.

Gates dropped out of Harvard and started Microsoft with his former Lakeside buddy Paul Allen in 1975. The rest is history.

Betsy MikelOwner, Aveck

Source: Bill Gates: High Schoolers Should Cultivate 1 Skill to Thrive in 2030 and Beyond

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Check out these books by and about Bill Gates: * Business @ the Speed of Thought: https://amzn.to/2PAw27v * The Road Ahead: https://amzn.to/2QfWPDh * Gates: How Microsoft’s Mogul Reinvented an Industry: https://amzn.to/2PGLvmu * Who Is Bill Gates?: https://amzn.to/2PF7bzu * Bill Gates and the Making of the Microsoft Empire: https://amzn.to/2qrh5Xc He consistently ranks in the Forbes list of the world’s wealthiest people. He’s one of the best-known entrepreneurs of the personal computer revolution. He is also the second-most generous philanthropist in America, having given over $28 billion to charity. He’s Bill Gates and here are his Top 10 Rules for Success. * Join my BELIEVE newsletter: http://www.evancarmichael.com/newslet… 1. Have energy 2. Have a BAD influence 3. Work hard 4. Create the future 5. Enjoy what you do 6. Play bridge 7. Ask for advice 8. Pick good people 9. Don’t procrastinate 10. Have a sense of humor Sources: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldPh0… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGZb9… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyg-D… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJcFs… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBdIe… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XS6ys… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynQ5Z… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxaCO… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY2j_… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI_xu… ENGAGE * Subscribe to my channel: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_c… * Leave a comment, thumbs up the video (please!) * Suppport me: http://www.evancarmichael.com/support/ CONNECT * Twitter: https://twitter.com/evancarmichael * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EvanCarmicha… * Google+: https://plus.google.com/1084697716903… * Website: http://www.evancarmichael.com EVAN * About: http://www.evancarmichael.com/about/ * Guides: http://www.evancarmichael.com/zhuge/ * Coaching: http://www.evancarmichael.com/movement/ * Speaking: http://www.evancarmichael.com/speaking/ * Gear: http://evancarmichael.com/gear SCHEDULE * Videos every day at 7am and 5pm EST * Weekends – Top 10 Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list… * #Entspresso – Weekday mornings: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list…

The First 5 Minutes of Microsoft’s Surface Presentation Included 4 Expert Public Speaking Skills

Microsoft Chief Product Officer, Panos Panay, unveiled new products on Wednesday that generated a lot of buzz. The products including Surface tablets, laptops and the company’s new smartphone, the Surface Duo. But it was the first five minutes of the presentation that caught my attention.

Last year Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella put Panay in charge of all the company’s hardware devices. Panay’s also one of the best presenters I’ve seen in years–in any company. Panay used four advanced storytelling, presentation and speaking techniques that will make you a more effective communicator. Here, I’ll take a deeper look at what he did.

1. Don’t start with products.

People don’t buy products; they buy feelings. The best presenters establish a feeling before explaining a product’s features and demos. Panay established the theme of his presentation in the first two minutes. He showed a video of his daughter, Sophia, playing the piano. He said,

“In order for Sophia to play her best, that piano has to be ready. It has to be tuned perfectly. The bench has to be the right height, her sheet music at eye level.”

Panay was making the point that when the instrument–the technology– is right, it allows Sophia to unleash her creative talent. “When all the pieces line up, you can stop thinking. You’re just inspired to play better.” Panay has just made an emotional connection with the audience and framed the products as much more than new hardware–they’re instruments to help them unleash their inspired creativity.

2. Tell customer stories.

Panay’s first slides showed photos of several people–real customers with inspiring stories. For example, he showed a picture of Steve Gleason, a former professional football player diagnosed with ALS. Gleason is an advocate for Microsoft’s products that help people living with disabilities. Another photo showed Collete Davis, a race-car driver who runs her career like a startup–using Microsoft hardware, of course.

As humans, we’re wired for stories. We think in story, talk about stories, and enjoy information delivered in narrative form. Tell more stories to win people over.

3. Use multimedia to engage the audience.

Stories are engaging, as are photos and videos. We are not wired to engage with text and bullet points on slide. And that’s why there were no bullet points in Panay’s presentation. In fact, the first slide with text appeared ten minutes into the presentation–and even then, it was only one sentence.

Most presenters don’t use video, but they should. People love video. Research shows that videos and images are far more engaging than text alone. But communicators are often reluctant to insert videos into their presentations as Panay did when she showed his daughter playing piano.

Neuroscientists have found that visual and verbal information are encoded in different parts of our brain. University of Washington molecular biologist, John Medina, has addressed the phenomenon in his research. Simply put, Information that’s presented in text, pictures and video for is more richly encoded. Adding a video is more likely to stamp your idea on another person’s brain.

4. Connect with the audience.

Panay uses a speaking style that requires confidence and practice. You can see him in action in the video of the event. From time to time, Panay steps off the stage and walks among the audience members as he delivers information about the products. He’s not relying on notes or a prompter as he does so. Panay hits his marks and makes it look effortless because he’s put in the practice time to make the presentation great.

Delivering a great presentation doesn’t come naturally to most people. Presentations that leave a strong impression on the audience requires creativity and practice. When you get access to an expert like Panos Panay, it’s worth investing the time to watch his performance.

By: Carmine Gallo Keynote speaker and author, ‘Five Stars: The Communication Secrets to Get From Good to Great

Source: The First 5 Minutes of Microsoft’s Surface Presentation Included 4 Expert Public Speaking Skills

391K subscribers
Watch as Microsoft Chief Product Officer Panos Panay talks about the importance of technology fading to the background and how these products can help you achieve more. Microsoft products, a symphony of technology between Windows, Surface, Office and AI, are designed to amplify your ideas, get you into your flow and let you build what’s in your mind and heart. Like an instrument, our products, our technology fades to the background so you can focus on your craft. Learn more at http://msft.social/PPTech

 

3 Reasons Why Character and Intelligence are Way More Important than Looks…with an Additional section for Men wanting to improve their confidence meeting women — Paul F.J. Aranas Ph.D

I think most people want an initial physical attraction when dating someone, but here are three reasons why character and intelligence are more important than looks. Looks fade. Look at that beautiful 25 year old girl…wait 10 years and two or three kids later….a lot different looking…then take another look 5 years after that. Most […]

via 3 Reasons Why Character and Intelligence are Way More Important than Looks…with an Additional section for Men wanting to improve their confidence meeting women — Paul F.J. Aranas Ph.D

Peace… Is This What It’s Like — Parenting, patience, relationships and resilience!

It’s been a while since I can say I felt peaceful or even calm. Years in fact! So what does the word ‘Peace’ actually mean. Well this is what I found. I particularly liked the second one as it feels like life has been like fighting a war! “freedom from disturbance; tranquillity” “a state or […]

via Peace… is this what it’s like — Parenting, patience, relationships and resilience!

 

 

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