Heal Your Inner Emptiness: It’s Time To Fill Your Cup

Are you tired of low quality PLR that you can never really use? What if you had a product that was timely, very well written and on a very high demand topic that can make you money, educate your audience and one that you can actually use in many different ways?

Look no further, that product is Heal Your Emptiness: It’s Time To Fill Your Cup with PLR Rights, a huge bundle of quality content that you can edit, brand and profit from in numerous ways AND on topics that get millions of monthly keyword searches in Google!

JR has created an amazing “Done For You” content bundle with a ton of quality content that includes everything you need to dominate the personal development market and the price is amazing for all that you get.

And provides you with both educational and promotional materials as well. You now have a chance to deliver critical information with comprehensive and high quality content that addresses important personal development topics for people of all ages and you get it all with full PLR rights.

A very in-demand evergreen niche with high quality information that targets a wide audience without the huge expense and hassle of creating it yourself.

The Heal Your Emptiness: It’s Time To Fill Your Cup PLR bundle is of the highest quality, written with expertise, very well researched and offers the most in-depth information to establish yourself as an authority in the lucrative personal development and wellness niches.

It includes comprehensive and well researched eBook, 2 Reports, 23 x 1000+ Word Articles, 8 Checklists, 8 Checklist Graphics, Images, 27 Viral Images, Sales Materials, Videos And Much More, all of which you can edit, sell, give away, or use to build your lists.

In all, you get a TON of great stuff with many source files included, so you really have unlimited opportunities in putting this content to use and making it your own!

eBook: Heal Your Inner Emptiness: It’s Time To Fill Your Cup (22 Pages/6,452 Words)
Editable Word And Fully Formatted PDF
Editable eCovers with 9 Different 2D and 3D designs
Custom Squeeze Page

Report: Your Mental Health Guide – 40 Actions Steps To Good Mental Health (22 Pages/6,082 Words)
Editable Word And Fully Formatted PDF
Editable eCovers with 9 Different 2D and 3D designs
Custom Squeeze Page

Report: 50 Greatest Benefits Of Real Human Connections (14 Pages/4,348 Words)
Editable Word And Fully Formatted PDF
Editable eCovers with 9 Different 2D and 3D designs
Custom Squeeze Page

7 Day Email Series: Heal Your Inner Emptiness – 1,487 Words

23 x 1000+ Word Articles 

7 Key Causes Of Emotional Emptiness – 1,015 Words
10 Basic Rules For Leading A Fulfilling Life – 1,036 Words
10 Harmful Effects Of Feeling Empty Inside – 1,012 Words
10 Powerful Benefits Of Attaining Fulfillment In Your Life – 1,092 Words
10 Signs You Feel Empty Inside – 1,060 Words
Common Measures Of Fulfillment – 1,013 Words
Feeling Empty Inside- Understand The Source – 1,038 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – 10 Ways To Fill Your Cup – 1,035 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Address Your Relationship Difficulties – 1,032 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Are You Denying Yourself Fulfillment – 1,018 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Eating Disorders – 1078 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Fulfilling Missing Needs – 1,031 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Have You Lost Touch With Yourself – 1,057 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Internal Starvation And Its Causes – 1,017 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Neglecting Your True Desires – 1,018 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Reconnect With Joy – 1,039 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Fulfillment In Day To Day Living – 1,042 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Unresolved Past Trauma – 1,050 Words
Feeling Empty Inside – Break Free By Embracing Your Meaning – 1,033 Words
Finding Fulfillment In Your Life – Find Balance – 1036 Words
How Does Inner Emptiness Feel – 1,011 Words
What It Means To Feel Empty – 1,014 Words
Finding Fulfillment In Your Life – Redefining Success There Is
More Than One Way To Be A Winner – 1,069 Words

8 Editable Checklists
50 Greatest Benefits Of Human Connections
40 Action Steps To Good Mental Health
10 Signs You Feel Empty Inside
10 Harmful Effects Of Feeling Empty Inside: The Effects On Your Life
Feeling Empty Inside: 10 Ways To Fill Your Cup
10 Basic Rules For Leading A Fulfilling Life
7 Key Causes Of Emotional Emptiness
10 Powerful Benefits of Attaining Fulfillment In Your Life
Word and PDF

8 Editable Checklist Graphics
50 Greatest Benefits Of Human Connections
40 Action Steps To Good Mental Health
10 Signs You Feel Empty Inside
10 Harmful Effects Of Feeling Empty Inside: The Effects On Your Life
Feeling Empty Inside: 10 Ways To Fill Your Cup
10 Basic Rules For Leading A Fulfilling Life
7 Key Causes Of Emotional Emptiness
10 Powerful Benefits of Attaining Fulfillment In Your Life
Easily Editable Powerpoint, PDF and High Def PNG

27 Editable Viral Images: 27 Actions Steps For Good Mental Health
Easily Editable Powerpoint and High Def Web Ready PNG
PDF Report Created From Images

Editable Collage
Easily Editable Powerpoint, PDF and High Def Web Ready PNG

40 Tips/Tweets/Social Media Updates: Heal Inner Emptiness – Fill You Cup – 1,399 Words

2 Editable HD Videos
12 Action Steps To Good Mental Health
Easily Editable Powerpoint
Voiceover Provided Separately
Voiceover Script – 443 Words
Editable Cover with 4 2D and 3D Designs

7 Key Causes Of Emotional Emptiness
Easily Editable Powerpoint
Voiceover Provided Separately
Voiceover Script – 462 Words
Editable Cover with 4 2D and 3D Designs

ALL content is brand new with full PLR rights to edit as you wish. Everything has been done for you with lots of quality content to educate your customers, clients, and web visitors.

Establish yourself as an authority in this timely and incredibly important topic with this very high quality and versatile PLR pack that can be used in numerous ways and that will save you tons of time and money were you to create it yourself.

Source: https://internetslayers.com

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Finding Happiness Daily Can Be a Challenge, But This Activity Will Help

Finding happiness daily can be a challenge, but this activity will help “We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.”

Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Marge blew a mind gasket and froze up on the bridge, windows up, refusing to come out of the car? She was so overwhelmed by responsibility and the lack of time to herself that she just lost it. It’s scary to stand on the edge of such an emotional cliff.

 

Carving out some aloneness – the space to breathe and meditate – is imperative. We need time to cultivate ideas, feel through concepts and simply be as a human being instead of constantly engaging with the world.

In today’s frantic age, I think it should be one of our greatest commitments. Peaceful people who know themselves and don’t feel besieged usually act kindly and with compassion, and don’t do a lot of the awful things that we are capable of as humans. So let’s stop feeling guilty for taking some moments for ourselves.

Everything we experience, emotionally or physically, is the result of chemical reactions in our bodies. These reactions are responsible for negative feelings and experiences, but they are also the reason for our joy and positivity. Love, happiness, compassion: these are all the result of a bunch of hormones that, when in balance, come to the rescue in times of need.

Endorphins, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin are what we call the “happy hormones”. They help us have a higher tolerance to pain and physical stress, they regulate mood and help prevent depression, making us happy and sociable. They guide us in the direction of love and are the reason we strive towards our goals and feel satisfied when we reach them.

While things such as promotions, marriage, buying a house and the birth of your children are incredible, they are also rare events that we can’t experience all the time. If we postpone our joy to the weekend, or a holiday, or that promotion, we are literally robbing ourselves of an enormous amount of happiness that’s there waiting for us, every single day.

Happiness shouldn’t be some far-off goal. It should be a daily reality. And it can be, when we remember that it’s the little things in life that bring us the most joy. The following exercise is going to ensure that you feel happiness and joy every day.

Grab a pen and paper, sit down and get ready to get stuck in. Write down 10 small things that make you happy.

Focus on little events or activities that are unique to you. Holidays and birthdays are common to everyone, so they don’t make the list.

This should be a list of happiness-inducing activities that occupy a special little place in your soul and that are part of what makes you who you are. My list includes:

  • drinking a hot cup of tea in the morning and eating toast with an obscene amount of salted butter
  • sleeping in when it rains
  • reading cookbooks and cooking with beautiful produce
  • fumbling about in our ramshackle garden at home
  • watching the sunrise
  • taking long walks with my husband on a quiet weekend, when we talk about our lives
  • devouring non-fiction books

What’s on your list?

Now look closely at your list and think about how many of the activities you actually do on a regular basis. Each day? Each week? Each month?

You might be surprised to discover that although these simple-yet-awesome things bring you so much happiness, you’re hardly doing them at all.

These items are your “joy rides”. These are simple keys to unlocking more joy and happiness in your life. It sounds easy, right? But it can be a challenge.

Put the list up on your fridge, beside your bed or above your desk at work as a reminder to keep your joy rides up. If you are looking at your list and realising that you’re already engaging with some of these joy rides, then this is fabulous. Be even more ambitious with prioritising your joy.

You are responsible for your own happiness and joy. Yes, you. No one else.

By: Jacqui Lewis

Source: Finding happiness daily can be a challenge, but this activity will help

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AI And The Secret To Employee Happiness

When I started working as a mainframe operator in IT in 1988, I felt like I was part of a secret club. None of my family understood what I was doing; my friends would ask, “what’s a mainframe and why do you have to work nights?”

My onboarding took months, and a typical workday began with staring at a blank screen. Since mainframes didn’t come with a mouse, I would enter memorized commands like “=3.4” and “Sys3.AF*” to navigate the data sets I needed to find.I don’t think many workers today would put up with that.

Any manager who has tried to hire an employee today will agree the war for talent is real. Job perks like free lunches and on-site laundry just don’t cut it anymore. To recruit talent today, there’s really one thing that every enterprise needs to do: Make work better.

Make work easy

I’ve found that companies invest in digital transformation for three reasons: To work faster, to work more efficiently, and to change or expand their business models. But the end result of any digital transformation should be a better experience, and leaders often neglect the everyday experience of the workers who actually achieve these goals.

Consider this. Outside of work, most people have grown used to finding a new home, getting pet care, and organizing travel all with just a swipe of their finger on the touchscreen. They expect the same level of ease when it comes to the technologies they use at work. It’s no coincidence that the latest release of the Now Platform invested so heavily in improving user experience.

Sure, the interface looks beautiful. But the experience goes deeper than the surface by making the usage more intuitive. Good user experience is about simplifying and hiding complexity so that using it comes naturally to anyone. Make work easy.

Flex on flexibility

Many workplaces have returned to on-site or hybrid work, but I don’t think we’ll bring back the rigid workday schedule. The last two years have taught us that, while face-to-face and real-time interactions are invaluable, many other tasks can be done just as well, if not better, asynchronously.

Yes, it wasn’t fun to work from a makeshift standing desk in the kitchen while keeping one eye on a freakishly fast toddler. It’s no wonder why some employees have eagerly returned to the ergonomic office stocked with free snacks. But some of us love attending a meeting without sitting in traffic, having lunch without navigating a packed cafeteria, or taking a two-hour afternoon break to compensate for that evening call with Tokyo. You have to accommodate both types—and everyone in between.

Leaders learned the hard way in 2020 that you can’t just flip a switch and change the way a business is run. You have to stay ready with workplace technology that can support various—and changing—work models.

Flexibility, supported with a solid digital foundation, is no longer a choice. Clearly communicate what your employees need to deliver and let them decide where, when, and how. Or you can try to force a rigid work model and watch your talent flock to another employer.

AI and human intelligence aren’t mutually exclusive. They work best when they work together.

Automate the mundane

Automation has freed employees from many repetitive tasks, making work more fulfilling and creative. The digitization of work can go a step further by tapping artificial intelligence that effectively sorts through massive amounts of data and makes prescriptive recommendations. AI can even be used to make it easier for employees to be promoted internally—a huge factor in retaining and rewarding your workforce.

There’s a misconception that AI is designed to replace human workers. But for me, artificial intelligence is actually about the interface between people and machines, making lives more interesting by automating the mundane, removing friction, and presenting the right information and insights.

Better together

Knowledge workers thrive when they can harness technology to make more effective decisions. These decisions aren’t only reactive but also proactive—something that AI enables through its predictive power, which can anticipate and adjust to a world full of constantly changing variables.

When it comes to digital transformation, we think of how it impacts the bottom line by improving speed and efficiency. But how do we improve speed and efficiency? By empowering our talent with the delightful and intuitive experiences they deserve.

AI and human intelligence aren’t mutually exclusive. They work best when they work together.

Dave Wright is ServiceNow’s chief innovation officer and acts as an evangelist for how to improve workplace productivity. He has worked with thousands of

Source: AI And The Secret To Employee Happiness

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More contents:

What is a Digital Transformation Strategy? »

What is a Digital Business? »

How to make a Digital Transformation Strategy? »

Digital Transformation Strategy in 2020 »

Where to Start with a Digital Transformation Strategy »

Who should be involved in creating a Digital Transformation Strategy? »

What happens to businesses that don’t have a Digital Transformation Strategy? »

What are the top 5 Digital Transformation Strategy Frameworks?

How do I measure if my Digital Transformation Strategy is working? »

What is Digital Transformation?

The Difference Between Digitization and Digital Transformation

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An Excess of Empathy Can Be Bad For Your Mental Health

Empathy is an ability to sync emotionally and cognitively with another person; it is a capacity to perceive a world from their perspective or share their emotional experiences. It is essential for building and maintaining relationships, as it helps us connect with others at a deeper level. It is also associated with higher self-esteem and life purpose.

There are broadly two types of empathy: cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. Emotional empathy is about sharing feelings with others to the extent that you may experience pain when watching someone in pain, or experience distress when watching someone in distress. This is what happens to many people when they watch upsetting news on TV, especially when they relate to specific people and their lives.

But emotional empathy isn’t just about experiencing negative emotions. Empathetic people may experience an abundance of positivity when watching other people’s joy, happiness, excitement, or serenity and can get more out of music and other daily pleasures.While this emotional contagion is suitable for positive states, having too much empathy when watching people suffer can be very upsetting and even lead to mental health problems.

Too much empathy towards others, especially when we prioritise other people’s emotions over our own, may result in experiences of anxiety and depression, which explains why so many of us feel bad when watching the news about the war in Ukraine.

The other type of empathy – cognitive empathy – refers to seeing the world through other people’s eyes, seeing it from their perspective, putting ourselves into their shoes without necessarily experiencing the associated emotions and, for example, watching the news and understanding at a cognitive level why people feel despair, distress or anger. This process may lead to emotional empathy or even somatic empathy, where empathy has a physiological effect (somatic being from the ancient Greek word “soma” meaning body).

The effect of empathy on the body has been well documented. For example, parents experiencing high levels of empathy towards their children tend to have chronic low-grade inflammation, leading to lower immunity. Also, our heart beats to the same rhythm when we empathise with others. So the impact of empathy when watching the news is both psychological and physiological. In some circumstances, it may result in what some refer to as “compassion fatigue”.

Misnomer

The burnout experienced by excessive empathy has traditionally been termed compassion fatigue. But more recently, using MRI studies, neuroscientists have argued that this is a misnomer, and that compassion does not cause fatigue. The distinction is important because it turns out that compassion is the antidote to the distress we feel when we empathise with people who are suffering. We need less empathy and more compassion.

Empathy and compassion are distinct events in the brain. Empathy for another person’s pain activates areas in the brain associated with negative emotions. Because we feel the other person’s pain, the boundary between the self and others can become blurred if we do not have good boundaries or self-regulation skills and we experience “emotional contagion”.

We get entangled in the distress and find it hard to soothe our emotions. We want to depersonalise, become numb, and look away. In contrast, compassion is associated with activity in areas of the brain associated with positive emotions and action.

Compassion can be defined simply as empathy plus action to alleviate another person’s pain. The action part of compassion helps us decouple our emotional system from others and see that we are separate individuals. We do not have to feel their pain when we witness it. Instead, we have the feeling of wanting to help. And we have a rewarding, positive emotional experience when we feel compassion towards another.

Here are three ways to practice compassion while watching the news.

1. Practice loving-kindness meditation

When you are overwhelmed by the news, practice loving-kindness mediation, where you focus on sending love to yourself, people you know, and those you don’t know who are suffering.

If we can create a buffer of positive emotions with compassion, we can think about how to practically help and act in overwhelming situations. Training your “compassion muscles” provides a buffer against the negative emotions so that you can be better motivated to help and not get overwhelmed by the distressing emotions.

Loving-kindness meditation does not reduce negative emotions. Instead, it increases activation in areas of the brain associated with positive emotions like love, hope, connection and reward.

2. Practice self-compassion

Are you beating yourself up for not being able to help? Or feeling guilty about your life while other people suffer? Try being kind to yourself. Remember that while our suffering is always specific to us, it is not uncommon. We share a common humanity of all experiencing some kind of suffering. While being mindful of your suffering, also try to not over-identify with it. These acts of self-compassion help reduce the distress experienced in empathic burnout and improves feelings of wellbeing

3. Take action

Empathic distress evokes negative feelings, such as stress, and prompts us to withdraw and be unsociable. In contrast, compassion produces positive feelings of love for another. It prompts us to take action. Most specifically compassion helps motivate sociability. One way to [counter empathic distress] is to get involved: donate, volunteer, organise.

4. Stop doomscrolling

Understandably, we look for information in times of crisis. It helps us be prepared. However, doomscrolling – continually scrolling through and reading depressing or worrying content on a social media or news site, especially on a phone – is not helpful.

Research on social media engagement during the pandemic showed that we need to be mindful of our news consumption to avoid increases in stress and negative emotions. To avoid the news altogether is unrealistic, but limiting our consumption is helpful. Another suggestion is to balance our media consumption by seeking out stories of acts of kindness (kindscrolling?), which can lift our mood.

Source: An excess of empathy can be bad for your mental health

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The Sweet Spot: Paul Bloom Explains Why a Good Life is Painful

Psychologist Paul Bloom on the importance of suffering, the shortcomings of hedonism, and why he would never plug into the Matrix. Can we live a good life without suffering?

Notice that I used the word “good” and not “happy.” It doesn’t make any sense to ask whether we can suffer and be happy at the same time, but can we live a full and meaningful life without certain kinds of suffering? That’s a much harder question.

I just watched an episode of The Twilight Zone that explores this in a way only that show could. It’s about a gangster who dies and wakes up in a place that has all the markings of heaven — or at least what a guy like that would imagine as heaven. He has all the sex and money and power he wants. He loves it at first. But then he grows bored and aimless and starts to hate it. So he asks his guide if he can go to hell instead, and that’s when he learns he’s already there.

A new book by the psychologist Paul Bloom, called The Sweet Spot, says this story captures the strangeness of human psychology about as well as anything can. It’s a deep dive into the relationship between suffering and meaning, and why living a purposeful life means caring about much more than happiness.

The book isn’t pro-suffering, and Bloom is very careful to distinguish “chosen” suffering from “unchosen” suffering, but it is an attempt to explain why we sometimes seek out hardship and struggle, and why the conventional image of humans as purely pleasure-seeking and pain-avoiding isn’t so much wrong as incomplete.

I reached out to Bloom for the latest episode of Vox Conversations. We talk about the role of suffering in human life, the shortcomings of hedonism, and why he would never plug into the Matrix.

Sean Illing

Hedonism seems like a pretty straightforward path to happiness. If you offered people a chance to not have to work or do anything for money again and told them that they could live in a big house on a great beach with a grand pool and just swim and sunbathe all day, I feel like a lot of people would say, “Hell, yes.”

So what’s wrong with that?

Paul Bloom

A hedonist, and I know a few of them, might say, “Well, maybe they’ll regret a little bit at a time, but if they’re having fun 95 percent of the time and there’s regret 5 percent of the time, they made the right life decision.” And there’s a big debate in psychology over what we should try to maximize. Hedonists say you should try to maximize your day-to-day moments of pleasure, while the rest of us say that you should try to maximize other things as well, including your satisfaction with your life.

So there are lots of ways to answer this question. But my favorite way to think about this, and I know you’re going to be familiar with this, is a famous thought experiment by the philosopher Robert Nozick, who imagines an experience machine, which now everyone knows as the Matrix. They plug you in, and you’re in paradise.

You have immediately lost your memory that you’re plugged in. So, you think you’re living your real life, but you are living a life of immense satisfaction, and challenge, and accomplishment, and carnal joy, and deep respect and everything; the best life possible.

But you’re on a table hooked up to some wires, and that’s you for the rest of your life. And then the question is, would you want to be strapped into the machine? And I’ve asked a lot of people this question in teaching moral psych courses and so on. Some people rank pleasure pretty highly and say, “Yeah, sure. Strap me in.” And certainly if I was in a prison or something, or had a sort of desperate situation, I’d much rather this life of pure pleasure than the life I’m living.

A lot of people say no, however, including Nozick, and me, and maybe you. Because I don’t just want to have experiences, I want to do things. Because I have people I love who I want to be with, and I want to take care of them, not just think I’m with them and take care of them. I’d be abandoning all sorts of friends and family. And yes, while I’m in the machine, I won’t know I’m abandoning them, but I’m abandoning them nonetheless, and that’s wrong. And so, all sorts of other non-hedonistic motivations lead me to say, “I’m going to take my real life.”

Sean Illing

Words like “happiness” and “satisfaction” and “pleasurable” get used interchangeably, but there are important differences here. How do you make these sorts of distinctions?

Paul Bloom

The vocabulary here is dreadful. People use the terms in different ways. And then they appear to be agreeing when they aren’t and disagreeing when they are. It causes a mess.

So, happiness as I see it has at least two meanings. One meaning is close to day-to-day pleasure. Experiments have been done: I give you an iPhone, it beeps at random times, whenever it beeps, you say how happy you are. And then we just take it, and we count it from one to 10, say, and we average it. And I say, “Your life, you’re at 7.8.”

But another sense of happiness is, I sit you down, I say, “Well, how good’s your life going? How happy are you? How’s it going for you?” Give you a scale from one to 10. Now, the numbers tend to correlate. So, maybe you say eight and a half, or seven, or something close, and they don’t tend to diverge that much, but they do diverge.

There are people who live lives of happiness where they’re really having a lot of fun, but they think they’re just living a crap life and they’re full of regret. And other people, and I met more of these, think they’re living a really terrific life.

Imagine somebody with a lot of kids, and a stressful job, and they’re doing a lot of community work, and they have complicated relationships, and they say, “I’m overwhelmed. I have headaches all the time. There’s so much strife, so much struggle. I’m worried about people. And so on.” I ask, “How’s your life?” They say, “My life is wonderful.”

And so the question is, what do you want to maximize? Call them two types of happiness, or call one of them pleasure and another one satisfaction. And I would claim that we want to maximize both. Give me the choice; nobody is indifferent to pleasure, and nobody should be, that seems like madness, but we also want to maximize satisfaction, and we take it as very important.

Sean Illing

Do you think most people are confused about what makes them happy?

Paul Bloom

As a psychologist, I feel I’m supposed to say yes because that’s one of the credos, people don’t know what makes them happy. Psychologists used to believe very strongly that money doesn’t make you happy. And then we would laugh at all the people who thought money makes you happy. And now it turns out that, maybe not surprisingly, money does make you happy.

The more money you make, the happier people are, and you give people money, they become happier. You take away their money, they become less happy because money buys things like food and security and safety and housing and travel and stuff like that.

I think to some extent people are mistaken, and I’ll give you the sort of classic examples, which is we tend to overstate the value of certain possessions. They do make us happy, but we quickly burn out. And we tend to underestimate experiences and relationships.

Sometimes I go to open houses and look at really cool houses, and sometimes I’m going to fantasize about living in one of those houses. And honestly, when my kids were pretty young, I would have a recurring fantasy of living in some sort of penthouse apartment in New York.

But the truth is that’s not the kind of thing that makes a person happy. They sit in this beautiful penthouse and then they want a friend to share it with, they want people to hang out with. I think the one thing people miss is, from both a happiness point of view and also a purpose, meaning, point of view, the power of the right social connections.

Sean Illing

The decision to have kids is such an interesting phenomenon. As you point out, having kids diminishes our day-to-day happiness, reduces marital satisfaction, and that stuff doesn’t really go away until the kids are out of the house. To just ask, “Why are we having kids?” seems dumb because the answer is obviously continuing the species. But on an individual psychological level, why do so many of us actively sign up for so much unhappiness?

Paul Bloom

Yeah, I think it’s a really good question. Having kids for me is kind of a case study through which to explore what people want. And I know a lot of people who don’t have kids and live rich and fulfilling lives. There’s no way this conversation ends with me saying it’s a no-brainer. Maybe some people’s lives would be a lot better if they didn’t.

But the thing about kids, the original studies showed that kids were just a killer, happiness-wise, a lot less pleasure for parents and for non-parents. As always with psychology, later studies find it’s more complicated.

It turns out that a lot of factors determine your happiness. Men tend to be happier being dads than women being moms. Older people tend to be happier than younger people. Single parents have it pretty rough. And there’s an enormous country difference.

All of the original data was done in the United States, and then there was a study that came out looking at 42 countries, and it turns out that the happiness hit for parents is worse in the US than in any other country, probably because of child care issues. But to some extent, your question still remains.

Nobody doubts it’s tough. From a strictly hedonic point of view, spending years with young children is not what you would choose. And yet we do choose it. And we don’t regret it, for the most part. And so the question is why, and I think the answer is that children are not predominantly a hedonic choice. They’re not a pleasure-increasing mechanism.

People choose to have children, and then love their children, and love what they’ve done. Maybe because it gave meaning and purpose to their life. Maybe because they love their children and once you love somebody, you honestly don’t wish that they didn’t exist. And it’s complicated.

There are studies which ask people, “How happy are you?” And parents versus non-parents, the data are all over the place, but sometimes non-parents give you higher scores. Then there are other studies where somebody asks how meaningful your life is, and then it goes the other way.

After my book came out, there was a very interesting article by Erin Westgate and Shigehiro Oishi, on psychological diversity and diverse experiences, where they argue that people want some degree of variety in their life experiences. And for me, having kids introduced me to a new emotion, introduced me to a new feeling, which is intense love of a sort that’s not romantic and not towards a friend.

The feeling of parental or paternal love for me was like seeing a whole different color, and a whole different set of feelings. And again, nothing is unmixed. I quote Zadie Smith, who just speaks wonderfully about the horribleness of having kids, and the horrible risk of having kids.

Sean Illing

Right, because you might lose them. And you just mentioned romantic love, but that seems to me a similar puzzle with a similar answer. The happiness arithmetic there doesn’t really add up either, since loving another person romantically requires total vulnerability and the absolute guarantee of loss and real pain, but we do it anyway because we can’t help it, but also because the peak is unintelligible without the valley. To experience that kind of joy is to risk that kind of suffering.

Paul Bloom

That’s right. And, Zadie Smith again, she quotes a condolence letter, which had the line, “it hurts as much as it’s worth.” And that’s the logic of it. The comedian Louis C.K. has a bit on this, where he talks about romance and falling in love and everything. And he points out that the very best case is that you’ll spend an enormous amount of time with each other, and one of you will die leaving the other one bereft. That’s the best case.


To hear the rest of the conversation, click here

Sean Illing

Sean Illing is the Interviews Writer for Vox and the host of the Vox Conversations podcast. Before publishing things on the Internet, he taught politics and philosophy at a university. Before that, he served in the United States Air Force.

Source: The Sweet Spot: Paul Bloom explains why a good life is painful – Vox

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